Rocking Start - In Excess

Perception. Plain, untainted, innocent. A common human trait. Even when we have no knowledge whatsoever about something, our brain doesn’t leave a void in our memory cells. There’s something it always cooks up, out of nothing.

Well, it is no more truer (if that’s even a word) anywhere else than in this StrangeLand. The folks here are renowned for having apathy toward knowledge about foreign lands, foreign people and the works, and are famously represented by a President who regularly comes up with fodder for the hungry media when he’s caught as confused as a toddler in a strip joint (One of my favourite Sidhuisms this one!). And this isn’t my view here, its something I have known, but has been reaffirmed by comments from the locals.




I didn’t have to wait long for my enlightenment to begin. I started discovering this from the first day at work here. I was in the land where Rock and Roll took its first lil steps. And I totally wanted to see a rock show by a real kick-*** band in the time that I’m here (which was seemingly short then, not anymore, boohoo). I asked one of the guys, whether he’s planning to go to the OzzFest which was to rock a neighbouring town in 2 weeks’ time. And immediately, 3 guys pop out of their cubicles and rush toward mine with expressions clearly indicating I had blasphemed. One goes – “Did you say Ozzfest? Cos I think I heard Ozzfest.” I went – “Yeah, I must have said Ozzfest, if you heard Ozzfest. But, you know what? I did actually mention Ozzfest.” (One of my stupid attempts at a nervously stuttered joke. No one noticed though, their minds were still grappling with the fact that they had heard an Indian say Ozzfest.). “You mean the show where Ozzy Osbourne plays right?”. “Yeah, unless you have a festival for kids where there are numerous stagings of ‘The Wizard of Oz’.” (By this time, Im on a roll with my stupid jokes, cos well, no one’s actually listening!). “You mean to say Indians listen to this stuff?”. “What did you think? We are tribals, and we dance with sticks??”


A few days later. People are surprised I can handle English as a spoken language with as much ease as a stenographer typing on a typewriter. (You know when she’s so good she doesn’t need to look at the keys while typing away, and all that. If that’s the best metaphor I could come up with, I suck!). “I would have thought Indians would have a hard time with English, cos you know, they must not be teaching that in school.” Well, maybe I went to the wrong school then, cos I have been learning English since my first day at school. Another classic one coming up. “Are you a Hindu?”. “Yeah, I am”. “Oh is that why you said you speak Hindi at home?” “Yes, that’s true, but only if you speak American at home.”

I know Im being harsh here, but I expected people of StrangeLand to know about my country atleast as much as I do about their StrangeLand. Maybe that’s simply cos they don’t have as many relatives in India, as I have in StrangeLand. I wonder why our schools took the pain of teaching us about the American Revolution in History. Im damn sure, folks here haven’t read about Gandhi, although I know the contributions of people like Jefferson and Washington.

Well, lemme just go on meandering again. This blog no longer has any meaning, just a list of anecdotes. I was talking with the lady at the reception, and we were discussing the Tsunami that hit Asia in December last year (cos you know Katrina was in the news, well the only thing in the news to be more correct, and now Rita’s coming in a few hours!). This huge monster of a guy walks in and heard me mention Sri Lanka. He goes, “Is Sri Lanka a country? I thought its an island.” Huh?? Can’t islands be nations? Hasn’t he heard of island nations? We simply laughed it off.

Well, now these things hit me everyday. “You know the apparel stores here cover acres and acres of area.” “I know, they are called malls.” “How do you know?” “We have those!”. “Well, the theaters here are so big, they have 10-12 screens.” “Multiplexes” “Yes, how..”

My roomie has been in the US for 8 years now, and although he’s from Sri Lanka, that doesn’t stop him from getting surprised either. “Man, I wonder who this guy is. He keeps turning up everywhere she goes” “Oh, he’s Carrie Bradshaw’s ex-long-term boyfriend. One she wanted to marry” “Whose boyfriend?” “The character Sarah Jessica Parker plays” “You get this in India?” “These are reruns my dear friend.” “But, isn’t that amount of sex talk taboo?” “Well, we don’t need to talk! We love listening to these girls do the talking!” …. “What is this nonsense? Why are they singing rolling stones?” “Rock Star INXS” “What?” “Well, INXS is choosing their new band member, and they have made the competition a kind of a reality show thingy.” “How ..”

Well, the playing field has evened out now. People around me know what to expect from me. I have seen most television shows StrangeLand has to offer. I am a big fan of Rock music, especially the heavier stuff and Iron Maiden is one band I want to hear like crazy. (Too bad they couldn’t make it to the Ozzfest here). There’s a lot of stuff I don’t know about, and that is now common knowledge too, like college football, NFL, baseball (actually my lack of knowledge here surprised them more than what I knew about. “You’ve never seen a football game?”). I totally think there are perceptions I had about this country that have been proven wrong too, but Im not gonna talk about that! Cos this is not about my perceptions! Nah, but seriously, as much as this amused me, I soon realized it is human nature, but something that certainly expresses itself in a more profound way here. Cos people in StrangeLand never keep opinions to themselves. True Freedom of Speech, they tell me.