Talking Morals

December 18. Copenhagen. After 12 days of verbal warfare, intense debates, poor nations shifting blame on the rich, and multiple attempts at cutting deals, there was no consensus arrived at regarding emission cuts agreed by members attending the United Nations Climate Change Conference, 2009. Despite allegations of moral debt against the developed nations, the G-7, led by the strong resistance from the US, stuck to their view of sharing in a larger way the burden of solving the climate change crisis.


All neutrals, the scientists and environmentalists who care about the global climate change crisis, are concerned this could be how the papers report the failure of another attempt by the United Nations to broker a deal amongst nations on an issue of global concern. All the signs during the build-up to the conference also seem to vindicate their fears.

The Haves against the Have-Nots
The climate change debate is unique in the sense that it has the potential to turn the tables on the rich and powerful nations that have decided, or at least guided, the fate of the billons across the world for decades. For once, the attributes of wealth and technological prowess don't enhance one's resume when sitting at a table debating global issues. If anything, it only puts you on the back-foot right away.

"The Haves" here are of course, the developed nations of this world, that have steamed ahead - nah, smoked ahead - on the back of the Industrial and technological revolution in terms of economic prowess, without much recourse to the costs therein, as it now emerges, of a rampant and rapacious over-use of fossil fuels.

"The Have Nots" are the nations that missed this train, either due to problems in local governance or under the clutches of colonization, and are still striving to alleviate basic problems for their citizens that the Haves have long addressed. While a few of these Have Nots are marching to the top of the emission and economic charts, the fact remains that they still belong in this latter category simply because the majority of their populace lacks access to basic needs.

Two Extremes
In the US, I have seen personally from close quarters, the total disdain toward consumption of energy. While in Pune, we would turn off monitors, and lights and computers when we left for home, I would sigh in disgust at all the lights left turned on in the offices in Austin when people left for the weekend. While 2-wheelers and bicycles and bullock-carts jostle for a share of the road in Chennai, huge mini-trucks and SUVs and sports cars with a single occupant sped across the roads of Houston. Excessive demand for energy, has maintained energy costs low in the US, leading to a more ravaging misuse of greenhouse gas emitting fuels.

The poor nations are watching themselves hit by more floods than ever, bizarrely early melting of snow, onset of droughts in places that have never witnessed one for centuries, lashing typhoons and cyclones with a higher frequency than ever. One show to watch for real-life views into how major cities in the developing world are facing a sudden incidence of such problems is the BBC's Hot Cities series.

Why is it that the profligacy of the rich, is affecting the poor on the other side of the world? Because in our nationalism and selfishness, we easily forget that the Earth is an inter-linked, living-breathing, intricate system, and no one part can be unconnected from the rest. To understand this better, one must watch the brilliant documentary-movie "Home"

Skeptics of global warming thrive on statistics showing a fall in the average global temperature. But, hard facts from the lives of people who have lived in the same place for generations speak louder than numbers to me.

Moral Obligations
Some numbers speak loud enough though. Per capita emissions of carbon dioxide show US and Australia as the large industrialised nations that have been on the top for years. A more general list of per capita emissions of greenhouse gases tells the same story. The US accounts for 20% of global emissions. Granted China is ranked first on this last list at 21%, Chinese emissions have only grown rapidly in the last decade or so.

For a nation that claims to be driven by morals, and with Barack Obama, a Nobel Peace prize winner at the helm, one that increasingly sees itself as an idol and a system to emulate, the US seems to be falling way short when it comes to the issue of climate change. Forcing democracy across the world, which is an oxymoron by the way, claiming to punish war crimes by dictators, saving people from tyrants, the world waits to see what the US will do this time, for a crisis that seemingly affects everyone we know of. All this, while the climate change bill wrangles its way through the houses of representatives in Washington, D.C. with the world hoping it makes it through in time for Copenhagen.

Time To Act
The time for negotiations and arm-twisting is gone. The only thing nations can do now is act, and act fast. It isn't easy to cut emissions and still maintain living standards, which is why efforts must start sooner rather than later. For once, when the world really needed a leader, the US doesn't seem likely to step up to the mark, instead becoming the major stumbling block with the economic crisis acting as an alibi. Developing nations, facing the brunt of the climate change problems, are forced to deal with them already. Will the rich nations be humbled and shamed by the efforts of the poorer nations? Or will status quo preside and small non-obligatory deals be the only outcome from Copenhagen?

The Truths and Myths of Slumdog

Never in my living days have I seen such interest in a movie based in India. The hype is unbelievable and it would not surprise me if it nabbed the Oscar for Best Director, besides the mostly certain nod for A.R.Rehman for his brilliant musical score. But has it really rung the right bells, tickled the right feathers, fluffed the right pillows with the messages it has sent out?

It's been a month now since I saw the movie. All the blurry images and the exciting sequences should have faded, and what's left must be indelible enough for a trustworthy review of this question. I watched this movie in New Jersey with a fairly dominant Caucasian crowd, and a few Indians (besides my relatives) seated in the last few rows. The "white folk" waited until the credits rolled to a close - each one of them - and applauded to no one in particular. The "desis" sneaked out before the lights turned on, clearly embarrassed by what had been depicted!


Separating The Grain From The Chaff

• All Indians are fluent English speakers, albeit with an accent! - Myth. The movie was made for the Western audience. Clearly an overdose of sub-titles would have ruined the experience.


• Primary schools run by the government primarily teach Classic English literature including The Three Musketeers. Myth. Primary government-run schools are lucky to have regular attendance from teachers, let alone students, and Three Musketeers is not a staple of the curriculum. Another of those facets palatable to a Western theme.


• Slum-dwellers practice open defecation. Truth. Sadly, most of them do not even have the odd door to hide them from public view.


• People stop what they are doing to watch "Who wants to be a millionaire". Truth. The Indian version of WWTBM actually reported the highest TRP ratings ever, as high as an Indo-Pak cricket match, for weeks together.


• Bad guys grab kids off the street and mutilate them, before putting them to work as beggars. Truth. It is no coincidence that 4 out of 5 child beggars I encountered in Mumbai were either blind or handicapped. The occasional girl also carried a baby "brother" for added sympathy-value.


• A Mercedes luxury car can be unscrewed apart in a mere matter of minutes. Truth. Oh yeah, that can definitely be done with a team of skilled hands! In some parts of Mumbai, a stolen car is dismantled even before a police report has been filed.


• A band of Hindu activists attacked pockets of Muslim population with swords. Truth. Of course, there was a tit-for-tat too.


• Commuters don't give a damn when a bunch of bad guys drag a woman off the trains. Truth. Too often has this proved to be true in a city like Mumbai, where everyone always has something more important to do.

It's All True!

When most of what we saw in the movie was true - and most people who have lived in Mumbai will testify to that - then why are so many Indians raging at this depiction? One reason is that the upwardly mobile and social elite are now shamed because the truth is out about the slums and poverty of the country, which is embedded even in one of the biggest cities of the world like Mumbai. To add to their misery, the direction and cinematography of the movie has been so colourful and fast-paced that it has got people hooked and sold them the story a dime a dozen. The story of the "real" India.

If we keep the hollow pride of these elite aside, one can hear the voices calling for moderation, for the complete picture. Although the movie only hinted at the glowing side of a progressive nation, the focus clearly was on the poverty, and the indomitable spirit of a slum child to rise above it.


The Whole Is The Sum Of The Parts?

No one can blame these critics either. The West has always loved its cliches. 20 years ago, India was a nation of moustachioed snake charmers, "turbanised" rope tricksters and beggars. Today, it is the nation of back-office tech geeks, call center operators and beggars. The Western media has been awash with stories of the roaring Indian Tiger and the fiery Chinese Dragon. I have had numerous personal experiences of the latent exasperation in Strangeland that boils up at success stories from South Asia. In a way, stories of poverty, true as they may be, gives them a much vaunted sense of vindication, that finally their suspicions and doubts have found a base to latch on to. No wonder then that the book of the year (Arvind Adiga's Booker prize winner The White Tiger) and most likely the movie of the year, had poverty and deprivation in India as their central theme.

To the world - Do realise that no single movie can show you the complete picture. More than half of India's populace is poverty-stricken, but not everyone is miserable. Nor is every other person in tech-support. It is a country of financial extremes, visible both in big cities and the remotest villages. You have to see it to understand it!

To fellow Indians - Stop caring what the world thinks anymore. That was Mahatma Gandhi's way too. Let our actions speak for themselves. If this leads to a little complacency from the rest of the world, that wouldn't hurt now, would it?

Reactive, Or Proactive?

It was the 26th of November, and I had a day off work as I was flying out from Austin toward Newark to spend the Thanksgiving weekend with relatives from Mom's side. The news scene was calm when I left home. 6 hours later as I land in Newark shielded from the real world in the confines of my airplane, my sister calls up to tell me there has been a dramatic change, and looking at how the events unfolded since, it is clear not much will be the same again.

At the airport, people watched as CNN splashed pictures of a burning century old Taj hotel, by the side of which I have walked so many times, but never ventured in. Reports of a massive operation by infiltrators who breached the shores of India's financial capital, my home for over 17 years, using boats, poured in as I stared in shock. CST railway terminus, which was where we would get off to go watch a movie at Sterling or Regal, was splattered with bodies and bloody trails of cold-blooded murder. Of all the places attacked by the cowards, the brutal mindless slaughter at CST where 2 men with guns simply sprayed bullets and lobbed grenades into the 10PM crowd, hit me the hardest, although the Indian media begs to differ.

Global Exposure

Living in Strangeland at this time gives me a different perspective of the reaction to the attacks, one from the same country that faced its own attack on its financial hub on 9/11, and responded in kind, and more. The widespread coverage on CNN, all day long, over local US news really is unprecedented. It surprised me that they deemed it important enough to cover the story as it unfolds, given the apathy of Strangeland toward anything that does not concern themselves directly.

It was clear then that the terrorists had achieved their motives. Their blasts were loud enough to be heard all across the globe. They targeted foreigners to ensure the international media paid attention. Not many international businesspersons will see India as a secure place anymore, at least for a short time. Strangeland tried to find a link back to itself - the epicenter of global interest - as it always does. Theories tying the attacks to the change brought about by election of Obama were thrown around, but not for long. When the links to Pakistan were loud and clear, there was only one voice - Pakistan is a rogue state and at the crossroads of all terrorist activity in the world today.

Local Excesses

It is understandable that people are stunned, hurt and angry. I plead guilty of belonging to the same club myself for a while. People want action, immediate results and solutions, a boost to the confidence of walking freely again in their own streets. Television screens and newspapers and internet blogs are awash with nationalist fervour demanding instant karma, and booing the government for its inaction. The only problem is that there is no quick fix to this madness. It's hard to realise this when one is possessed by hatred, and emotions blur all sense of reason.

All it took for me, is my brother to ask a simple question - "So you think a war is the solution?". Going on a hunt to find and, to use Bush-speak, "smoke-out" the perpetrators of such violence will only make us exactly like these terrorists themselves. And who is to say this will have achieved anything, other than a false feeling of security? It can only breed more hatred against India, which most people in the world today see as a peaceful nation.

Lessons From The Recent Past

One only needs to look at Strangeland and their reaction after 9/11. Two heavily funded wars, thousands of soldiers lost, almost a trillion dollars burnt, economy in ruins, and what is the state of terror in the world today? Yes, the American shores haven't been breached since, but clearly, the war on America has moved elsewhere - Iraq. The deaths of thousands of innocent civilians in Iraq and Afghanistan do no good to the American image in the world - especially the Islamic population. How can Strangeland claim to be better today than the enemies it fights?

Einstein once said, although not related to this context, that "Problems cannot be solved at the same level of thinking that created them". How can we stoop down to the same violent tactics and mindless slaughter, in the quest to eliminate terror, that the terrorists themselves apply? Who is to say that since we claim to have better intentions and seek the greater good, we are more righteous in our actions? Is there a way to leave all the innocent people, who want nothing to do with these activities, out of this?

The Indian Way

There is only one way to tackle the problems India faces - the Indian Way. That is the way we fought for our freedom, and that is the attitude that ensures billions today still look up to India for its peaceful outlook. Just last week my cab driver from Ethiopia smiled back at the mention of my Homeland, because of his image of the country, and his interactions with his teachers who came all the way from India to teach in his schools.

The Indian Way does not mean we turn over the other cheek and wait for the next slap. Its essence lies in the statement - "Despise the action, not the doer". The problem of terrorism cannot be solved by finding and eliminating all the people involved. That is just too simplistic. One has to locate and weed out all the sentiments that lead to such inhuman acts and try to address them at the same time that we take steps to locate the actual actors involved.

Of course, if a war is forced upon us, we will fight like we have 4 times before, to protect our sovereignty. But, a war initiated as a remedy is not the solution, ever, to any problem. If anything, it sows the seeds of more problems for the future. With India's economy booming, and the world watching, do we want to bankroll a war and take ourselves back by 20 years? Won't a war really be a victory for those nasty terrorists who ploughed through Mumbai? The attack on the financial hub of India, will eventually have then led to its economic demise.

To sum it all up, here's a little incident. At a comedy club in New York, a few days after 26/11, the host found me, an Indian, in the audience and said "I can't understand why, when there are a billion of you guys, you don't just go over and kick Pakistan's ass". Everyone laughed. But we know the answer, right? Cos we are not Strangeland.

Destination Moon

Another date was just added to the long list that Indians like to remember. Along with the birthdays of great leaders and deities, historic and mytholigical events, 22nd October 2008 will hopefully be another date that brings a glow to every proud Indian's face. For on this day, India joined the elite club of nations that have sent a mission to the Moon. Chandrayaan-I (which literally means "vehicle for the moon"), at the time of writing this, is in an orbit around the earth with an apogee of around 76,000 Kms, which will be increased in 3 more bursts to put it into the grasp of the Moon's gravity and subsequently in an orbit around the Moon.

The Moon? Why not Mars?

This was the first question shot back at me as I disclosed this well-kept secret to colleagues in Strangeland. Not surprised at the obliviousness to activities outside their "well". However, good question.

When the "Cold War in Space" was going on between Strangeland and erstwhile USSR and they were racing to get to the Moon, Indian scientists were still literally in their diapers trying to launch rockets that breach the atmosphere. After all, we were a young nation recently freed off Colonial rule and grappling with the teething problems like poverty, population control, self-reliant economy, that we still fight to this day. The Indian Space Research Organisation (ISRO) began by launching weather and communication satellites using the launch-services of other nations, and gradually perfected the art of launching satellites themselves with the Polar Satellite Launch Vehicle (PSLV), indigenously developed over the years.



It is clear that for a nation that does not have a free flow of green bills to fund research, a small, less risky step to establish itself in the space fiefdom is better suited than to blast its way into the "We've been to Mars" club. Former president Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam, a revered national hero and scientist, also urged ISRO to shoot a probe to the moon and mark the silver soil with an Indian flag, anticipating a race in the near future to exploit the Moon's resources. After all, the responsibility to tend to almost a sixth of the world's population requires such forward thinking, doesn't it?

Does a moon mission feed the hungry?

One of the boiling controversies around the world has been whether the $86m spent on the Chandrayaan-I mission is criminal given the fact that over 200m children in India are undernourished. I am not sure if these are comments from self-righteous trolls from the West who think they have a handle on all their social ills. Maybe it's burning envy that leads to such comments. It is too naive to look at things in such a narrow perspective. With this argument, India should also abandon all the huge sums of money spent on any kind of welfare like education and first ensure children don't die hungry. Agreed the problem is severe, but space research and technological progress are not antithetical to welfare.

Studies in Strangeland have shown that the huge amounts spent on NASA have more than paid back on the investments in terms of technological spur, motivation, and introduction of new economies around the sector that feed off the scientific advancements. A few years ago, bright Indians graduating from prestigious institutes would look around for opportunities, and shrug their shoulders and fly abroad to greener pastures. How many of those will now be forced to think twice, and be motivated instead to join institutes in India?

As for the Indians who oppose the money spent on Chandrayaan-I, I only have this to say. Stop watching cricket, feeding the mammoth economy that spins money around the sport, and wastes resources including time and moolah. Stop overpaying the whole cricket system, from the players to the babus. Where is the national pride in that sport anyway, however hollow? How many more children can be fed by sacrificing futile cricket investments?

Strangeland, strange response

The one news article I caught on CNN related to India's mission betrayed yet again the jingoism required here in Strangeland to maintain high confidence in the face of despair. Announcing the mission to the viewers, the news item quickly moved on to China's (the new communist foe to observe and overcome) recent space achievements, and asked why the US has stopped its missions to the Moon at a time when everyone else seems to be on the bandwagon. It was finally wrapped with a chest-thumping cry - "Cos we've been there, done that, almost 40 years ago!". Strangeland is clearly wary of the Tiger and the Dragon.

Here's wishing everyone involved in the mission to the Moon - you make us proud!

Ebony and Ivory, Mars and Venus

My stint in Strangeland happens to coincide with one of the historic moments in Strangelandian history, and I get to witness first-hand some of the most remarkable events taking place as this nation tries to finally shed the image of an intolerant society when it comes to choosing the president. In one of my very early posts back in October 2005, I had ridiculed that the White House should really be renamed to the White Man House so that it becomes explicit who is allowed to become President of Strangeland.

Little was I to know that in less than 2 years since, both the words "White" and "Man" were about to be challenged like never before by Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. After Hillary's bitter acceptance of defeat, the Republican nominee John McCain, revived the interest she had generated in female voters by choosing Sarah Palin as his running mate. It is yet to be ascertained if at 72, McCain has the legs to run really, while Palin, having already announced herself as a "Hockey Mom" and "Pitbull" has made it clear for the record that she is willing and capable.

On The Stand

One thing that caught my eye was how the media is allowed - in fact they deemed it their right - to corner the candidates and put them on a pedestal dealing with all sorts of questions and responses on issues. In Homeland, in stark contrast, the politicians decide when and where they will speak to the mass public and what they will be willing to talk about. The media there is really no more than a pair of omni-present eyes and ears that notes every move and jots down every word they can get their hands on. We never get to know our leader up-close and personal. They are but a face behind the microphone, and it is upto us to sort through the truth from the unavoidable bag of lies.

Putting candidates on the stand brings out this other side which we don't see in rehearsed speeches written by stunningly skilled writers - responsiveness, reaction to questions and real issues without the luxury of peeking down on a piece of paper. I personally think that is very important to allow the voters to decide who they want to choose.

Foot-in-mouth, head-up-backside

Of course, one can only enjoy the obvious results of the reflex action tests that mediapersons put candidates through - the truths that slip out, the gaffes that they can't tie down. When that happens, hapless campaign managers have to come out and firefight to put the words into context and turn them on their head.

In this regard, I like to compare Palin to a mix of Govinda (MP from North Mumbai) and Laloo Prasad Yadav (Railway Minister in cabinet). When she calls herself one from the "small town" and "far away from the politics of Washington", I can only remember Govinda's election-winning catch-phrases like "Virar ka chokra". When she talks about her hunting and pets, memories of Laloo describing his morning chores involving milking the "bhains" inevitably shoot back. Who says Homeland politicians are obscure?



When it comes to lies, half-truths, dodging issues, walloping the opposing candidate, dirty scandalous tricks, I don't think Strangeland politics is far behind Homeland at all; only more transparent. Tons of TV shows on news channels and comedy networks pick up on these sly remarks and put them in perspective for all to see. For instance, John McCain is taped saying the "fundamentals of the economy are strong" and that he has no fears for it only 2 weeks before the Wall Street crash, when he then comes out to say "we are in the midst of the worst crisis" he has ever seen.

The debates

Another interesting aspect of the campaign here in Strangeland are the live, televised debates between the candidates. While the nation watches, the two of them fight it out for mass approval in 90 minutes of feverish argumentation. There are few better ways to analyse the candidates than simultaneously being able to weigh them against each other. Another advantage I am sure the voters in Homeland would love to be able to have. All we get are mass rallies, memorized lines and jingoistic slogans. A debate brings out the best and the worst in the candidate, shows you how strong they are, how smart they are, and how gracefully they can deal with heated discussions. I don't need to choose one of these candidates, so I simply enjoy the debates like only a Homelandian can.

In exactly one month's time, the ballot will be held and the verdict will be out. Hopefully, it will be the historic ballot that everyone looks forward to. As for Homeland, I really don't think it matters who wins. History shows that no matter who the President is in Strangeland, the foreign policy remains mostly along the same tangential - aggressive, self-serving and self-gratifying.

Select famous phrases from the candidates

"Do you know what the difference between a hockey mom and a pitbull is? It's Lipstick!" - Sarah Palin.

"Hillary Clinton is as qualified or more qualified than I am to be vice president of the United States of America. Quite frankly, it might have been a better pick than me." - Joe Biden.

"On this Memorial Day, as our nation honors its unbroken line of fallen heroes -- and I see many of them in the audience here today -- our sense of patriotism is particularly strong." - Barack Obama.

"It's easy for me to go to Washington and, frankly, be somewhat divorced from the day-to-day challenges people have." - John McCain.

"They're our next door neighbors and you can actually see Russia from land here in Alaska, from an island in Alaska." - Sarah Palin.

"As for that VP talk all the time, I'll tell you, I still can't answer that question until somebody answers for me what is it exactly that the VP does every day?" - Sarah Palin, before she was chosen to be the running mate.

"The role of the vice president is to break ties in the Senate and inquire daily into the health of the president." - John McCain.

Your Time Has Come

After months of world-wide protests and questions about health safety, the 2008 Beijing Olympics finally kicked off. And what a kick-off it turned out to be! For the Western world, so sure of their dominance with technology and culture and virtues and basically everything, the opening ceremony itself was a kick below the belt, a rude awakening.

The Rise Of The Dragon

Not that China hasn't grabbed attention over the last few years. Phenomenal population growth and hitting the billion mark, were soon followed by a successful control in birth rates. Of course, how the control was achieved may have a dubious side or two of its own. Which brings us to the second most popular Chinese coverage in the media - human rights abuse. Reports about the second child being snatched away from hapless parents, anti-communist or pro-Tibetan protests being squashed without notice and general forceful adherence to communist policies have hogged the international media and portrayed China as a fire-spitting Dragon. The largest number of criminal executions in the world anywhere doesn't get missed either.



The most popular Western media coverage of China though stems from fear, a realisation deep within about the coming of a superpower like none before, but one which no one wants to accept completely. Statistics proving China is now the "circuit-board" of the world, leading in electronics, and generally any sort of manufacturing, are ably matched by numbers showing disproportionate growth in GDP and wealth, and eventually political clout and military might that the Dragon now wields. Everyone is looking behind their backs.

Whatever the reason, one thing is for sure. From a virtual nobody, China is on the world's lips and thoughts every single day now. Their presence is not taken for granted anymore.

Icing On The Cake

Gone are the days where the West enjoyed centuries of technological superiority on the back of the Industrial Revolution. Now, most manufacturing takes place in East Asia. A popular tag on products in the stores in the US reads - "Designed in the US. Made in China" - as if to reassure where the brains lie. Nevertheless, the Chinese have not only minted money from their manufacturing exploits, but also inherited skills that help them master technology on their own.

What better way to signal your intentions and abilities to the world than the Olympic Opening Ceremony, while everyone on the planet is tuned in. The magnificent display filled the senses of the viewers and everyone must have been left with a gaping wide-open jaw. Anyone who still thought of China as the land of cheap labourers, will not dare to think that again. Lights, organisation of massive proportions, sounds, colours, shadow-plays and marvels of modern technology intermingled with varied sights that gave a glimpse into the country's five thousand year cultural history and variety. It was like saying - "We have always been around, long before any of you were civilized. Now, we are ready to take the stage."



Homeland, Take a Cue

It is widely said that the next coming would be that of India's. Homeland will soon be 61 years old - young enough to justify it's lag - but another nation whose time is almost here. After China, the Indian Tiger gets second-best media coverage in the West. But, it is not one of utter fear, but rather one of upheaval of the backward. A story of rags to riches, as opposed to lust for universal fiefdom.

I wonder how India will send its message out when it wants to announce to the world that there is a new kid on the block. History however, gives us enough clues. Homeland has never been boisterous. The messages are always subtle, and India has always preferred a gradual flowing change as opposed to a sharp transition. So eventually, I believe when its time comes, people will not be shocked but instead accept it as fate that awaited. However, I do hope there are a few little stunning moves in the midst. I anxiously look forward to the lunar-probe mission - Chandrayaan-1 - later this year. No one expected India to come this close to such a massive step, indigenously, only a few years after Independence. It's all been hush-hush, but when its time to blast off, I hope it isn't!


Fear Translates to Hate
A few months ago, I walked into a barbershop (hair saloon for the unconventional) in Strangeland. The media was whipping China's backside for toxic levels of lead in Chinese toys (80% of toys in the world are Chinese!) at the time. A mom was helping her 7 year old with his homework - an essay on toys - while she waited her turn. Seeing me walk in, she somehow felt like I needed chastising, and asked her son to read aloud what he had written. He read aloud - "I love playing with toys when I come from school. However, recently, I learnt it is not safe to play anymore. The Chinese toys are poisonous. China makes bad toys, and everything they make is bad. They should stop making things and we should stop buying from them." The mom gave him a mini-applause, both obviously needing a lesson in global economics, and of course, English essay writing. By the way, do I look like I am Chinese?

Stranger In A Strangeland - Part II

Another brave soul landed on the shores of Strangeland on April 6 last year, hoping the experience of working here will turn his career around. I must have surprised myself when events took their turn in such a mysterious manner to push me on that Air France flight to Strangeland, for my second, but extended, stint. Surprising because most people close to me know that I despised the idea of working here, and swore never to follow the Patel family troops to the land of opportunity. I have always maintained the haves are hypocrites who are certain the have-nots are simply either "not bright enough" or lazy, and that Strangeland is the outstanding example. Why would I want to work for them?

Yet, events like becoming a Computer Engineer, and then getting a Master's degree, joining the IT services industry, and ending up on the project I worked on have conspired to make me go against myself. After 1 year and 3 months, I felt it was time to take stock!

Why Am I Here?

The same reason why I am not a physicist or an astronomer today. Popular choice. I don't blame anyone, not my peers, not even myself. When I was 18, I somehow weighed up spending long years earning a PhD against starting to earn within 4 years in the IT industry, and the financial implications made sense. You just go with the flow after that. Working as a software engineer in India, it is only a matter of time before you get the chance to come down to Strangeland. Of course, you do need to be in the sweatshop business serving Strangelandians.

How Do I Feel?

Lonely.

Lonely because I miss my family and my friends from my student-life. Once you leave all this behind, you start to realise what they meant to you, and that you just took these things for granted. I feel damn lucky to have such friends as I once had in Kandivli, a bustling suburb stuck away in the crowds of Mumbai. In a way, what I never once experienced amongst my own for 24 years, I am now suddenly exposed to.

Confused.

The confusion arises from all those questions my idle mind is now starting to ask.

• 
  "What do you want to do with your life?"


• 
  "Is there any purpose to all that you do with your struggles at work and the daily chores?"


• 
  "Should I believe the Bhagavad Gita and blindly carry on my work, because there is nothing else to life other than fulfilling your purpose, your work (karma yoga)?"

Amused.

Low-rise skirts, shorts, tons of make-up, short-trim - all of these can be found in Homeland too. You just have to walk into a mall in one of the big cities. Yet there are things that amuse and surprise me everyday.

• 
  You see 4 in 5 women flaunting tresses that don't defy gravity and simply fall straight down in neat parallel lines. How many of those are natural!?


• 
  The smiles when they pass you at the grocers - where the corners of the lips move outwards, not upwards - an unwarranted pleasantry.


• 
  Ladies pulling out the mirror and make-up kit when the car is waiting at the traffic light, for barely 30 seconds.


• 
  Answering questions about where I get my protein from, if I "only eat vegetables". And, "What the hell are pulses/lentils?" or "So fish is not vegetarian?"

Enlightened.

Working with a bunch of 40-year olds is quite a treat. They seem to anticipate everything, and can map previous experiences into current situations and rationalize solutions so well. They finally have stopped treating me like a baby, so that's a good sign. I have also found a few itchy genes that make me want to cook various dishes over the week - surely a gift from my mom! I read more books like I used to when I was in school, and re-living that experience is a joy. Ok, so that's not an enlightening, but I sure have discovered stuff about myself in this little journey.


What have I inherited?

I now sport a really short-trimmed mane, although that was more the fault of the first time a male barber chopped my hair off in Strangeland. He was in a kind of hurry that I have only before witnessed in commuters in Mumbai ambling hurriedly to catch the 6.03PM Borivli Fast local train. Contact me for pictures if you want to amuse yourself. The sad part is, I now seem to like this trim!

I walk to work everyday, which is an arduous task when the temperatures are touching 40 degrees Celsius (me no understand Fahrenheit yet), and it gives me an excuse to wear shorts, "cos they are comfortable". Oh, they sure are and I can't seem to make myself wear jeans anymore! I even pranced around Bangaluru in shorts this April.

A work ethic totally different from what I witnessed in Homeland. The good part is, you only work in the workplace and dedicate all your energy to work while you are there. The bad part is, you never develop any personal relations with any of the office folk, and every relation is "strictly professional".

All in all

Eventually, I do feel less of a Stranger in this Strangeland, partly because I have inherited some Strangelandian qualities. And thankfully, I have learnt things about myself that I never had the time to discover.