The American Cookie : Something HomeLand Can Do With

Yeah, I know, my posts have been meandering yes, but ultimately, always within a quarter mile radius of the closest fuel station - StrangeLand bashing - that keeps me going. I can go on like this and never run out of gas, cos well, after all, Im in the nation that burns the most per capita gas anywhere. Plus, the fact Im living here for the time being and the way things are here, the gas station is always within a quarter mile radius, giving me more fodder to fire my cannons. But for once, I wanna tell you something I do like about this country! Yeah, you can call this a weekend break from the bashing for StrangeLand.


Number 1... Chocolate Cookies! They are everywhere. I absolutely have a brain-dead craving for the chocolate chip cookies. Something about those cookies, I have no idea what, makes them hundred times better than the cookies I get back in HomeLand. Maybe its the fact that the chips are just the right size and the ratio of chip to cookie is perfect, but thats going too far. My office is stacked with Famous Amos cookies and boy I cant stop having them. Im not a great food critic, so dont expect me to zap off a few foodie metaphors here to show you how enjoyable they are!

In case you are scared Im gonna list more cookies here (or you were desperatingly hoping I do that and put you to sleep, you insomniac!), well fear not. The American cookie is something I always liked about StrangeLand, and I used it to represent the good stuff about this land, just like they used that absolute nonsense metaphor "The American Pie" for something equally enjoyable I guess.

Number 2... Land of opportunities. Boy, if someone wants to make it big here, she just needs to work hard, believe in herself and convince the ones with the moolah to pump it into her ideas (Political correctness demands making no gender assumptions, but if you choose she over a he, you are always safe. Of course I slipped in a 'Boy' instead of a 'Girl' to begin with, heeheehaahaa). Well, isnt that true everywhere you moron, you wanna ask? Its the reknowned "Work Hard, Believe in Yourself and Trick Morons to pay for what you believe in" funda, never fails. (Never heard of it? Well now you have!) The only difference is that the morons with the money are all here, and they are desperate to multiply their investments if you have a real good idea with you that assures good returns. (Well, who can blame them, when you can sell salt substitutes with less Sodium in them here! What, the NaCl has half an atom of Na now? Before you think Im a moron, lemme assure you they use some compound without Na to say that Na is almost N/A in this substitute.) Back in HomeLand, apart from multiplying the number of newborns, the morons arent really handing their money on a platter. Of course, there is more money going round here, than back home, too, which helps. But, I think Im willing to fight that stubborn disbelieving attitude and make the morons back home turn around sometime and dish it out to me.



Number 3...Awesome sports cars! Whatever you do, you cant get the variety of sports cars they have in StrangeLand back in HomeLand. I absolutely went berserk when I saw the big Hummer on the roads here! Yeah, they are gas guzzlers and not environment friendly, but they are military design jeeps dude! Never seen something as astounding in my life. For now, check out their website - HUMMER!

Number 4...Open Society. Yeah, Ive been the one whos been concerned about this society being far too open. I still stand by that. However, when I compare that to the one we have back in HomeLand, I realise that all one needs to do is find a middle ground between the two. One where parents still have a say about how their kids are brought up and in what environment, and they can make sure they inculcate the right attitude and values in them. This is the part that the culture in HomeLand does have.

The part it can do without is where the society plays a big role in deciding how parents bring their kids up, what rules they enforce on their kids. If a guy is seen hanging out with a girl, the girl is labelled with a 'bad character' tag (which is as good as saying that the milk carton in the fridge is past its expiry date, and its as easy to say that too). And in a nation where marriages are mostly arranged with the mutual consent of mainly the parents first and then, the actual marrying couple, it is of prime importance for a girl to maintain a squeaky clean image (like me! although I dont need one, cos im a guy!) so that she isnt rejected just because too many people have been talking about having seen her hanging out with guys too often. Yuck! Makes me sick this ridiculous concept. The guys she hangs out with, on the other hand, are totally innocent, as they say in my land (doodh ka dhula - One cleaned with milk, supposed to be enchanting in the old days, but I would die of the stench of milk if you did that to me). They can move around doing what pleases them, and then solely based on their income they earn or the money their ancestors hand down, go ahead and demand the woman of their choice - one with good nature, culinary skills, one who can walk with charm, sing with pride (they sometimes do make wud-be brides walk and sing, ok, as a pre-nuptial test) and of course, one who is utterly beautiful so that he can take her to parties and be the envy of friends. Its still not balanced this world, when it comes to equality for men and women. Sad to see really.

A woman still is the one to make most sacrifices, be it with her career or with the guy she loves. Parents still make sure that the girl marries where they want her to be, oblivious to the fact that she may wanna marry someone else. A girl and a guy together means only one thing - they are never friends (platonic relationship? Whats that?), never brother and sister. A guy is always more adventurous, and brash. He wouldnt give a damn about what others think, about his parents opinions when it comes to marrying someone he loves, about moving around with anyone he likes to hang out with. It is supposedly a lot easier for a girl to tear apart the "Welcome" doormat outside her house (more correctly, her parents house), than it is for a guy, cos hes always forgiven, sometimes even overlooked. Thank God I was born a male! But its not all that rosy (I need a manly flower for this metaphor, cauliflowery?). I cant move around hand-in-hand with my girl without evoking unapproving glares. I cant sit and chat with a female friend openly very often cos people would assume Im her boyfriend. Heck, I cant even treat a girl like a sister, something Ive always yearned for. If one of my dearest aunts, someone whos cared for me from the day I was born, wants to treat me like a son, she cant. Everywhere, the society steps in to show whos the boss. You are either in or you're out. And if you wanna stay in, you play by their rules.

Yeah, I have finally brought out something I seriously hate about HomeLand. Better too open as it is here, than oppressively closed as back home. I wish I could do something about it, but I can only make my own stand, express my opinions, and stand by what I believe is right. In the meanwhile, the people who form this society will carry on spreading their menace, no amount of education seems to change their closed mindset. In Bon Jovi's words - Keep The Faith, cos (in my words) there is a turn up ahead somewhere and everything is gonna be just right, like the chocolate chip cookie from Famous Amos!