The Boston Tea Party

Damn, have I been busy! All my regular readers (yes, both of you) must have realized I’ve been missing for a while. Hope you didn’t report me missing with the local police. I was drowned in tons of work, and now I get the much-needed break..where I have to travel! Ok, Im supposed to see this as an “opportunity”, cos I’m in StrangeLand, and I get to see another new city!

Where am I? I am in the place where StrangeLand’s freedom struggle took its first steps..Yup, my first ever blog from Boston, MA. Not to mention my first ever visit to this place too. Kinda like Meerut, UP. For the uninitiated (read non-Indians), it’s the place where India’s freedom struggle took its first steps, except that it has 100 times fewer cars.

Why the trip?

Well, I get to meet with the Einsteins of the software industry, more correctly the storage industry, and they know who they are (Hint : Whats the most famous equation Einstein ever developed?). More about them later. But, I was supposed to represent the company I work for and basically get some questions answered. They are Einsteins. Gotto have the answers.

The trip

I’m traveling with another guy from the company, and when we choose seats, he amazingly chooses to get a seat in a different row! Man, I didn’t know I was so nauseating…Nah, I think he did ME a favour instead. I’m not the one who’s judgemental about who sits next to me! 1 short and another loooong flight take me to Boston. On the long flight, Miss stewardess herself sits beside me. I’m on the window seat. But, I keep my charms sealed within, and let the other guy sitting next to her hit on her. “So, which airlines do you work for?” “North American” (Did she make that up?) “And you fly American, haha funny” (I don’t think so) “Yeah, I’m on my trip home. We picked up some soldiers from Eye-Rack” (For those who dunno, that’s how StrangeLandians pronounce Iraq). Long pause, more stupid jokes and one bored stewardess who says “Im just looking forward to catching up on some sleep”. Me, Im catching up on reading. Damn, there’s so much pressure. My company’s spending more than 1.5k dollars for the trip, I better ask the right questions to those Einsteins.

After my long serious reading session, stewardess tries chatting me up with stuff like “Can you see land?” Are we on a ship in the ocean, far away from any semblance of land for months? I’m avoiding my stupid jokes here and acting like the Marlboro guy, who says little and acts smart. I’m solving puzzles from the magazine, pondering over the crossword and wondering why they don’t have diagonals to solve. Finally, when we are waiting to get out at Boston airport, “you must be waiting to get out of here right?” Damn, have I been acting like a jerk? Wow, I’ve made a woman feel like I’ve been avoiding her, that’s a first! No, not really. I take that back. I’m an expert at that. My girl will vouch for me. My stupid remark in response, “Only if I can move my feet, cos I can’t even feel them”. 4 hours of flying can do that to you. You end up with numb feet and you tell stupid jokes.

Worst time to be in Boston. Raining. Freezing cold. I use my brand new jacket for the first time. I was kinda hoping for snow too, but not my luck I guess. I still have tomorrow morning to witness snow for the first time ever.

The Cadillac

Kind Hertz car rental gals give us the Cadillac to drive from Boston to the hotel. Damn.
Such a huge car. Not huge actually, just long. But, with leather cushions and sleek interiors, best car I’ve been in. And it sounds so smooth too. Digital tachometers, speedometers and all other o-meters. I’ve got one word for this car – awesome.

The hotel

Radisson hotel. Having lived with 25 odd channels, of which 18 I never watch, for over 2 months now, the TV here with 70 channels is most welcome! I watch a Spanish channel cos they have blaring music and cheesy flashbacks in the soap operas, that remind me of all the soap crap served up back home. Oh sorry, that’s soap Krap. For all the morons who didn’t get that joke, its cos all the damn soaps have names that begin with ‘K’. Yeah, now you are laughing, HA HA. Well, I was lying. I watched them cos they had beautiful latino girls! Only for 5 minutes ok! The bad part is the bed - so bad, I hardly sleep all night.

The Einsteins

Well, the Einsteins don’t answer my questions. They are actually stumped. “Hmm, we never though of that”. So, we flew all this way for nothing? I guess we got some extra context into what they are doing, and our eyes opened to the fact that big companies pretend they are Einsteins, when they really aren’t. The stuff they’ve built in a year, could be easily built in a couple of months by the guys in my company. And in the end, it doesn’t even work that well. I don’t remember much from the trip to the Einsteins cos a breeze carrying ice instead of air hit me before I entered their haven, and I got my senses back only only a few hours ago, which of course you wont believe, cos you have this very blog to prove that I never got my senses back. Damn, its cold! Im surpised I don’t have ice-cream flowing in my viens.

What next?

Well, discover all the channels that StrangeLand strangely presents – Court TV (?), Food TV, Weather channel, Game show network, comedy central, home shopping network, travel tv, Bravo (!), Sci-Fi Tv, My TV, MTV. Ok, we have MTV too. Gotto wake up real early and catch a flight. And return the Cadillac, boohoo. It would have been a perfect b’day gift. Yeah, so you forgot to wish me, huh?