Wishlist For The New Government

I did not vote for you, but I did vote. I pay my taxes. I am a citizen of this proud country. Like all other citizens, this is now my government. Whether you read this or not, I have expectations of you. Here is my wishlist.

Don't reform just for the sake of it. Don't open up FDI without analyzing how it affects the masses. We don't want a local Walmart just because. Don't just simply pump money into infrastructure. Instead, have those who yearn for better infrastructure participate in this initiative. You set the business environment. You don't need to setup the business infrastructure.

No more free power, water, land to IT companies. They've milked the tax payers enough. A single Indian Railways employs half as many as the whole IT industry.

Don't ape the US. They are not worthy role models. They snoop on you for heaven's sake. Many leading American economists question their gung-ho capitalist model. We don't need a recession to prove our aping wrong.

Back all your work up with data and models. Hire statisticians on your policy-making panels. Have them predict trends and prove which models will yield expected results before we deploy these policies.

Be Open. Share everything. How decisions are made. How individuals are selected on panels. I should be able to Google anything about your work and land on a .gov.in page. Share information about all subsidies for social schemes and sops given to big business. Let there be no doubt about whether we really are running a socialist government.

Auction everything owned by the citizens. No more doles for non-enterprising businesspersons. Bribing a statesperson or being their relative does not qualify as enterprise.

Increase the scope of e-governance. Make the middle-man obscure. I don't need a passport agent today. Push further. Bring everything online. I would rather not meet a "Babu" if had a choice.

Plug leakages in the PDS system. There are systems that have proved this is possible - Gujarat and Chattisgarh. Ape them.

Bring in universal PDS. You can never be completely sure who is not poor in a majorly poor country like ours. Don't guess. If a few non-deserving families benefit unduly, it's not as big a deal as deserving families being left out.

No more rotting grain due to a lack of storage facilities. Is there any greater sin to let this happen when millions starve each day?

Be pro-entrepreneurship. That is not the same as being pro-business. Make starting up easier. Provide a path to failure for those who wish to learn building something. Entrepreneurs will build those bricks for the foundation you want the future India to stand on, not your Ambanis.

Job creation through entrepreneurship not MNREGA. MNREGA is a band-aid. Not a solution. Entrepreneurs add jobs through their enterprise. They disrupt old norms that don't fit anymore. They create new markets where none existed. They need hands to help them get there. And so they hire. A 100 entrepreneurs will hire more over 5 years, despite a high failure rate, than your pampered big business bullies.

Internet connectivity to every school. This is how we will bring quality lectures to those who don't even have teachers. Enroll volunteers to dub lectures to local languages. Even better - maybe an entrepreneur will figure out how to monetize this. Post everything on YouTube. No barriers to education.

Abolish diesel subsidies completely. Enough bad smoke has filled our skies from folks riding 4x4s running on diesel. They can easily pay double to do the same.

Be pro-agriculture. Make farming a more attractive proposition for those who want to farm. It's not just that agriculture is a traditional occupation. We need self-sustenance and food security for stability at the large scale the second largest population on the planet desires.

Promote organic cultivation. Encourage agri-institutes to R&D and publicize "green" farming practices that ensure long-term food security.

Measure development not by economic growth but by "social mobility potential" - what sort of opportunities are available for upward mobility for those at the bottom of the pyramid.

Prioritize businesses that deserve sops based on long-term objectives. Like combating climate change. Ensuring energy security. Socializing education.

Protect the wild. This is not a nation known for plundering forests. We are historically oriented toward maintaining balance with nature. Empower those who care for our flora and fauna. India is more than just its billion-plus humans.

No more politicians in sport. We need them to take care of larger national interests - not run fiefdoms within sport. Sharad Pawar cannot simultaneously be ICC chief and agriculture minister. Let more sportsmen and businesspersons run sport - bring strategy, experience and business initiatives to sporting bodies.

Invest in citizen security. Pay our police fairly. Make their lives better so they can make ours safer. I'd rather my tax money went to them rather than to sops to big business. Train our police to investigate, coordinate with national security agencies, learn to use modern technology. It is not OK that innocent citizens continue to be blasted away without their families and friends ever receiving justice.

Push businesses to invest in R&D in tie-ups with universities. They cannot continue to sit on the outside and grumble about the poor quality of higher education institutes.

Stop bowing to the West in Climate Conferences and Trade Agreements. Despite their charity toward poverty-removal schemes, they don't give a hoot about poverty alleviation as soon as it directly conflicts with the interests of their own big businesses. You watch out for our best interests. Always.

I would like to believe these are the expectations of not just myself. I would like to believe they belong to an India where our aspirations are no longer bound by reality, but by the dreams the openness of the Internet has exposed us to. It is up to you now to involve us in making these dreams come true. We are here to help. You have our support. Show me what you can do.

Build Bottom-Up, Clean Top-Down

Some problems are inordinately so complex and huge, that it is natural to break them down as a human to be able to comprehend and begin to solve them. There are two major approaches that will immediately settle in your mind once you attempt to comprehend a problem - top-down or bottom-up. Some problems are suited to top-down analysis, whereas others naturally incline themselves to bottom-up perspectives.

Building



When you set out to build something from scratch - let's just say a skyscraper - you start from the bottom. You dig deep into the ground, lay down a firm foundation, and only then start building upwards. How high you can go is directly dependent on how firm and deep your roots are. That's how trees go naturally as well - bottom-up.

Cleaning



Imagine attempting to clean your home - completely, including the ceiling, the ceiling fans, the walls. You don't start with the floor now, do you? You realize that sweeping the ceiling and pulling down cob-webs will pollute the floor anyway, so you decide to do that last. Ceiling, ceiling fittings, walls, wall-hangings, floor. Top-down.

Nation Building

Building a strong nation must indeed follow the same principles, to a layman like me. Firm grassroot institutions that look after the most underprivileged and most populous sections of society - Gram Panchayats, agricultural credit institutions, rural employment schemes - are the foundations on which you build the nation. Are these our strongest organizations today? How long can a nation stand strong with its weakest but most sizable communities being undermined?

Nation Cleaning

Ridding a nation of social evils like corruption is very much akin to cleaning, to a layman like me. Indeed, "cleaning" and "corruption" are often metaphorically used together by most observers. While it is indeed apt to ask people to stop giving bribes to get favors like a driving license or a college seat, we ought as well to notice what holds this culture of corruption up.

Is it really ingrained in our psyche or is it the system that requires cleaning? If it is the latter, does this not require a top-down cleaning then? Once I, as a guard to the manager's office, realize that the manager doesn't accept nor encourage bribes anymore, will I not think twice before harassing someone intending to meet my manager? Are people motivated by morality of peers, or the morality of their leaders? Should not the Prime Minister be open to examination for corruption just as me or you? Should not the cleaning commence from the top and make its way to the bottom?

A Chance for Chennai

Ever since I decided to move back to Homeland and give a career in Chennai a chance, I have been assessing that decision every now and then - not the moving back part, but the choosing Chennai part. Chennai was the obvious choice given my parents decided to retire here. What better place to return to than Home?

However, as I started settling down, I started picking holes with everything around me - the people, the services, the weather, the surroundings - everything except my mom's food! It turned out to be one of those "better than thou" ranting phases every returnee from a foreign land goes through when settling down back at home. I mistook it for a personal vendetta against Chennai (yes, I often "mistake" myself), which it was not. But, it forced me to look closer at the observations I had been collecting in the back of my head about this city and the feedback of other folk about this city. At the risk of annoying a few people, I hereby declare that what follows is the personal opinion of the author, and has deep ties with this blog, but not with Blogger in general.

Another disclaimer - I have lived 17 years of my life in Mumbai, making me Mumbaikar at heart. 7 years were spent in Hyderabad and 2 in Pune. Having warned you, I will now attempt to throw some perspective into some of the more common reasons I have stumbled upon regarding why folks seem to dislike Chennai.

Too Hot!

How hot is too hot anyway? Isn't it all relative? Some find Tikka Masala "tikka", while some others call Mirchi ka Saalan bland. When the mercury hit 40C last week, I was grumbling aloud. That was until I visited Delhi (42C with a Loo) and Varanasi (45C with Loo++). For reference, every degree beyond 40, feels like 10. The Loo in Varanasi was more like "Waterloo" - sucked out all the water you gulped 5 minutes ago.

No Speak Hindi (aka Tamizh TeriMa)

Ever been to Russia? Me neither. But I wish to generalize. They "No Speak English" there as well. Yes, they might understand when you speak to them in English. But, they don't have to respond back in English. It is the same with some Tamizhians and Tamizh - they are proud of their language. Yes, this pride has no place in a sovereign, secular, united country like India. Ever try telling that to the strictly Marathi speaking bus conductor in Pune? "Pudhe chalaa...Aikat naahi kaay tula?" Or is that because Marathi is accidentally closer to Hindi?

If one were to really argue for this pride, you don't need to look beyond a Wikipedia page on the language - Tamizh dates back to an age earlier than even Sanskrit, let alone Hindi or Marathi or English. If the world were ending tomorrow and one had to choose to preserve 2 ancient Indian languages over all else today, the linguist's choice would be Tamizh and Sanskrit. Thankfully, the world only ends in December 2012.

I agree that this blind pride in the mother tongue seems to sometimes slam doors shut on non-Tamizh-speaking people willing to blend into Chennai. It is often seen as prejudice against "naarthies", and at other times interpreted as expressing a lack of friendliness in the people in general. While the former can be explained by following the dynamics of the political movements (read Dravidian Self-Respect Movement) of the region since independence, the latter simply is way too simplistic. Humans in one region of the world cannot be more or less friendly compared to another region. That argument is a non-starter. I tried it against Strangelandians myself, and it failed to stand the test of time.

We visit Germany for a short working stay and strive to learn German. We indulge in English from kindergarten so we can work with the English speaking world (UK+US+Australia?). (Also, so that we can write blog posts in English when we grow up). But ask me to pick up some Tamizh in Tamilnadu or Telugu in Andhra Pradesh and I shall call it blasphemy! "YOU need to adapt to ME and not the other way round". We are better to aliens than to our own countrymen.

Rice is NOT a food group

Neither is corn a food group in Mexico. Nor is fish a food group in Thailand. Geography - one of those subjects in school we never cared for - will explain to you why some regions are more inclined to making some staple food item centric to their diet. When in the US, vegetarians struggle to find meat-free diets on a daily basis, and resort to cooking for oneself. That is too far to go when in another region of your own country. In fact, scratch that. There are simply too many restaurants in Chennai that serve decent non-Rice fare to make this argument relevant. More decent than the fare served in desi restaurants abroad.

Roads are dignified spittoons

Yes they are. I have no clue what makes people spit on the road and then urge others to walk on the same roads. While the spit here down South is white in color and vanilla flavored (disclaimer - I haven't tasted any but my own), move further north and the color turns orange or bright red, is paan-flavored (see previous disclaimer) and leaves a bigger spit-print on the roads. You prefer.

Rude Auto Rickshaw Drivers

Auto Rickshaws don't use the meter in this city, and the price is fixed before you board the vehicle like dowry is agreed upon before a girl gets married. Smartly dressed and looking affluent? Haggling starts at double the normal rate. Speaking anything but Tamizh? Rs.25 foreign language surcharge to communicate with you. Yes, you need immense negotiating skills if you are to ride in an auto at a fair price here.

The awesome side-effect though is that now you get to Save The World. Go Green. Use public transport. This is the secret agenda behind the state government promoting rude auto drivers.

In a hurry and really, really need to take an auto? Use a "Call Taxi" instead. Rude auto-drivers are exactly the kind of extreme adversity that leads to brilliant innovation. We have "Call Taxis" thanks to someone being really keen on solving (making money) off this problem.

Filthy

Pan-India problem. Next.

Big moustaches

Sign of a hero warrior. Next.

Moustachioed heroes

Bhagat Singh anyone? Anil Kapoor? I know, I give up.

Rajnikanth

Dei! Don't make this personal!

The Truths and Myths of Slumdog

Never in my living days have I seen such interest in a movie based in India. The hype is unbelievable and it would not surprise me if it nabbed the Oscar for Best Director, besides the mostly certain nod for A.R.Rehman for his brilliant musical score. But has it really rung the right bells, tickled the right feathers, fluffed the right pillows with the messages it has sent out?

It's been a month now since I saw the movie. All the blurry images and the exciting sequences should have faded, and what's left must be indelible enough for a trustworthy review of this question. I watched this movie in New Jersey with a fairly dominant Caucasian crowd, and a few Indians (besides my relatives) seated in the last few rows. The "white folk" waited until the credits rolled to a close - each one of them - and applauded to no one in particular. The "desis" sneaked out before the lights turned on, clearly embarrassed by what had been depicted!


Separating The Grain From The Chaff

• All Indians are fluent English speakers, albeit with an accent! - Myth. The movie was made for the Western audience. Clearly an overdose of sub-titles would have ruined the experience.


• Primary schools run by the government primarily teach Classic English literature including The Three Musketeers. Myth. Primary government-run schools are lucky to have regular attendance from teachers, let alone students, and Three Musketeers is not a staple of the curriculum. Another of those facets palatable to a Western theme.


• Slum-dwellers practice open defecation. Truth. Sadly, most of them do not even have the odd door to hide them from public view.


• People stop what they are doing to watch "Who wants to be a millionaire". Truth. The Indian version of WWTBM actually reported the highest TRP ratings ever, as high as an Indo-Pak cricket match, for weeks together.


• Bad guys grab kids off the street and mutilate them, before putting them to work as beggars. Truth. It is no coincidence that 4 out of 5 child beggars I encountered in Mumbai were either blind or handicapped. The occasional girl also carried a baby "brother" for added sympathy-value.


• A Mercedes luxury car can be unscrewed apart in a mere matter of minutes. Truth. Oh yeah, that can definitely be done with a team of skilled hands! In some parts of Mumbai, a stolen car is dismantled even before a police report has been filed.


• A band of Hindu activists attacked pockets of Muslim population with swords. Truth. Of course, there was a tit-for-tat too.


• Commuters don't give a damn when a bunch of bad guys drag a woman off the trains. Truth. Too often has this proved to be true in a city like Mumbai, where everyone always has something more important to do.

It's All True!

When most of what we saw in the movie was true - and most people who have lived in Mumbai will testify to that - then why are so many Indians raging at this depiction? One reason is that the upwardly mobile and social elite are now shamed because the truth is out about the slums and poverty of the country, which is embedded even in one of the biggest cities of the world like Mumbai. To add to their misery, the direction and cinematography of the movie has been so colourful and fast-paced that it has got people hooked and sold them the story a dime a dozen. The story of the "real" India.

If we keep the hollow pride of these elite aside, one can hear the voices calling for moderation, for the complete picture. Although the movie only hinted at the glowing side of a progressive nation, the focus clearly was on the poverty, and the indomitable spirit of a slum child to rise above it.


The Whole Is The Sum Of The Parts?

No one can blame these critics either. The West has always loved its cliches. 20 years ago, India was a nation of moustachioed snake charmers, "turbanised" rope tricksters and beggars. Today, it is the nation of back-office tech geeks, call center operators and beggars. The Western media has been awash with stories of the roaring Indian Tiger and the fiery Chinese Dragon. I have had numerous personal experiences of the latent exasperation in Strangeland that boils up at success stories from South Asia. In a way, stories of poverty, true as they may be, gives them a much vaunted sense of vindication, that finally their suspicions and doubts have found a base to latch on to. No wonder then that the book of the year (Arvind Adiga's Booker prize winner The White Tiger) and most likely the movie of the year, had poverty and deprivation in India as their central theme.

To the world - Do realise that no single movie can show you the complete picture. More than half of India's populace is poverty-stricken, but not everyone is miserable. Nor is every other person in tech-support. It is a country of financial extremes, visible both in big cities and the remotest villages. You have to see it to understand it!

To fellow Indians - Stop caring what the world thinks anymore. That was Mahatma Gandhi's way too. Let our actions speak for themselves. If this leads to a little complacency from the rest of the world, that wouldn't hurt now, would it?

Reactive, Or Proactive?

It was the 26th of November, and I had a day off work as I was flying out from Austin toward Newark to spend the Thanksgiving weekend with relatives from Mom's side. The news scene was calm when I left home. 6 hours later as I land in Newark shielded from the real world in the confines of my airplane, my sister calls up to tell me there has been a dramatic change, and looking at how the events unfolded since, it is clear not much will be the same again.

At the airport, people watched as CNN splashed pictures of a burning century old Taj hotel, by the side of which I have walked so many times, but never ventured in. Reports of a massive operation by infiltrators who breached the shores of India's financial capital, my home for over 17 years, using boats, poured in as I stared in shock. CST railway terminus, which was where we would get off to go watch a movie at Sterling or Regal, was splattered with bodies and bloody trails of cold-blooded murder. Of all the places attacked by the cowards, the brutal mindless slaughter at CST where 2 men with guns simply sprayed bullets and lobbed grenades into the 10PM crowd, hit me the hardest, although the Indian media begs to differ.

Global Exposure

Living in Strangeland at this time gives me a different perspective of the reaction to the attacks, one from the same country that faced its own attack on its financial hub on 9/11, and responded in kind, and more. The widespread coverage on CNN, all day long, over local US news really is unprecedented. It surprised me that they deemed it important enough to cover the story as it unfolds, given the apathy of Strangeland toward anything that does not concern themselves directly.

It was clear then that the terrorists had achieved their motives. Their blasts were loud enough to be heard all across the globe. They targeted foreigners to ensure the international media paid attention. Not many international businesspersons will see India as a secure place anymore, at least for a short time. Strangeland tried to find a link back to itself - the epicenter of global interest - as it always does. Theories tying the attacks to the change brought about by election of Obama were thrown around, but not for long. When the links to Pakistan were loud and clear, there was only one voice - Pakistan is a rogue state and at the crossroads of all terrorist activity in the world today.

Local Excesses

It is understandable that people are stunned, hurt and angry. I plead guilty of belonging to the same club myself for a while. People want action, immediate results and solutions, a boost to the confidence of walking freely again in their own streets. Television screens and newspapers and internet blogs are awash with nationalist fervour demanding instant karma, and booing the government for its inaction. The only problem is that there is no quick fix to this madness. It's hard to realise this when one is possessed by hatred, and emotions blur all sense of reason.

All it took for me, is my brother to ask a simple question - "So you think a war is the solution?". Going on a hunt to find and, to use Bush-speak, "smoke-out" the perpetrators of such violence will only make us exactly like these terrorists themselves. And who is to say this will have achieved anything, other than a false feeling of security? It can only breed more hatred against India, which most people in the world today see as a peaceful nation.

Lessons From The Recent Past

One only needs to look at Strangeland and their reaction after 9/11. Two heavily funded wars, thousands of soldiers lost, almost a trillion dollars burnt, economy in ruins, and what is the state of terror in the world today? Yes, the American shores haven't been breached since, but clearly, the war on America has moved elsewhere - Iraq. The deaths of thousands of innocent civilians in Iraq and Afghanistan do no good to the American image in the world - especially the Islamic population. How can Strangeland claim to be better today than the enemies it fights?

Einstein once said, although not related to this context, that "Problems cannot be solved at the same level of thinking that created them". How can we stoop down to the same violent tactics and mindless slaughter, in the quest to eliminate terror, that the terrorists themselves apply? Who is to say that since we claim to have better intentions and seek the greater good, we are more righteous in our actions? Is there a way to leave all the innocent people, who want nothing to do with these activities, out of this?

The Indian Way

There is only one way to tackle the problems India faces - the Indian Way. That is the way we fought for our freedom, and that is the attitude that ensures billions today still look up to India for its peaceful outlook. Just last week my cab driver from Ethiopia smiled back at the mention of my Homeland, because of his image of the country, and his interactions with his teachers who came all the way from India to teach in his schools.

The Indian Way does not mean we turn over the other cheek and wait for the next slap. Its essence lies in the statement - "Despise the action, not the doer". The problem of terrorism cannot be solved by finding and eliminating all the people involved. That is just too simplistic. One has to locate and weed out all the sentiments that lead to such inhuman acts and try to address them at the same time that we take steps to locate the actual actors involved.

Of course, if a war is forced upon us, we will fight like we have 4 times before, to protect our sovereignty. But, a war initiated as a remedy is not the solution, ever, to any problem. If anything, it sows the seeds of more problems for the future. With India's economy booming, and the world watching, do we want to bankroll a war and take ourselves back by 20 years? Won't a war really be a victory for those nasty terrorists who ploughed through Mumbai? The attack on the financial hub of India, will eventually have then led to its economic demise.

To sum it all up, here's a little incident. At a comedy club in New York, a few days after 26/11, the host found me, an Indian, in the audience and said "I can't understand why, when there are a billion of you guys, you don't just go over and kick Pakistan's ass". Everyone laughed. But we know the answer, right? Cos we are not Strangeland.

Ebony and Ivory, Mars and Venus

My stint in Strangeland happens to coincide with one of the historic moments in Strangelandian history, and I get to witness first-hand some of the most remarkable events taking place as this nation tries to finally shed the image of an intolerant society when it comes to choosing the president. In one of my very early posts back in October 2005, I had ridiculed that the White House should really be renamed to the White Man House so that it becomes explicit who is allowed to become President of Strangeland.

Little was I to know that in less than 2 years since, both the words "White" and "Man" were about to be challenged like never before by Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. After Hillary's bitter acceptance of defeat, the Republican nominee John McCain, revived the interest she had generated in female voters by choosing Sarah Palin as his running mate. It is yet to be ascertained if at 72, McCain has the legs to run really, while Palin, having already announced herself as a "Hockey Mom" and "Pitbull" has made it clear for the record that she is willing and capable.

On The Stand

One thing that caught my eye was how the media is allowed - in fact they deemed it their right - to corner the candidates and put them on a pedestal dealing with all sorts of questions and responses on issues. In Homeland, in stark contrast, the politicians decide when and where they will speak to the mass public and what they will be willing to talk about. The media there is really no more than a pair of omni-present eyes and ears that notes every move and jots down every word they can get their hands on. We never get to know our leader up-close and personal. They are but a face behind the microphone, and it is upto us to sort through the truth from the unavoidable bag of lies.

Putting candidates on the stand brings out this other side which we don't see in rehearsed speeches written by stunningly skilled writers - responsiveness, reaction to questions and real issues without the luxury of peeking down on a piece of paper. I personally think that is very important to allow the voters to decide who they want to choose.

Foot-in-mouth, head-up-backside

Of course, one can only enjoy the obvious results of the reflex action tests that mediapersons put candidates through - the truths that slip out, the gaffes that they can't tie down. When that happens, hapless campaign managers have to come out and firefight to put the words into context and turn them on their head.

In this regard, I like to compare Palin to a mix of Govinda (MP from North Mumbai) and Laloo Prasad Yadav (Railway Minister in cabinet). When she calls herself one from the "small town" and "far away from the politics of Washington", I can only remember Govinda's election-winning catch-phrases like "Virar ka chokra". When she talks about her hunting and pets, memories of Laloo describing his morning chores involving milking the "bhains" inevitably shoot back. Who says Homeland politicians are obscure?



When it comes to lies, half-truths, dodging issues, walloping the opposing candidate, dirty scandalous tricks, I don't think Strangeland politics is far behind Homeland at all; only more transparent. Tons of TV shows on news channels and comedy networks pick up on these sly remarks and put them in perspective for all to see. For instance, John McCain is taped saying the "fundamentals of the economy are strong" and that he has no fears for it only 2 weeks before the Wall Street crash, when he then comes out to say "we are in the midst of the worst crisis" he has ever seen.

The debates

Another interesting aspect of the campaign here in Strangeland are the live, televised debates between the candidates. While the nation watches, the two of them fight it out for mass approval in 90 minutes of feverish argumentation. There are few better ways to analyse the candidates than simultaneously being able to weigh them against each other. Another advantage I am sure the voters in Homeland would love to be able to have. All we get are mass rallies, memorized lines and jingoistic slogans. A debate brings out the best and the worst in the candidate, shows you how strong they are, how smart they are, and how gracefully they can deal with heated discussions. I don't need to choose one of these candidates, so I simply enjoy the debates like only a Homelandian can.

In exactly one month's time, the ballot will be held and the verdict will be out. Hopefully, it will be the historic ballot that everyone looks forward to. As for Homeland, I really don't think it matters who wins. History shows that no matter who the President is in Strangeland, the foreign policy remains mostly along the same tangential - aggressive, self-serving and self-gratifying.

Select famous phrases from the candidates

"Do you know what the difference between a hockey mom and a pitbull is? It's Lipstick!" - Sarah Palin.

"Hillary Clinton is as qualified or more qualified than I am to be vice president of the United States of America. Quite frankly, it might have been a better pick than me." - Joe Biden.

"On this Memorial Day, as our nation honors its unbroken line of fallen heroes -- and I see many of them in the audience here today -- our sense of patriotism is particularly strong." - Barack Obama.

"It's easy for me to go to Washington and, frankly, be somewhat divorced from the day-to-day challenges people have." - John McCain.

"They're our next door neighbors and you can actually see Russia from land here in Alaska, from an island in Alaska." - Sarah Palin.

"As for that VP talk all the time, I'll tell you, I still can't answer that question until somebody answers for me what is it exactly that the VP does every day?" - Sarah Palin, before she was chosen to be the running mate.

"The role of the vice president is to break ties in the Senate and inquire daily into the health of the president." - John McCain.

Your Time Has Come

After months of world-wide protests and questions about health safety, the 2008 Beijing Olympics finally kicked off. And what a kick-off it turned out to be! For the Western world, so sure of their dominance with technology and culture and virtues and basically everything, the opening ceremony itself was a kick below the belt, a rude awakening.

The Rise Of The Dragon

Not that China hasn't grabbed attention over the last few years. Phenomenal population growth and hitting the billion mark, were soon followed by a successful control in birth rates. Of course, how the control was achieved may have a dubious side or two of its own. Which brings us to the second most popular Chinese coverage in the media - human rights abuse. Reports about the second child being snatched away from hapless parents, anti-communist or pro-Tibetan protests being squashed without notice and general forceful adherence to communist policies have hogged the international media and portrayed China as a fire-spitting Dragon. The largest number of criminal executions in the world anywhere doesn't get missed either.



The most popular Western media coverage of China though stems from fear, a realisation deep within about the coming of a superpower like none before, but one which no one wants to accept completely. Statistics proving China is now the "circuit-board" of the world, leading in electronics, and generally any sort of manufacturing, are ably matched by numbers showing disproportionate growth in GDP and wealth, and eventually political clout and military might that the Dragon now wields. Everyone is looking behind their backs.

Whatever the reason, one thing is for sure. From a virtual nobody, China is on the world's lips and thoughts every single day now. Their presence is not taken for granted anymore.

Icing On The Cake

Gone are the days where the West enjoyed centuries of technological superiority on the back of the Industrial Revolution. Now, most manufacturing takes place in East Asia. A popular tag on products in the stores in the US reads - "Designed in the US. Made in China" - as if to reassure where the brains lie. Nevertheless, the Chinese have not only minted money from their manufacturing exploits, but also inherited skills that help them master technology on their own.

What better way to signal your intentions and abilities to the world than the Olympic Opening Ceremony, while everyone on the planet is tuned in. The magnificent display filled the senses of the viewers and everyone must have been left with a gaping wide-open jaw. Anyone who still thought of China as the land of cheap labourers, will not dare to think that again. Lights, organisation of massive proportions, sounds, colours, shadow-plays and marvels of modern technology intermingled with varied sights that gave a glimpse into the country's five thousand year cultural history and variety. It was like saying - "We have always been around, long before any of you were civilized. Now, we are ready to take the stage."



Homeland, Take a Cue

It is widely said that the next coming would be that of India's. Homeland will soon be 61 years old - young enough to justify it's lag - but another nation whose time is almost here. After China, the Indian Tiger gets second-best media coverage in the West. But, it is not one of utter fear, but rather one of upheaval of the backward. A story of rags to riches, as opposed to lust for universal fiefdom.

I wonder how India will send its message out when it wants to announce to the world that there is a new kid on the block. History however, gives us enough clues. Homeland has never been boisterous. The messages are always subtle, and India has always preferred a gradual flowing change as opposed to a sharp transition. So eventually, I believe when its time comes, people will not be shocked but instead accept it as fate that awaited. However, I do hope there are a few little stunning moves in the midst. I anxiously look forward to the lunar-probe mission - Chandrayaan-1 - later this year. No one expected India to come this close to such a massive step, indigenously, only a few years after Independence. It's all been hush-hush, but when its time to blast off, I hope it isn't!


Fear Translates to Hate
A few months ago, I walked into a barbershop (hair saloon for the unconventional) in Strangeland. The media was whipping China's backside for toxic levels of lead in Chinese toys (80% of toys in the world are Chinese!) at the time. A mom was helping her 7 year old with his homework - an essay on toys - while she waited her turn. Seeing me walk in, she somehow felt like I needed chastising, and asked her son to read aloud what he had written. He read aloud - "I love playing with toys when I come from school. However, recently, I learnt it is not safe to play anymore. The Chinese toys are poisonous. China makes bad toys, and everything they make is bad. They should stop making things and we should stop buying from them." The mom gave him a mini-applause, both obviously needing a lesson in global economics, and of course, English essay writing. By the way, do I look like I am Chinese?

Where Am I?

That was my first reaction when I first heard what was going on right outside my front door - to ask myself where I am. Because this isn't a scene I have witnessed before. I was chatting with my buddy Ashwin, and it was 1am at night here in Austin, and he was surprised when I asked him too - Where Am I? Call me naive, but I have never heard this kinda talk in my life before.

The Conversation

Girl A : Yayyy...here comes the birthday girl! And here is her birthday boy, her birthday gift.

Girl B : This is a birthday party? Awww..you should have told me. I just got a fresh stash yesterday. We could have smoked some pot tonight. Hey, have you done it before?

Birthday Girl : Nope.

Girl B : Aww...my friend here..what's your name?..

Birthday Girl : Gina.

Girl B : Yeah, Gina, here has never done it before people. Do we still have time?

Boy C : Heyyyy..is that Cigga-weed?... Ha? ...Ha? How come you are doing it alone. Come on give me some.

Girl B : C'mon Gina. Give it a shot. It's just marijuana. It's clinically approved.

Loud cheers sound out.


What is so weird?

Well, I have never had friends that indulge in such acts. Never. Neither have I ever been in the neighbourhood of such activities all my life. No wonder then that this incident, happening right outside my door, late at night, with some of the people that poured out of the loud, obnoxious party next door, gave me a little shock.

Except at work and at the stores, I hardly interact with StrangeLandians here. Atleast, most of my friendly chats are limited to Indians, and that made me feel I am still in India, to some extent. But, this kinda jolted me back to reality. It's hard to escape this here in StrangeLand, no matter where you live, what with the "fresh stash" apparently available freely.

Is India clean?

With all the overnight prosperity HomeLand is seeing, with bloated salaries and extravagant lifestyles, which is only true of the urban classes, how far can we be from this way of life? A life where your only intention is to live happily, with no consideration to morals and with no attachment to one's culture that parents try hard to inculcate. "What I like, is what I shall do."

With both parents increasingly deciding to take up full-time jobs to support the family's lavish needs, kids are thrust relatively early into life on their own, with no protection whatsoever of the parent's guiding words to keep them away from vices. I have lived in Pune, and witnessed how a mass of young students and highly-paid young professionals exploit their new-found freedom. Exposed to the western way of life on TV, chat shows, tabloids, gloss magazines, movies, they are beginning to discover what they are missing out on, in life. The old adage, "You only have one life" is beaten to death to explain all the vices one will indulge into.

I have encountered people who acknowledge, very openly, that they are into smoking gaanja, or marijuana, right there in Pune. I have heard them talk about finding their way through the police bandobast to get their hands on some "maal" for the weekend. They are even known to make the cigga-weed mentioned above and present it as a cigarette to unsuspecting friends, to help them grow their circle; you know, increase the demand, so that the supply chain stays strong.

Not too long ago, a rave party was organised in the outskirts of Pune, apparently by a drug-dealer, and it lured over 250 youngsters from Mumbai and Pune, all having cash and the will to have a good time. They were rounded up by the cops, and a few kilograms of stuff, a large stack of alcohol, and a couple hundred condoms, were recovered from the site. The worst aspect of this was that a large number of them were under 18. And, where were all the logistics finalised and people invited? The friendly neighbourhood social community - Orkut. No, we aren't too far behind in HomeLand ourselves.

Ok, now Where Am I Going?

I have no right to comment on what people do, and what they shouldn't. But, if there are laws against some activities, and are widely approved, I believe they were meant to maintain order. And to provide security to the innocent little kids who can be dragged into this way of life, especially when there is a parent who isn't keeping tabs on their offspring. Freedom and having fun, is very good. One empowers you and prepares you for the life ahead, and the other, gives life a certain refreshment to keep you chugging along.

But, there is only one end to all this. A shorter life. Losing touch with life itself, and ending up disillusioned about its purpose. Losing your parents, your family, and ending up with friends that do fill up your holes enough, but are only around as long as you are like them - high.

I am worried, and only because I have now seen with my own eyes how HomeLand is transforming. With all the good that is happening in the country, slowly sneaking up, unnoticed or ignored, behind all the limelight, is this evil, the unmistakable side-effect of growing prosperity. I fear for whether my country will end up being exactly what I hate about StrangeLand. I fear we are too quickly replacing thousands of years of heritage with the brash attitudes of the West, instead of letting the natural confluence of the cultures happen to bring out the best in them. Is HomeLand growing too fast for its own good?