Sunday, December 04, 2005

Fear Of The Dark


When the light begins to change
I sometimes feel a little strange
A little anxious when it’s dark

Fear of the dark, fear of the dark
I have a constant fear that someone's always near
Fear of the dark, fear of the dark
I have a phobia that someone’s always there




Over the Thanksgiving weekend, my cousin brothers extracted a lot of fun out of scaring my little sister Yera with an Ouija board, the one where you sit in the dark and place a finger over a planchette and it moves signalling that you are talking to a spirit. To me it immediately sounds a load of crap, cos obviously they are moving it with their hands, either with intention or not. But, I can imagine myself being 13, and I bet I'd be scared as hell too. She had a hard time sleeping that night, and it kinda led me thinking about the Spirits and the Ghosts.

Evil?

Why are ghosts considered bad? Why have we always been taught to be scared of them? If a ghost is simply a soul from the body of a person, there have to be atleast as many good ones as there are bad ones.

Why are ghosts only found at night and rarely at daytime? Why do they hide in dark places? From what I have heard, they are ultra-powerful cos the rules of this world don't apply to them. If so, what's with the guerilla warfare? Is one of them watching me right now and smirking at my ignorance? Are they gonna get back at me for this blog?

Another theory I've heard very often is that if one believes in angels, then one must believe there's an opposite too. It may come as no surprise, but angels are as much a myth to me as ghosts. For me, both ghosts and angels are too stereo-typed to be true.

Watching horror films the night before
Debating wiches and folklore
The unknown troubles on your mind
Maybe your mind is playing tricks
You sense and suddenly eyes fix
On dancing shadows from behind




Isn't it true that we 'sense' ghosts more readily right after watching a horror movie, or being told folklores about them? Mere hustles in the curtains and the shadows of trees on windows suddenly come to life. I remember one of my friends returning home after we all watched a late night show of The Sixth Sense. He headed straight for the loo, and poor thing, the lights blew on him when he was inside. What timing! All I'm saying is - Its All In Your Head. Just needs a trigger.

Growing up with ghosts

We are all introduced to ghosts by whoever, when we are kids. What a kid learns at that young age, always sticks. I dont think I was scared when I was 2 or 3 and left alone in the dark. Yes, I missed my mom and cried, but that's different. As I started being introduced to the spooky stuff, I would be scared to enter a dark room, turn off the lights myself before going to sleep. The seeds had been planted for a lifetime.

To make things worse, there were some ruins next to my school and..surprise, they were haunted by ghosts! I could see them from the balcony of my house and I walked past them many a time - only once at night, with my mom. My dad knows how much this bothered me. I would have a hard time even going to the balcony at night. And he was the one who helped clear the mysteries of ghosts and spirits in my head. The interesting thing is that last time I visited Hyderabad, one of my friends who knew how much I was scared of these ruins, invited me to go see them again, in the dark. He had a naughty smirk on his face. I think he was surprised how I readily agreed and actually enjoyed watching them from up-close, in the faint moonlight. Dude didnt know I am over it!

What I Believe

Every religion has its own way of explaining life after death, which to me is a way of comforting a person who has lost someone close. Knowing that they live on, not in this world but some other, and that we will join them soon, is a soothing thought. Somewhere down the line, this was twisted and there were exceptions to the rule. Some souls missed the bus (or is it the boat?) and stayed back cos they had unfinished business - like haunting for example? We have all wanted to do that, haven't we? In the Hindu philosophy, the soul is always stuck in the cycle of karma and may not leave the earth till its time has come and it has done enough good. It has to be re-born in another form. The good thing is they never asserted the souls are bad.

I believe that ghosts do not exist and I won't till I see one myself. And even if they do exist, they are not all bad. Most of these ghosts are my ancestors and they are protecting me, if anything.

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