A Lazy Brand of Leadership

When things go wrong on your team, when emotions come to a boil, how do you react? 

 Do you single out individuals? Do you start demanding answers? Or do you first take the time to understand how things went wrong before you single out or demand answers? Tread carefully, because this is what will define you as a leader.

If there is one trait that goes straight to the heart of what defines a strong leader, it is empathy. Empathy is the one trait that strikes an emotional cord between the leader and their teams. You don’t need to be socially connected to your team as a leader to practice empathy, because as it so happens, we are wired to be empathetic from the day we are born. As Simon Sinek points out in Leaders Eat Last, empathy is central to our survival as a species since the days when we were hunting and foraging as cave people. Without empathy binding our tribes, humanity as we know it would have never emerged.

A typical response to the need for empathising with your team members is to shy away, because most of us are uncomfortable dealing with emotions, especially in a professional setup. One possible reason is that we believe empathising requires developing a special bond with your fellow employee. This cannot be further from the truth. In most cases, empathising is really just as easy as these 8 steps -

1. Sense the emotional turmoil the fellow employee is undergoing. Are they angry, or just irritated? Do they feel disappointed, or let down? 
2. Record your observations about their emotional state by confirming. “I sense you are gravely disappointed”. 
3. Wait as this opens the door for a conversation. If the fellow employee backs off and denies this emotional state, you back off as well. If instead they agree or clarify their emotional state, you have a foot in the door.
4. Guess, based on what you might already know situationally, what might be behind this state of mind. Make sure this is an educated guess. “Is it because you expected a greater reward for the work you have put in?”
5. Converse so you either affirm your guess or lead toward the reasons behind this state of mind. If nothing else works, try - “Can we talk about what has led you to be so gravely disappointed?”
6. Relate to those reasons to help your fellow employee accept the turmoil they are going through. “I can see how this might have hurt you deeply”. Accepting emotions allows one to realise they are human. It allows them to stop fighting those emotions and move toward resolutions.
7. Understand how we got here. There is usually a chain of events leading to this particular reaction. Somewhere in that chain, lies the crux of the problem.
8. Resolve to work toward a solution that works for everyone. At times, the resolution is not obvious and requires further break-out discussions. "Give me some time to get other perspectives on this." On other occasions, there is no need to solve anything because empathising already led to the right frame of mind to help this person solve it themselves. 

When we watch 3-year-olds sense emotions and empathise with their irate parents, there is no reason why we as adult leaders cannot do the same with our stressed-out teams. When it’s really so straightforward, and really so natural for most of us, not practising empathy to understand before acting, is just lazy.

Lessons from a Daily Commute

I drive to and from work for around an hour and a half each day - usually on my motorcycle - on the chaotic roads of Chennai surrounded by aggressive drivers competing for every inch of space. I tried to draw parallels between the chaos I witness on the roads and the journey of a typical startup in the chaos of market forces. My personal goals on the road are much the same as that of a startup - survive, reach your destination in shape and never relax until you get there.


Photo courtesy: https://www.flickr.com/photos/jace/65091602 under Creative Commons

This is a brief journal of the startup lessons I thought one can draw from such a commute.

Keep Safe Distance

That common sense adage is not just a good safety tip to protect you from ramming into the car in front. It also ensures you can see beyond that car in front of you. Do more than just chase the leader. Anticipate the widening road and rev up to glide past. Spot the buffalo strolling across to block the leader, and swerve away to jump ahead yourself. None of this is possible if you spend your energies staring at the tail lights of the one you chase.

Respect Privacy

 On the bustling roads that take you to work, often it is faster to jump into by-lanes and bypass peak time traffic on busy intersections. These by-lanes are lined by the homes of people who chose to live away from it all. Respect their privacy and avoid honking loud or racing too fast, lest speed breakers spring up through complaints from the residents. Milk your new-found advantage, but not at the expense of your users and their privacy.

Learn to Give Way

There are the obvious occasions where you have to pull up to one side to let the ambulance breeze past. No one likes a jerk, so just do it. Then there are the less obvious occasions where blocking someone in a super hurry might not be the best thing to do. If the chasing car rams into you, you are the jerk competing unfairly. If the passing car overspeeds to oblivion, you are the sagacious plotter who always knew. When you must block to compete, be tactful and look competitive!

Stay Lean, Stay Agile

Potholes. Patch up jobs after overnight cabling work. Stray animals looking for food. Sand and stones overflowing from a road side construction project. An idiot coming at you from the wrong side. How else do you dodge these challenges but by remaining agile? The swerving and slaloming is easier if you are also on a lean machine. Maybe that is why I prefer a motorcycle rather than a car to take me to work.

The typical Indian commute is never far from chaos. What other startup lessons can you draw from your daily commute?

An Aggravated Customer is an Opportunity

Every business has a human dimension - it must because all businesses eventually serve humans. This human dimension best comes to life when the business meets the human who is paying up for the service offered. When the human paying for the service is not very pleased with what they receive in return, we have an aggravated customer.

Too often, businesses tend to accept the aggravated customer as a natural side-effect of running a business - something that needs to be dealt with - because the show must go on. Businesses that look at an aggravated customer as a problem are missing out on a huge opportunity.

Here is an alternate perspective on receiving an aggravated customer.

Rejoice! 

You have a customer! Someone actually believed you had something worthwhile to offer and signed up. You must be doing something right. This calls for a celebration, followed by an appreciation of what you did do well so far.

They Hung Around!

The customer didn't simply walk over to your competition. Or just abandon the whole idea of leveraging your unique offering. There was something worthwhile, other things they believe can be fixed, a promise of better returns in the future - they hung around hanging on to that hope. Don't kill their belief. Reach out to them, now!

Learn!

If you care to listen, they will share. Patiently filter out the abuse, the frustration, and dig deep with them.

Empathize. Relate. What might be unique to their circumstances? You might just realize a whole new customer group existed you were never even aware of.

Understand. Confirm. What would they like to be taken care of? You might draw parallels with other problems you've seen and start seeing patterns.

Offer. Solve. What might be a possible resolution? You might just develop a new offering within your business - something someone might be willing to pay for.

You actually found someone who will give feedback voluntarily. Someone to learn from about your offering. Someone to bounce ideas off. Someone who dearly cares about what they deserve from you. Businesses would normally kill for that opportunity.

Celebrate your Aggravated Customer

Other businesses will brush the customer off by pointing the customer at their terms and conditions. They will try to teach them how to experience their business, to learn to accept their flaws. They will hide behind their vast number of customers who never grumbled, and convince themselves they are as good as they can be. You will be different. You will treat your aggravated customer as an opportunity, and treat them with the respect an intelligent, paying customer deserves. After all, they made the smart choice to choose you.

Note to: VFS, I have some ideas for how you could improve your services while making more money at the same time. You missed your opportunity.

When Premium is Wrong

It's all around us - pay more to get treated like a king - the Premium Business Model. Pay more, arrive later, jump ahead in line, spread yourself out, get a shower while others stink. Premium lounges. Premium seating. Premium visa appointments. Premium parking. Hell, there's even such a thing as Premium darshan at temples - which is borderline discriminatory - but we'll let it pass. I have nothing against the concept. You have it, you like to splash it, and keep yourself in relative comfort - sure, knock yourself out.

Despite the premium everything, humanity persists, and must persist over everything else. Businesses eventually have to be just, because being humane and considerate is the ultimate customer experience. Imagine suggesting that people with physical disabilities should purchase premium to jump the line. Or parents with twin wailing, tired, hungry kids must buy premium to get served first. An airline could say "Just travel when you can walk yourself" or "Just travel when your kids are all grown up", but they won't - it's bad business.


If you directly serve consumers, pay close attention to where your premium model starts differentiating on humanitarian features, as opposed to material features. Because being inhuman through a premium model is bad business.

Note to: VFS Chennai, where 1 year old infants are held with their parents for 3 hours for a Visa appointment, without being allowed to carry infant food inside.

Persistence wins Mannequins

As a visual medium, cinema continues to capture our imagination, bind us into a story and take us on journeys we never thought possible - all in under 3 hours. As a visual medium, cinema also silently influences the masses, sometimes consciously, and other times subconsciously. That influence is both a powerful boon and a dreadful bane. While I don't insist on only making cinema to preach goodness into the people, I do have two sincere requests to those who make our Indian movies.

It is 2016 - please weed these out of your movies already.

If you persist, she will say yes

It's simple. You like a girl? Just keep pestering her. Stalking her. Get to her friends via other friends. Sing songs to her. On the streets. In college. On the phone. Never give up. Prey on her mind. Eventually, she'll be yours.

Every "hero" you can think of, has portrayed in reel life what would amount as "eve teasing" in real life. Think Shah Rukh in Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge. Salman Khan in Wanted. Govinda in almost every movie.

Please put an end to this rigmarole. People die because the idea catches on. 

Mothers or Models

Struggling to list a handful of movies where a strong female character, or even a realistic female character was portrayed? Producers do have massive challenges reaching the masses in a patriarchal society. Woe betide the one who puts a woman in the forefront. Who would pay to watch that? 

Since I promised not to force movies to preach to the masses, I will stick to the Model problem. Male actors don't really need to look young or hot. They just need to be good actors. Why do we have a different bar for females? Like the beautiful landmarks songs are shot in, the hills and forests and oceans in the background, female actors only need to dress smart and look pretty, and carry home a paycheck. 15 minutes since the last song? Time to roll in our pretty thing. Too much drama and seriousness? Time to roll in a hot one.

Can we please stop using women as mannequins? They are real people. As real as the men who are portrayed in those same movies. And have their own stories to share. 

Please put an end to this rigmarole. You certainly don't want your daughter to think she is worthless because she isn't pretty enough.

PS: Hat tip to Siddharth for breaking the mould.

We've been selling a terrible dream in our films for long. That any man can get the woman he wants just by wanting her enough. Must change!

— Siddharth (@Actor_Siddharth) July 17, 2016

 

Happily Ever After

Marry, or stay single? Get hooked for life, or retain your freedom forever? Is it worth turning your nomadic existence into a three-legged race?

Some endure, others fall by the wayside (Courtesy: Wikimedia)

I once received sound advice on this matter that I feel altered the course of my life. I believe more people should be exposed to that line of thinking before they make up their own mind.

Are you a friend magnet?

It all boils down to one simple question - are you confident that no matter where you are, what your circumstances are, how old you are, you can always surround yourself with friends. Because here is a fact of life - friends come, and then they move on in life. Or you decide to move on. You have to make new ones all over again. If you stay single but your friends don't, you are competing with their families for their time.

Loneliness is always around the corner. Unless, of course, you find yourself so many friends the odds of your being alone approach zero. And remember, you must be capable of this mighty feat under all circumstances. Congratulations - you have now defeated one of humanity's greatest anxieties!

Mission Possible

Now, if you are one of the rare few who has already found their purpose in life, and are willing to dedicate everything you have to that purpose - time, money, life itself - congratulations! No, really. You don't need this advice. You don't fear loneliness. You accept your vulnerabilities. You are single-minded in what you want to spend your life on, because you realize there is no finish line to your purpose.

For everyone else, what my friend's father said is worth considering. A marriage is not about living happily ever after. It is about sharing your vulnerabilities with a companion. Within a socially acceptable bond. If  you're lucky and you both strive hard enough, you each also have a best friend for life.

So what will you choose for yourself?

A Highway To Hell

Telecom operators control our access to the Internet, but have recently started to challenge the openness and the content-agnostic nature of the world wide web claiming it affects their bottom-line. Should we care? Here's my take on making sense of all the #NetNeutrality fuss using an analogy.

The State and Central governments in India have long been unable to sufficiently fund road and highway-building projects in the country that are key to connecting producers to consumers and disparate communities together. The solution they arrived at was to invite private entrepreneurs to build this infrastructure on a Public-Private-Partnership model so that the projects did not wane for want of public money. In return, the private investors were allowed to charge a toll for all traffic that passed through the roads they setup. Just so we are clear, the roads were still defined as public property. The builders were only allowed to milk their investment for a finite period, usually between 5 to 15 years.

The results are clearly visible around us. Some of the most modern highways we are proud of today were built using this model. Travel times were cut, fuel savings were achieved, value was delivered to both producers and consumers of goods and services who previously could not connect with as much ease.

Toll Plaza Ahead

When you pull over at a toll booth, you pay based on the size of your vehicle. Cars pay less than SUVs which in turn pay less than trucks and buses would. The toll is defined to tax heavier vehicles and ones that can carry more load more than the lighter ones. Sounds fair, right?

One fine day, an established road-preneur starts wondering how they could make more money out of their investments. They look at statistics about the kind and count of vehicles that pass through their toll-booths. "30% heavy trucks! I wonder what they carry?" A little more investigation reveals that most trucks are carrying raw materials like fruits, vegetables, minerals, sand from producers to consuming industries. These industries then ship their finished goods out, some of which again pass through the toll-booths.

The Revelation

"Multi-million dollar companies would have no market or raw materials without my roads!".

This is when a smart, canny road-preneur hits upon a novel toll scheme. Tolls are charged not based on the size or load of the vehicles, but on what's inside them. People can travel for free. Cars and buses only have to pay a nominal fee - way less than what they are used to paying. 70% of the traffic is now elated! Essential goods can also ship for free - milk, medicines, vegetables, grain. How benevolent! Everything else will have to pay extra to be shipped past the booth. Iron ore, sand, cement, steel, food products, dairy products. This is how the road-preneur gets a share of the gravy train the industries around the roads have generated.

The New Order

Industrialists start to get apprehensive. Their production costs are shooting up. Some distributors won't take their goods anymore. The road-preneur senses another opportunity. For a handsome price, a good producer can ship their goods past the toll-booth to distributors for free, forever!

Not all industrialists can afford the handsome price. Only the large ones can. Groceries have fewer selections on the shelves. Construction companies have to deal with cement and steel monopolies. Prices shoot up everywhere.

And then, the road-preneur decided to go too far. For an incredibly handsome price, trucks loaded with smuggled weed and cocaine would pass through free and hassle-free at that. Despite inspecting the contents of the truck, the toll-booth operators would turn a blind eye and not report this to the local authorities.

Up In Arms

Roads and highways are a public property, no matter who constructs them. The Internet is the same. A property for all of humanity.

Road-preneurs were given the land they built on, which was again public property. Telecom operators rent the public spectrum to build their infrastructure on. They lay cables under our lands.

For their hard work and enterprise, they will be rewarded with a means to extract a profit by tolling the traffic on their roads. This is as far as we can allow them to go. Charge by load. Not by content. Not by clout. Or by any other metric that makes the roads more accessible to one over the other. Telecom operators are also handsomely rewarded for connecting us to the Internet. Charge me by data. Any further, and you risk becoming a social evil.

Take Action today. Don't let TRAI be bullied by the vested interests of telecom operators. Save The Internet.