Addicted To Chaos

Build Bottom-Up, Clean Top-Down

2011-08-20T04:19:00.006-05:00

Some problems are inordinately so complex and huge, that it is natural to break them down as a human to be able to comprehend and begin to solve them. There are two major approaches that will immediately settle in your mind once you attempt to comprehend a problem - top-down or bottom-up. Some problems are suited to top-down analysis, whereas others naturally incline themselves to bottom-up perspectives.

Building

When you set out to build something from scratch - let's just say a skyscraper - you start from the bottom. You dig deep into the ground, lay down a firm foundation, and only then start building upwards. How high you can go is directly dependent on how firm and deep your roots are. That's how trees go naturally as well - bottom-up.

Cleaning

Imagine attempting to clean your home - completely, including the ceiling, the ceiling fans, the walls. You don't start with the floor now, do you? You realize that sweeping the ceiling and pulling down cob-webs will pollute the floor anyway, so you decide to do that last. Ceiling, ceiling fittings, walls, wall-hangings, floor. Top-down.

Nation Building

Building a strong nation must indeed follow the same principles, to a layman like me. Firm grassroot institutions that look after the most underprivileged and most populous sections of society - Gram Panchayats, agricultural credit institutions, rural employment schemes - are the foundations on which you build the nation. Are these our strongest organizations today? How long can a nation stand strong with its weakest but most sizable communities being undermined?

Nation Cleaning

Ridding a nation of social evils like corruption is very much akin to cleaning, to a layman like me. Indeed, "cleaning" and "corruption" are often metaphorically used together by most observers. While it is indeed apt to ask people to stop giving bribes to get favors like a driving license or a college seat, we ought as well to notice what holds this culture of corruption up.

Is it really ingrained in our psyche or is it the system that requires cleaning? If it is the latter, does this not require a top-down cleaning then? Once I, as a guard to the manager's office, realize that the manager doesn't accept nor encourage bribes anymore, will I not think twice before harassing someone intending to meet my manager? Are people motivated by morality of peers, or the morality of their leaders? Should not the Prime Minister be open to examination for corruption just as me or you? Should not the cleaning commence from the top and make its way to the bottom?

The Other Side of Humility

2011-06-26T05:54:00.004-05:00

Humility: the quality or condition of being humble
Humble:

not proud or arrogant

having a feeling of insignificance, inferiority, subservience, etc

low in rank, importance, status, quality, etc

Source:Dictionary.com

Why is Humility Treated as a Virtue?

Hark back to the Moral Studies classes you were given in school, and there is sure to be a lesson or two about how humility is a very important virtue for a human to possess. Perhaps a story about a modest King who sought to understand the suffering of his subjects disguised as a commoner was in vogue, or perhaps the life-lesson of Mahatma Gandhi who led the freedom struggle inspiring millions without any pride whatsoever. Super-admiration for the ones that are modest in success is almost universal - so universal that it must stem from more than just an inspiring story from childhood.

But, what is it that makes us admire humble achievers more than the pompous ones? Is it because we believe that they appreciate the fact that those who failed also tried just as hard? Society at large does not accept failures, while successful people are immediately put on a pedestal. Yet we still yearn for those "heroes" to be modest.

Perhaps it is because humility shows a lack of pride - a pride that scythes away at the self-esteem of the ones who could not achieve what they aimed for. While that is clearly a noble stance, it would also be plain vanity if one has to try hard to suppress pride. When one hears "Oh, that was nothing really. I didn't have to work hard for it - just happened", one might be tempted to either respond with "Just happened? Why doesn't it just happen with me?" or perhaps "That was NOTHING? How smart does he think he really is?"

Perhaps then, it is because we innately feel a sense of connectedness in each other's achievements. That we are all in this together. That one person's success is really built on circumstances, events, hard work and perseverance of many others. Having a great idea is pointless until you find the right people to bring it to life, and more people to accept it, adapt to it and spread the good word. Maybe that is why most Academy Awards speeches are adorned with gratitude for everyone from family to filming staff to fans. And we lap them up despite them all sounding the same.

“If I have seen further than others, it is by standing upon the shoulders of giants.” - Isaac Newton.

Spiritual Humility

Humility as a virtue is defined as a basic necessity for achieving any spiritual realization uniformly by all religions across the world. Pride and Hubris are solemnly criticized as blinding factors that only feed one's ego and bloat it further. To take pride in one's actions and achievements is indeed marginalizing everything else except one's ego, to deny that there is something bigger than one can fathom at play when one succeeds or fails in what they will to do.

The life of the moral man is plain, and yet not unattractive; it is simple, and yet full of grace; it is easy, and yet methodical. He knows that accomplishment of great things consists in doing little things well.
He knows that great effects are produced by small causes. He knows the
evidence and reality of what cannot be perceived by the senses. Thus he
is enabled to enter into the world of ideas and morals. - The Doctrine of the Mean.

A rabbit that a huntsman brings,
They pay for it the proper price;
But none will give a betel nut
For the corpse of a ruler of the land!
A man's body is less worth than a rabbit's.
- Basavanna's Vachanas.

The Other Side

Like a see-saw must swing to the other side without proper balance, the practice of humility can also swing into self-effacement. In fact, many philosophers prescribe self-effacement and subduing of self-esteem as an essential part of humility.

Confucius said, "A gentleman does not grieve that people do not recognize his merits; he grieves at his own incapacities."

"To know when one does not know is best.
To think one knows when one does not know is a dire disease."
- Tao Te Ching.

"The fool who knows that he is a fool is for that very reason a wise man;
the fool who thinks he is wise is called a fool indeed."
- Dhammapada

Yet there is a genuine risk that this self-effacement can sink into self-loathing, which was never the goal of humility. Just as one must deny oneself the pride of success, it is equally important to deny the complete censure of failure. If it is narcissistic to think one is great due to their achievements, it is equally narcissistic to think one is the sole cause of one's failures. Like the other kind of narcissism, this negative narcissism can be equally blinding and misleading.

Mahatma Gandhi captures this best -
“I claim to be a simple individual liable to err like any other fellow mortal. I own, however, that I have humility enough to confess my errors and to retrace my steps.”

Perhaps why humility is regarded as a great virtue is because one who is consumed by the pride of success must then also prepare to be consumed by the despair of failure. Perhaps the best reaction is that of a mother at the success or failure of her child - you get a hug for trying your best no matter what the result. In success and in failure, perhaps the only thing we are required to do is study what we have been through, take what we can learn from the experience, understand the patterns for the result without prejudice, and stow it away for it will come handy once again.

A Gift of a Lifetime

2011-06-19T05:06:00.005-05:00

This is not a gift to my father on Father's Day, for he never values any gifts. While that might sound like a small quirk to some, it reveals so much about the person he is. Adorably referred to as "Pappa" since we first learned to mumble syllables together, he became, along with "Mummy", the very bulwark our life was built upon. When the papers remind you "It's Father's Day!", your instinct is to indulge him like many Fathers around the world will be today. But, you know him better than that. You are even wary of writing a post about him, lest he disapproves of this unwarranted indulgence as well.

My Daddy Strongest
As tiny little kids, we invariably see our fathers as a symbol of strength in our worlds. He can move furniture around the house and open lids on jam bottles. He never cries when he is hurt. He stands tall so that we have to literally look up to him all the time. Every now and then, he will come down to meet us, reminding us he has a soft side to him. He can play the right kind of music on his Japanese stereo that will put us to sleep in no time. "No" is never an answer for anything we desire and ask for. Things always seem miraculously and meticulously well-planned.

Only when you grow up, do you really start seeing there is more to the strength that a child can perceive. You see a man who has lost his father at a young age and faced abject poverty after his father's demise, and dedicated his working life to ensuring a financial security so that his family never experienced that. You see a man who yearned for schooling, but never had the means or access to one, and yet miraculously who goes on to get a PhD. And then you see this same man strive to save money for the sole aim of ensuring his sons can get the best education at whichever price. All this while, you still don't recollect a single instance of a "No" for something you wanted - a bicycle, a cricket bat, a computer.

From Father to Friend
Apparently, somewhere in the Vedas, there is an advice to fathers that as their children grow up, they value friends more than parents, and so a father must start playing the role of a friend as opposed to what will be perceived as an authoritative father. Pappa firmly believes in these wise words, and now that we look back, we can see the transition very clearly.

As we grow up, we start spending a lot more time with friends than at home. Fathers become peripheral figures, and only involve themselves in matters of extreme importance like arranging for the payment of fees, driving to our favorite restaurant, and signing report cards. When we fell sick, Mummy would be at our side caring and visibly worried, but Pappa would carefully inspect us like a doctor, and either take us to a real one or administer well-known Homeopathic or Ayurvedic medication himself and ask us to rest. When we started learning Mridangam, he joined us so that we would be motivated by his passion and diligence. Instead of always urging us to study harder, he would ask us whether we went out to play this evening.

At times, we would wake up in the mornings and discover him to be missing. "It isn't 9 yet. Then where is Pappa?". "Oh, he left for a week on an inspection trip to Lucknow early this morning. He didn't want you to wake up early and disturb your sleep." "But, I didn't say goodbye". Mummy would feel worse than we did and would break Pappa's "Do not bother the kids" rule when he returned back from his trip by waking us up to greet him. The memories of the joys of reuniting with a father are still vivid. Silently, in its own way, this would remind us of his importance in our lives lest we forgot as distracted teenagers.

Philoso-father
"When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished by how much he'd learned in seven years." - Mark Twain.

As I grew up and life started becoming more entangled with friends, relationships, careers, competition and morals, there was one source of answers always readily available. When I would worry about petty things like being under-paid despite working hard, I found solace in Pappa's wisdom. When I would be hurt by friends or the actions of those who I spent a lot of time with, there was a soothing balm in his words. He possesses an uncanny knack of visualizing a person's problem from a few words spoken in pain. His response is extremely practical when it is a problem of the real world - career, relations, finance. When practicality is insufficient, like problems of morality or grandiose worries about life, he can readily shift one's perspective by saying something profound.

I now realize he is well-read in ancient Indian writings like the Vedas, Mahabharata, Bhagavad Gita, Puranas and the philosophical musings of many renowned thinkers including Bertrand Russell, Mahatma Gandhi and Adi Shankaracharya. He has always shown a great appreciation for Science, and sees modern Science as an affirmation, and not an apposite to what we broadly term as Spirituality. Questions about the reality and relativity of Time are met with shlokas and references from the books he has read in the past. Mentions of the basic derivations of Quantum Theory are immediately tied to the conceptualization of the Universe in the Vedas. This from a man who has barely had the chance to study modern Science in school or when growing up, yet who immediately perceives intuitively on mere mention how these theories play out in our world.

It is said that humility can only stem from the experience of something much bigger than oneself. Whether it is a spiritual realization or the experience and understanding of life itself, Pappa is a model of humility and simplicity for all of us. Any attachments and possessions that drive us for more of the same, is only a downward spiral. Any ambitions and desires that wreck our peace of mind, are not worthy of our time. What flows freely through us, without disturbance, is the only thing life intends for us to do. If today you don't seem to get what you deserve, think of the times where you got more than you deserved; those times will come back again. Be proud of the books you author, the positions you hold, as they come with hard work and hard work desires satisfaction; but do not define yourself with this pride. Simple yet profound.

I can now clearly see how he tries to live his life according to what he has gleaned from his readings and his experience. Why would he want a gift to add to his list of possessions, when he is striving to keep the existing list small? Why worry about the expression of love when true love should never need to be expressly expressed? Why give today a special importance when indeed no day should be more special than others? Don't worry Pappa, there will be no Father's Day gift today. You are the gift of a lifetime to us instead.

Searching for Research

2011-06-12T04:40:00.004-05:00

The debate has cooled. The media's glare has turned away. Everyone returns to more pressing issues. But, the verdict has long been announced - The IITs and IIMs are not living up to the global standards we expect of them. Why? Because the number of research publications coming out of these places are paltry compared to the MITs and the Ox-Bridges of this world. Heck, even Tianjin produces more publications from China. While we are at it, the teaching faculty sucks as well.

Disclaimer:
My only association with any of these universities was during a 2-year M.Tech program at IIT, Bombay. I have never set foot in an IIM or for that matter any other IIT. Nor have I checked out the other institutes that are deemed "world-class". I shall therefore focus my point of view only through my brief interaction with IIT Bombay.

Mission IIT

The process of conception of the IITs had started prior to Independence, and as noted on Wikipedia the intention of foresighted leaders was indeed to pursue technological and research prowess for a newly independent nation. The model however was one where a Council of Scientific Research would be at the forefront of the scientific pursuits, while institutes like the IITs would produce a trained workforce to man these laboratories. The Indian Parliament also declared these institutes as "Institutes of National Importance" that would train engineers for the massive infrastructure development and related projects a new-born nation would naturally need to undertake.

The emphasis therefore was on producing engineering graduates primarily through the now famous B.Tech program. The other programs basically mushroomed from this system that was for so long completely funded by the government. To say that the Masters and Doctoral programs were simply step-children to begin with would not be an overstatement.

Train, Drain

Under-graduate students are typically not motivated to pursue painstaking research, and pursue problems that require patience and endeavour. The IITs sought only the smartest young students to join their B.Tech program, and these were funneled through the rigorous and well-renowned Joint Entrance Examination (JEE). One can bump into some of the brightest minds, a few of whom are indeed even over-achieving for their age, on a casual stroll through the campus. Yet, mysteriously for some, these bright minds do not result in an over-arching number of research publications and innovation coming out of these famed institutes.

The reasons are varied, but sometimes plain to see. So many of these brilliant kids hail from the remotest parts of the country and come from families that are barely middle-class. These kids are highly ambitious, but their priorities are naturally more inclined toward stepping out into a financially secure way of life. They are well aware that the "IIT stamp" is a game-changer, and one of the single biggest influences in their careers. This career pursuit might involve a job right out of B.Tech or moving on to an MBA from an IIM. A few will undoubtedly yearn to move into advanced research, but they quickly conclude that this is not what the IITs were primed to help them do, and fly westward. I personally know some bright prospects, who even landed medals at Physics and Math Olympiads, that settled for plum jobs right after B.Tech. I do not blame them, but the fact of the matter is that in our country a career of research is not yet perceived as a financially stable choice.

In a way, the B.Tech program is indeed delivering what it was designed for - brilliant engineers. Whether we truly reaped all the benefits is debatable.

Shouldering the burden

The burden of research in the IITs then falls to Post-Graduates and more importantly to those who decide to further carry their work into a PhD. Most Post-Graduates can primarily be defined by the attitude - "I wished I could crack the JEE, but I will get into an IIT through the GATE anyway". The IIT stamp is simply irresistible. You cannot test for an inclination toward research in a candidate. You can only hope to entice or motivate them to pursue greater goals.

While some M.Techs will publish a paper or two on the way to a cushy technical job, a handful will actually be motivated to take their research forward and ensure it bears fruit through a PhD program. The professors are not incompetent, and many have previously taught in prestigious universities in the US. They work through pressures of having to meet stringent research goals set by the administration while simultaneously dealing with the problems of landing dedicated, research-minded students to work with.

Remember, that all this while, these researchers are working with barely any investment from the industry. In my 2 years, I only saw one keen investor in the research pursued by our Computer Vision and Graphics lab - Defence Research and Development Organisation (DRDO). The Indian industry has only just moved on to innovation, and we should see more technology tie-ups with the IITs in the future that pump money behind research. Until then, the research carried out at the IITs is mostly driven by the faculty and students' individual interests and can very often be fruitless.

Research is an attitude

While it helps to have brilliant minds to solve difficult problems and innovate, innovation, especially one that requires a lot of research, is often more about discipline and perseverance. You will require flashes of brilliance to leap over what seems improbable, but you will also need the will and rigor to help you through the rough patches where you seem to have run into a wall. Most B.Techs, and many of the M.Techs, do not possess this rigor. Their minds are already set on the IIT-degree-fueled career path (which is not wrong in itself). Why do we expect them to contribute to academic innovation?

Yet, there are shining examples that I had the pleasure of working with myself, who have contributed handsomely to that meager research and journal publication count that Jairam Ramesh is using to conk the IITs. Biswarup Choudhury has published in the world's leading computer graphic and animation journals - something that has never been achieved before in this lab. Where are the opportunities to fund further innovation? Not here. He has had to continue his work at ETRI, Korea. Aniruddha Joshi took up the problem of reviving the ancient Indian diagnostic system of "Naadi Nidaan" - studying the pulse to diagnose ailments - when he was still doing his Bachelors in Engineering. He converted this passion to develop a digital system based on the ancient methods into a full doctoral research problem, and went on to present his work in a number of internationally acclaimed conferences. His research is supported by CSIR, Pune, in the true spirit of how scientific innovation was first envisaged by the founding leaders of our nation.

Give it time

The IITs are barely 50 years old (except for the first of them - Kharagpur). It is not fair to compare them to the MITs, Harvards, Stanfords, Ox-Bridges of the world that have watched centuries switch on the calendar. Not yet. These institutes also have the unique co-location of innovative industries ready to fund all interesting research. India is only warming up to innovation after a nationalistic surge of freedom after independence, followed by the lull of the socialist policy era. It may not even be wise to compare this to the Chinese universities, where an autocratic iron will can force nationalist agendas through without opposition. Yet, it is inevitable that the Chinese output will indeed be the first benchmark we will aim to achieve, in due course of time.

More India-centric innovation, more IITs, more industries sprouting around the IITs, and a larger aspiring middle-class to contribute innovative researchers to these institutes - the stage is quickly getting set. How far can the future be?

IP Quell

2011-05-22T04:22:00.006-05:00

"How long will this circus go on?", I ask for the umpteenth time.

"Another week", comes the reply.

"Sigh"

"Who would name their club team Indians?", I try to amuse myself again.

"Franchise team....."

"Whatever. It is akin to a football club in my mind. I don't know a football club named 'Versaille Francaise' or 'Dartmouth Brits'. Yet, here it is - Mumbai Indians."

"Dude, Sachin picked that name. He is obviously deeply patriotic. He always plays with the love for this country in his heart. Didn't you see his emotions overflow on winning the World Cup? What would you know....foreign returnee. Football fan."

"Sachin might be God when it comes to batting. But, I am now almost certain he didn't name his kids. Or else they'd be named Bharat and Indu. Are all the players in his team Indian? Malinga sounds much like Kalinga, but I have my doubts about Symonds and Pollard."

"They can play upto 4 foreigners in each game".

"Ok, so they are NOT Indians".

"Stop being an idiot. You think Sehwag is a Daredevil? Wait......in a way, he really is. Ok, here's another one....you think Yuvraj is a Warrior? Wait....he does sound like a warrior. Ok, this one surely...you think Gambhir is a Knight Rider?"

"Haha, that is most definitely the most imaginative name I've ever come across. Knight Riders! That totally killed the buzz I had stowed away in the back of my head about the cool 80s show - crime buster in a dark black car. One dark black car. One and only crime buster. Now suddenly there are 20. And they wear purple and gold. Buzz-kill."

"There is no buzz killing with Shah Rukh at the helm of their affairs. I have no doubt his creative self picked that uber-cool name."

"Please, it's not like Kolkata is to Knight Rider, what Gotham City was to Batman. I thought this was the INDIAN Premier League. Whatever happened to picking names and themes that go with the culture? How about Kolkata Rossogullas? Or just Kolkata Gullas? Ok, I know I suck at this, but there surely is a more Bengali-sounding name? It doesn't need to be Bengali either. Like I appreciate the choice of the name Tuskers - one of the things you associate with Kerala is the Elephant, thanks to the 'Mile Sur Mera Tumhara' video that was bludgeoned into our young heads."

"Enjoy the game. What's in a name?"

"A name is meant for me to tell things apart and to set a context in my head before I appreciate the object that the name belongs to. I can't believe 2 teams are 'Royal' and 2 others are 'Kings' in a league of 10 teams. Seriously, who pays these people for creativity?"

"The creativity is in the stroke-play. In the field setting. In the master class bowling efforts in these torrid situations. I know you can't appreciate that. You are probably still looking for the goal behind long leg and wondering why there are 11 goalkeepers."

"Please, I know my cricket! I used to day-dream for years that I was the Indian Shane Warne, except I was also a hard-hitting middle order batsman. And I basically played the role Yuvraj did when India won the World Cup. In my dreams of course. But, even so, don't insult my cricket-crazy past! I simply bring new perspective."

"Did you just compare Shane Warne to Yuvraj?"

"No, I compared myself to them both. Thank God there is only one Yuvraj!"

"Yes, there is only one. India could do with another for the next world cup."

"Apparently, all it takes to become a Yuvraj-like Warrior is Revital. Which reminds me...when Pune won a franchise for 2011, I was so sure they'd pick the name Pune Peshwas. It just sounds so fresh and revitalizing. Also, so culturally appropriate."

"Peshwas used to live there in the old days. You think there are still Peshwas around?"

"Old is the new new man. Everyone wants Indianized Sanskritized names, except Indians! Seriously, if one team calls itself Kings, and another says 'Kings ah? We are Super Kings!' doesn't it remind you of yourself when you were 3 years old?"

"How do you know the names were picked in serial order and not disclosed simultaneously? You are from Chennai. You should know that there is only one affirmative qualifier used there - Super. It fits perfectly."

"I also lived in Hyderabad. I do remember seeing buffaloes in the Dairy Farm next to our home. I can see how "Chargers" fits Hyderabad now."

"You lived next to a Dairy Farm?"

"It was in the 80s man. Don't read anything into it."

"OK. The 8PM match is starting now. So, stop filling my ears and let me enjoy this encounter."

"A 2nd game? 2 games every day?"

"There are 10 teams now. More games. Now hush."

"When does this circus end again?"

A Chance for Chennai

2011-05-14T04:08:00.005-05:00

Ever since I decided to move back to Homeland and give a career in Chennai a chance, I have been assessing that decision every now and then - not the moving back part, but the choosing Chennai part. Chennai was the obvious choice given my parents decided to retire here. What better place to return to than Home?

However, as I started settling down, I started picking holes with everything around me - the people, the services, the weather, the surroundings - everything except my mom's food! It turned out to be one of those "better than thou" ranting phases every returnee from a foreign land goes through when settling down back at home. I mistook it for a personal vendetta against Chennai (yes, I often "mistake" myself), which it was not. But, it forced me to look closer at the observations I had been collecting in the back of my head about this city and the feedback of other folk about this city. At the risk of annoying a few people, I hereby declare that what follows is the personal opinion of the author, and has deep ties with this blog, but not with Blogger in general.

Another disclaimer - I have lived 17 years of my life in Mumbai, making me Mumbaikar at heart. 7 years were spent in Hyderabad and 2 in Pune. Having warned you, I will now attempt to throw some perspective into some of the more common reasons I have stumbled upon regarding why folks seem to dislike Chennai.

Too Hot!

How hot is too hot anyway? Isn't it all relative? Some find Tikka Masala "tikka", while some others call Mirchi ka Saalan bland. When the mercury hit 40C last week, I was grumbling aloud. That was until I visited Delhi (42C with a Loo) and Varanasi (45C with Loo++). For reference, every degree beyond 40, feels like 10. The Loo in Varanasi was more like "Waterloo" - sucked out all the water you gulped 5 minutes ago.

No Speak Hindi (aka Tamizh TeriMa)

Ever been to Russia? Me neither. But I wish to generalize. They "No Speak English" there as well. Yes, they might understand when you speak to them in English. But, they don't have to respond back in English. It is the same with some Tamizhians and Tamizh - they are proud of their language. Yes, this pride has no place in a sovereign, secular, united country like India. Ever try telling that to the strictly Marathi speaking bus conductor in Pune? "Pudhe chalaa...Aikat naahi kaay tula?" Or is that because Marathi is accidentally closer to Hindi?

If one were to really argue for this pride, you don't need to look beyond a Wikipedia page on the language - Tamizh dates back to an age earlier than even Sanskrit, let alone Hindi or Marathi or English. If the world were ending tomorrow and one had to choose to preserve 2 ancient Indian languages over all else today, the linguist's choice would be Tamizh and Sanskrit. Thankfully, the world only ends in December 2012.

I agree that this blind pride in the mother tongue seems to sometimes slam doors shut on non-Tamizh-speaking people willing to blend into Chennai. It is often seen as prejudice against "naarthies", and at other times interpreted as expressing a lack of friendliness in the people in general. While the former can be explained by following the dynamics of the political movements (read Dravidian Self-Respect Movement) of the region since independence, the latter simply is way too simplistic. Humans in one region of the world cannot be more or less friendly compared to another region. That argument is a non-starter. I tried it against Strangelandians myself, and it failed to stand the test of time.

We visit Germany for a short working stay and strive to learn German. We indulge in English from kindergarten so we can work with the English speaking world (UK+US+Australia?). (Also, so that we can write blog posts in English when we grow up). But ask me to pick up some Tamizh in Tamilnadu or Telugu in Andhra Pradesh and I shall call it blasphemy! "YOU need to adapt to ME and not the other way round". We are better to aliens than to our own countrymen.

Rice is NOT a food group

Neither is corn a food group in Mexico. Nor is fish a food group in Thailand. Geography - one of those subjects in school we never cared for - will explain to you why some regions are more inclined to making some staple food item centric to their diet. When in the US, vegetarians struggle to find meat-free diets on a daily basis, and resort to cooking for oneself. That is too far to go when in another region of your own country. In fact, scratch that. There are simply too many restaurants in Chennai that serve decent non-Rice fare to make this argument relevant. More decent than the fare served in desi restaurants abroad.

Roads are dignified spittoons

Yes they are. I have no clue what makes people spit on the road and then urge others to walk on the same roads. While the spit here down South is white in color and vanilla flavored (disclaimer - I haven't tasted any but my own), move further north and the color turns orange or bright red, is paan-flavored (see previous disclaimer) and leaves a bigger spit-print on the roads. You prefer.

Rude Auto Rickshaw Drivers

Auto Rickshaws don't use the meter in this city, and the price is fixed before you board the vehicle like dowry is agreed upon before a girl gets married. Smartly dressed and looking affluent? Haggling starts at double the normal rate. Speaking anything but Tamizh? Rs.25 foreign language surcharge to communicate with you. Yes, you need immense negotiating skills if you are to ride in an auto at a fair price here.

The awesome side-effect though is that now you get to Save The World. Go Green. Use public transport. This is the secret agenda behind the state government promoting rude auto drivers.

In a hurry and really, really need to take an auto? Use a "Call Taxi" instead. Rude auto-drivers are exactly the kind of extreme adversity that leads to brilliant innovation. We have "Call Taxis" thanks to someone being really keen on solving (making money) off this problem.

Filthy

Pan-India problem. Next.

Big moustaches

Sign of a hero warrior. Next.

Moustachioed heroes

Bhagat Singh anyone? Anil Kapoor? I know, I give up.

Rajnikanth

Dei! Don't make this personal!

Where To Indian Football?

2011-02-05T03:59:00.009-06:00

The Indian team bus for the AFC Cup 2011
Last month, there was the small matter of the AFC Asian Cup held in Qatar, where the best of Asian football compete with each other to be heralded the best in Asia. We know very well that the world is watching keenly to see how Asians emerge after decades of slumber from the shadow of the West, in all fields of global interest including sports. I was personally very excited because the Indian football team had qualified for the AFC Cup for the first time since 1984. To my dismay however, the Indian media largely ignored this great achievement, to underline how far behind football has fallen to the alluring plague of cricket and the unstoppable financial might of the BCCI.

Forgotten History
Lest we forget, Indian footballers, and football in general, weren't always the pushovers they are today. Like cricket, football was one of the popular sporting cultures imported by the British during their reign over this country. Indeed, if anything, football has a longer history in India compared to cricket, with the Durand Cup being one of the oldest football tournaments in the world - third only to the English and Scottish FA Cups. The Mohun Bagan - East Bengal derby games can be traced to as far back as 1925. The Salt Lake City football stadium in Kolkata which plays host to this historic derby is the 2nd largest such stadium in the world in terms of capacity.

The Golden Decade
The period from 1951-1962 is widely regarded as the finest few years Indian football has ever witnessed, under the watchful eyes of the legendary coach Syed Abdul Rahim. This was a team known widely around the world not only for their raw talent, but also for the fact that they mostly played bare-footed. India won 2 Asian Games golds, besides finishing 2nd and 4th in the other two Asian Games during this period. But, the highlight really was finishing 4th in the 1956 Olympics after becoming the first Asian team to make it to the semi-finals. By the time they came runners-up in the 1964 Asian Cup, Indian football had begun its decline.

Inept Babus Missing the Professional Leap
As with most other sports in the country, football fell victim to unwarranted political clout. People with no association with the sport, or for that matter any sport whatsoever, suddenly grasped power in the highest echelons of the AIFF. Instead of promoting professional football leagues, they kicked off a series of power and money struggles that saw a spinning Roulette of coaches and a lack of investment in youth academies for the next generation of stars to arise. Politicians like Priya Ranjan Das Munshi held president positions for 20 years without contest. Alongside his many distractions, Praful Patel today controls the strings of the AIFF.

I lay claim to his success

Underdogs Win Hearts
The final nail in the football coffin was hammered in when an Indian cricket team carried an underdog team to triumph in a remarkable 1983 World Cup against a seemingly invincible West Indies team. A depressed nation desperately seeking succor readily embraced these overnight heroes and cricket has never looked back since. Unlike football, even though the BCCI attracts a number of politicians like bees to a honey-pot, there has been little government interference and it has been run like a private company sincerely interested in ensuring the commercial success of the sport. Without the BCCI, cricket as a sport that attracts a billion viewers is simply unimaginable.

Football Today
Indian players today are starved of quality opposition due to a combination of a poor league setup and a low FIFA ranking. They end up playing a number of friendlies with clubs in Europe simply to gain much needed exposure. I remember watching a friendly between then Dutch champions PSV Eindhoven and India 10 years ago. It was a bitter lesson for the defence that day, as twice the whole back-line stepped up as one to play the offside trap, but left 4 attackers free to pick who will tap in the goal. Fast-forward to the AFC Cup 2011, and I saw a shocking repeat of the same against Bahrain as Abulatif gleefully tapped in past a hapless goalkeeper in a game where he scored 3 other goals as Bahrain won 5-2.

The AFC Cup qualification itself was a wild-card entry. India won the AFC Challenge Cup, which is a tournament for emerging nations, similar to the ones that are organised by the ICC in cricket, giving them a direct entry to the AFC Cup finals. Think of Indian football in the AFC Cup as the Dutch cricket team in the ICC World Cup. While any draw would have been tough, Group C in the AFC Cup was the worst India could hope for, with recent World Cup participants Australia and South Korea, besides Middle-East powerhouse Bahrain for company. It predictably ended in 3 defeats, with scores reading a dismal 4-0 (Aus), 5-2 (Bah), and 4-1 (Kor). Nevertheless, there was no lack of spirit, and a few notable young stars hold much promise.

Young Stars
The most notable performer is the outstanding custodian in goal - Subrata Pal. Athletic, agile, and brave, he single-handedly ensured the scores weren't more humiliating than they already look. Clearly the only one close to being world-class, one hopes he gets the chance to ply his trade in stronger leagues. Sunil Chhetri is however the only one currently registered with a foreign team. I say registered because the Kansas City Wizards don't seem to want to play him in the MLS in the USA. However, this diminutive striker is a wizard by Indian standards and has pace and trickery to go with neat finishing skills. 21 goals in 43 appearances for the national team are proof that he should easily surpass Baichung Bhutia as the top goal-poacher in Indian history.

Oops - this one got away. Slippery customer Baichung.

The only other notable performers are center-back Gouramangi Singh who won the AIFF player of the year 2010, and the aging left-winger Renedy Singh, who scored the stunner against Bahrain that was awarded to Chhetri. The pressure of being labeled "The Indian Beckham" clearly told on Steven Dias as he followed one disappointing delivery with another.

The Future
The future really is not in the hands of these players above, nor in those of the perspiring and inspirational manager Bob Houghton. Each defeat in the AFC Cup was followed by an interview in which Houghton desperately called for the Indian authorities to notice the hardwork the players are putting in and to invest in infrastructure - stadiums, competitive leagues, youth academies. It is not as if we can't find fans amongst a billion people. The English Premier League has witnessed a remarkable growth in the number of Indian viewers in recent years. What the fans want is a competitive league with quality players and quality stadiums to watch them in.

No dearth of crazy fans

The league has been restructured, but the only thing that stands out is its cool new name - I-League. The noteworthy addition to this league however is that of the Indian Arrows - a team meant to breed young talent. It was formed when it was noted that most teams in the league sign up youngsters but are wary of blooding them too young.

The only way I can see fans flocking back to the stadiums is if the style of play switches from the archaic hoof-ball English tactics to the style that Syed Abdul Rahim pursued during the Golden Decade - possession football with neat passing and switch of play. It is the most attractive style of play that even spectators who are new to the sport instantly enjoy, and is followed like a religion by top European clubs like Barcelona and Arsenal. Spain's World Cup triumph and the recent World Cup runs of South Korea and Japan are completely down to an investment in this kind of football.

It needs a lot of skill, not just to complete passes, but to keep possession under
pressure. The players can develop that. What they cannot develop are stadiums with lush green fields that are conducive to this kind of play. If the organisers give them rough, shoddy lawns to play in where the ball won't roll past a few meters, who wouldn't be tempted to lump it forward hopefully?

As more fans are attracted to the global allure of football, one can only wonder how long will it be before someone pumps in the money BCCI style to tap into the one enviable wealth we hold as a country - a huge bulging middle-class population with money to spend on entertainment.

Yours Faithfully

2010-12-21T01:16:00.003-06:00

As humans, we have great fun applying labels on each other, including ourselves. Indian! American! Left-centric. Socialist. Gooner. Red Devil. On-Facebook. Not-on-Facebook! Hindu. Muslim. Christian. Monotheist. Atheist. Agnostic. Believer. The list is endless, and we discover new ones to label ourselves with each day. But, perhaps the one labeling that has stood the test of time is the one related to one's belief in God. The Wikipedia page on Theism presents one with the remarkable array of labels one can apply on a "believer".

Let me define the terms of engagement briefly, as I see them.

Theist: Believes in at least one God, most often a personal God, that has been accepted as the creator of the Universe and as the one responsible for its governance or maintenance.

Atheist: Believes that there is no need for a God entity to explain the Universe, and that rigorous logical analysis (Science) satisfactorily answers all questions the human mind can raise about the world around us.

Agnostic: Believes that they do not have sufficient knowledge to choose sides and perhaps even admit that they may never have an answer to questions regarding the Universe.

Once you try to dissect these terms however, it is remarkable how all the arguments seem to sound similar, except in the final mental image they seek to achieve.

Fundamental Basis of Belief
It would be difficult to deny the fact that what category we fall under when we try to label ourselves with one of the 3 labels listed above has much to do with how we were brought up and what kind of influences affected us through life. There is absolutely no link between education levels and a lack of belief in God. It is wrong to say atheists are usually highly educated. and vice-versa. I have met physics majors, deeply involved in Quantum Theory, who are devout Christians at the same time.

If one has parents that actively practice some religion, it is but natural that they will be introduced early into a life surrounded by theories about God and related religious beliefs. In families where reasoning and questioning is encouraged, children seem to grow up free of any imposed religious beliefs, but this does not imply they couldn't be affected by an influence later in life - a book, someone wise whom you respect, a tragic event. Ultimately, it all comes down to what you believe in. Some idea forces itself into your head, and you mull over it long enough to actually start believing it.

I Believe in Science
To the atheists who claim - "I believe in Science, and Science has proven there is no need for an entity named God to explain the Universe and human creation. You give me a question, Science will find an answer - Evolution, Big Bang, Gravity." - I ask, do you really understand as much of Science as you believe in? Do you really understand how Gravity works? Do you really still think matter is made up of spheres with revolving electrons and a sun-like nucleus in the middle, and by dissecting these "particles" someday we will know what the "God particle" is? Have you heard of Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle, and how it throws a spanner in the works of any "scientific" observation or experiment? Or is it that you believe that the scientists are smart and intelligent, and you would rather hedge your bets on such intellects compared to the medieval saints who "meditate and levitate".

Ask any established Physicist, and they will tell you that Physics has hardly made any significant breakthrough in the last 80 years. The problems have become a lot harder than the ones we started out with - observations have not answered all our questions, but have instead thrown forth new and much more difficult ones. The very essence of Quantum Theory screams "I am not sure, but I can give you deterministic probabilities". It doesn't surprise me that so many Physicists eventually realise they may not get an answer in their lifetime, and try to seek solace outside Science at the same time as they pursue their research.

I Believe in a Supreme Force
It's hard to put forth examples about the hollow and shallow nature of religion as a whole without hurting particular sentiments, so I must desist from doing that. One thing is clear though - if there was a God, my God would not have to be superior to yours. Most of what we call religion can be summed up as a really "dumbed down", generally applicable abstract of what their founders meant for it to be, and too focused on "rules and practices" for a reasoning human to accept freely. When children ask their parents about some peculiar practice they notice during a festival or worship, we scold them for asking, instead of realising we are following something we do not understand nor dared to question ourselves. Reasoning and questioning are the most precious gifts we have inherited as humans, and what can be more insulting to the God one prays to, to forgo the gifts He has bestowed upon us?

One respects their parents and having been born in a family where both parents practice one religion with faith, one was bound to end up following in their footsteps. Another heard a preacher at a time when they were going through immense personal upheaval, and heard a bell ring and answered the calling. Yet another was preached by someone who they deemed to be morally and spiritually superior, and out of fear of retribution by said God decided to accept the prescribed religious ways.

To all Theists I say - "Have you understood what your religious founders really set out to preach? Or do you think they were preaching trivialities (like Heaven/Hell) that everyone thought they understood, and there was no need for any further inquiry? Which of the human problems - fear, wars, hatred, greed - has any preacher of God been able to overcome yet? Or did you think the problems are all because we don't all believe in the same God? Is that even possible? If I asked you to describe the qualities of God, which is ultimately an image developed and embedded in your head over time, do you think everyone else would use the same qualities to describe God as well?"

I Believe I Must Believe
The last category of agnostics, at least put up a humble front when faced with the problem by throwing their hands up and saying "I am open to more information, but I doubt I can ever reasonably come to a conclusion". The other categories label them as weak, indecisive. The one appreciative quality agnostics portray is an inquisitiveness regarding everything. They realise they will likely never get all the answers, but they regard the reasoning ability of humans to be the essence of what they want to base their lives on. Yet, in believing they can never get an answer, they find comfort in the belief that life cannot give you all the answers. It may sound to be a weaker belief, but once again, man hasn't escaped the comfort and security of believing in something.

The great philosopher Adi Shankaracharya, is known to have furious debates about Advaita - non-dualism - with other theists and atheists of his time. It is hard to get away from the fact that this was also based on a personal belief - albeit perhaps one that was reasoned by a questioning and ruminating mind after dwelling for years on ancient manuscripts.

We would all love to have answers for all the questions our minds throw up each day. It is possible there is an answer - one answer for all questions. Or there may be none that we can stumble upon in our lifetime. No matter which bracket you fall into, it may be worth considering not to ever stop questioning or reasoning. To betray a reasoning mind, is to betray yourself, the very essence of who you are. For if Shankaracharya, Budhha and other similar philosophers are right, with sufficient introspection we can arrive at a mental state where there is no past, no future, no time, no space, and all problems melt into the one consciousness. I wish you all the best in finding your personal God!

The Human Face of Climate Change

2010-12-12T05:32:00.004-06:00

Another year goes by and another UNFCC summit on Climate Change comes to an end with semi-promises agreed to and hesitant agreements made in the name of progress. Cruel, hard facts still stare at us - none of this is going to prevent temperature rise by 2C in the next 40 years - yet global leaders, expected to be strong-willed and seeking the benefit at large of their national society, cannot look beyond petty short-term gains and bargains. After the delegates have all flown home in jumbo-jets, thus adding a few more tons of CO2 each to the atmosphere, the bitter truth stares us in the face - humans cannot solve this problem until they stop being humans.

Let me point out a couple of the human aspects of this problem, as I see it.

Greed
The hunger to have more, when one already has more than enough, is something most humans can see, but cannot always act against. All around us, especially in a socially lopsided country like India, we see greed build a billion dollar mansion standing up against the slums. The rich know how to get richer, working through the system until they become the system itself, blind to any adverse effect it may have on the poor.

I wholly agree with the Bolivian president Evo Morales when he says capitalism, with its guiding principles always feeding individual greed, can never solve the world's problems - including tackling climate change. Yes, it makes the rich richer, and the poor a little less poor over time, albeit a lot slower than you can get richer. But, at what cost? Those same rich are desperate to hold on to their riches, built by burning gigatons of coal, millions of barrels of oil, chopping down forests with abandon and dumping waste where no one questions them. And so they deny climate change. Spread hoaxes to brain-wash those who are now so used to the comforts of always available cooling and heating, as well as personal transport. Lobby governments that depend on their investments not just to keep the economy moving, but also to fund political campaigns. The result, corporate greed screws the poor farmers and jungle foragers that make up more in numbers than the corporate class, but have a smaller voice of opinion.

Selfishness
At the global round table, selfishness really becomes nationalism - a more aggregate form of selfishness. Yet, the results are the same. The developed nations fail to look beyond the loss of economic advantage and a potential drop in the so-called "standard of living" to acknowledge other nations have more severe problems to deal with. The developing nations are caught in the trap of seeking justice, for the "right to pollute" as much as the others have for decades. The poor countries, who cannot even pollute if they wanted to, are left to negotiate over the remaining scraps.

It will be no surprise to watch a few islands disappear while other nations fail to look beyond this self-focused view of the world. Poor countries like Bangladesh, Nepal, nations in Sub-Saharan Africa will soon face devastating bouts of drought where they will struggle to save lives. Yet, the Americans will count how many Americans are affected, while the Indians will do the same. It is here where Jairam Ramesh's departure from the staid stance of waiting for the developed countries to act in the name of justice, seems so mature. The "status quo" is not good enough, and it is not too hard to realise this.

What would Gandhi do?
It is hard to guess what the Mahatma would have done today, but it would have involved sacrifice, of individual good for global welfare. He would have passionately asked Indians first to consider the choices they have - a life where they might live with all the comforts they can afford today, where they may never have to face an unnatural natural disaster, but their children will have no such choice. He would have asked those who believe that their short life isn't as important as the health of the Earth, the mother who rears us all in her womb without a sigh, to follow him. He would have then led them to sacrifice these comforts, sacrifice the security of a capitalistic economy, and work together to show the world how to live within one's means, in harmony with nature, and yet live a full and satisfied life.

He would have hoped the other nations notice this act of mass sacrifice, and Gandhis sprout up all around the world, against the oppression of the corporates who are now losing their massive markets as more people give up unnecessary comforts. Eventually, just like the whole Indian nation rose up against the British Raj, perhaps most of the world will rise up to the corporate bullies, and let the real human nature - one where we care about everyone, do not distrust other nations, and work for a collective good - shine through to solve this unique problem.

Is this just Utopia? Can humans, who have never been able to see past their petty differences for a million years, suddenly rise and solve this problem we have created for ourselves? Or are we condemned to be extinct soon, like dinosaurs, except that the dinosaurs weren't stupid enough to kill themselves.

Remember, Remember, Teachers in September

2010-09-05T08:51:00.006-05:00

It's the 5th of September today - a day we were never allowed to forget back in school because it was the day we had to shower love and respect on our teachers, even if, in some cases, we didn't particularly like them. Celebrated on the birthday of one of India's most scholarly Presidents ever - Dr. Sarvepalli Radhakrishnan - Teacher's Day was the day the "class monitor" was supposed to pool money and buy roses for all the teachers. Indian culture has always required us to revere our Gurus as ones who enlighten our paths and guide us to knowledge. Perhaps, when school days are a distant memory, the ones who still live on within us and bring a smile to our faces when we think of them, did really impress our hearts and minds. Here's an ode to the ones I can still remember.

Pre-primary School

Heck, I barely remember my primary school. What chance then of me remembering any of my pre-primary teachers? If Hindi movies were a guide to my memory, I am certain they were pretty and adored children!

Primary School

"A good teacher is like a candle - it consumes itself to light the way for others." - Anonymous.

Mukhtar madam, my Math teacher from Vidyodaya High School, springs to mind instantly. She would literally sweat profusely within the melting walls of the hot Hyderabad school, trying to shove concepts about Algebra into little heads. We loved her because she was brutally honest and dedicated, and the boys loved her because there was no favoritism to girls! You could see pride light her eyes up when one of us solved a problem she would pose for us on the board. I recollect the many times she clearly wouldn't be in the best of health or would be fatigued by the fasting month of Ramzan, but would keep going with sheer determination. We always respect someone who is clearly trying harder than ourselves. And as Indians, we adore those who let us ask personal questions like - "Happy Birthday Ma'am, how old are you today?", "Are you really not married? Why?". While others got roses, we would get her a tea-set.

My favorite part was when we were preparing for our 7th standard Board Exams (yes, kids have it easy these days!) - she would call out some 10 names and make them stand up in class, and lecture them on how she expects them to get a 100 in Math. When the results were out, and I was shy of a 100 by some 25 marks, I was lucky my dad got transferred to Bombay and I did not have to face her blazing eyes of disappointment.

Secondary School

“The test of a good teacher is not how many questions he can ask his pupils that they will answer readily, but how many questions he inspires them to ask him which he finds it hard to answer” - Alice Wellington

The first name that would spring to mind for any of my friends who studied at Poorna Prajna High School in Mumbai when asked to remember their teachers would undoubtedly be of Diana madam. I can't even remember if she was good at what she taught, probably because history and social studies always felt like subjects where there really wasn't much to learn. But, her openness to stupid questions and general student banter made her an instant hit with everyone. Her example made it clear to me how a good teacher must be - friendly and approachable, and always having the ability to encourage and deal with all kinds of questions. Respect developed this way, as opposed to fear-induction, has a lasting effect.

High School/Junior College

Classrooms of size 120, pretty girls everywhere, sweating with low self-esteem, worrying about catching the rush-hour train home that is less crowded than the others, the stench of chemicals from the chemistry lab below and the air-conditioned refuge of the 2 hours of Computer Lab time. No teachers ever registered I guess.

Engineering

"A teacher who is attempting to teach without inspiring the pupil with a desire to learn is hammering on cold iron." - Horace Mann

The less said about the quality of teachers in the average Engineering college in India, the better. If this were meant to be a reverse list, I could fill it up with 4 years of teachers barely covering 25% of the syllabus, giving more assignments than lectures, and clearly peddling their coaching class stints over regular classes. The Math teachers were again impressive, but maybe that's because I felt an affinity for Math back then. The only other teacher that stood out was Mrs. Rekha Ramesh, once again for the qualities I always admire - open to questions, and something lacking in my college back then: a determination to cover as much of the syllabus as possible in her lectures. The one thing that stood out was the fact that she always appreciated if someone corrected her, and when she would say "I will answer that in the next class", she always did.

Masters

“Tell me and I'll forget; show me and I may remember; involve me and I'll understand.” - Chinese Proverb.

If there was a complete opposite of my Engineering experience, it would have to be doing Masters at IIT Bombay. It is perhaps because of the shambles we face during engineering that this experience looks so much brighter. It's hard to pick one professor out of the many who taught us. However, Prof. Abhiram Ranade is probably the most inspiring of them all to me personally, most likely because of his calm and assured demeanor. He taught us Algorithms and Complexity, and his course structure and presentation style are unmatched with any other professor I ever encountered. Even the assignments were actually fun to solve, and led to much discussion and debate on our hostel floors. What I loved most was his personality though. He always smiled at each student he passed in the corridor, spoke softly and succinctly, wore a simple shirt that was never tucked in but always neatly ironed, and carried a humble cotton bag. He loved it when students asked questions and was most approachable with any other problems as well.

Now that his lectures are on YouTube, everyone can enjoy them.

“The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates. The great teacher inspires.” - William Arthur Ward.

Here's hoping that the students of today find more such inspiring teachers in their path to knowledge.

Why Create Man?

2010-05-30T04:04:00.008-05:00

I've often wondered about the meaning of life, God's (whoever or whatever you call God) greatest creation, and how I fit into all of it. Of late though, I seem to wonder more about how mankind as a whole fits into the picture. All around us, atleast to my pessimistic presence, one can witness how this greatest of all creations selfishly threatens not just the existence of its own species, but Life on Earth itself as we know it.

Hence the question - Why create man when the best we have done is to threaten a climatic disaster worse than any asteroid collision could ever cause? Why create man as the example of a greedy species that cannot think beyond itself, and considers all else in nature as a never-ending pile of birthday presents? Why create man as the single most intelligent creature, that has conquered all else in nature to ensure its own subsistence beyond everything else?

An Alien View
One of my favorite twitter users is Soichi Noguchi for he posts the most amazing pictures from on-board the International Space Station, reminding us of the beautiful and bountiful heaven we have inherited. We didn't create this, but it is ours to enjoy.

At the same time, he also wonderfully captures the ugly footprints we leave behind. The orderly concrete jungles of Manhattan are hardly eye-catching to a visiting alien, while the recent oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico tells them all they need to know about how much we care about our own home. Man has clearly not contributed to the beauty of nature with their technological advancements, nor are we the most pleasing creatures to look at. Beside every majestic Taj Mahal runs a black, greasy Yamuna river.

Harking Back to the Vedas
Perhaps the answer is in the ancient scriptures, I mused to myself. A brief dive into their content revealed one important answer. The Vedas teach us that the sensory world and its many sparkling attractions are merely Maya - a web of illusions distracting us from the real purpose of our existence. What this purpose is, is never defined, because it cannot be defined for each individual. Rather, one is urged to be ready and prepared to always serve Nature, because behind all the genealogy and evolution, is a broader brush-stroke which is bound to eventually serve creation itself.

Another answer provided by the brilliant scriptures is the fact that Man, and all Life and existence included, is really one with the Universe itself. There is nothing but this Universe (Brahma), and Life is but only one way for the Universe to express its creative (and destructive) urges. The human mind is said to be the medium through which The Universe can therefore finally, see and understand itself. This doesn't mean that Life has reached its evolutionary peak, but it does lead somewhere.

One Possible Answer
If all this sounds too deep and vague, you are not alone. But this is perhaps the only answer to the questions I raise - despite all the follies of Man, Nature must have a grander plan in its natural scheme to extend Life somehow. Else, Mankind should have been struck out by evolutionary forces, not left to continue its plundering.

It is well established that while the Earth is likely the womb as well as the cradle of Life, it is not expected to last forever, and with it Life as we know it, will perish too. Perhaps Nature created an intelligent, logically-oriented, creative, techno-savvy Man so that one day we could eventually transport Life onto another new home. While what will likely drive us to do that would be our selfish survival instincts, Nature as a whole might just benefit by continuing its existence elsewhere. Perhaps Nature knows the risks it takes in seeking this goal. Perhaps we may not be needed once we find a new home for Nature.

I am not sure we are any closer to finding a new home than we were when the first human was created, but the situation we continue to place ourselves in is going to force our hand sooner or later. Maybe the Vedas are right - we need to stop focusing on our material needs and start listening to what Nature created us for. There is no Planet B today, but we might have to find it - fast.

Talking Morals

2009-11-01T02:53:00.005-06:00

December 18. Copenhagen. After 12 days of verbal warfare, intense debates, poor nations shifting blame on the rich, and multiple attempts at cutting deals, there was no consensus arrived at regarding emission cuts agreed by members attending the United Nations Climate Change Conference, 2009. Despite allegations of moral debt against the developed nations, the G-7, led by the strong resistance from the US, stuck to their view of sharing in a larger way the burden of solving the climate change crisis.

All neutrals, the scientists and environmentalists who care about the global climate change crisis, are concerned this could be how the papers report the failure of another attempt by the United Nations to broker a deal amongst nations on an issue of global concern. All the signs during the build-up to the conference also seem to vindicate their fears.

The Haves against the Have-Nots
The climate change debate is unique in the sense that it has the potential to turn the tables on the rich and powerful nations that have decided, or at least guided, the fate of the billons across the world for decades. For once, the attributes of wealth and technological prowess don't enhance one's resume when sitting at a table debating global issues. If anything, it only puts you on the back-foot right away.

"The Haves" here are of course, the developed nations of this world, that have steamed ahead - nah, smoked ahead - on the back of the Industrial and technological revolution in terms of economic prowess, without much recourse to the costs therein, as it now emerges, of a rampant and rapacious over-use of fossil fuels.

"The Have Nots" are the nations that missed this train, either due to problems in local governance or under the clutches of colonization, and are still striving to alleviate basic problems for their citizens that the Haves have long addressed. While a few of these Have Nots are marching to the top of the emission and economic charts, the fact remains that they still belong in this latter category simply because the majority of their populace lacks access to basic needs.

Two Extremes
In the US, I have seen personally from close quarters, the total disdain toward consumption of energy. While in Pune, we would turn off monitors, and lights and computers when we left for home, I would sigh in disgust at all the lights left turned on in the offices in Austin when people left for the weekend. While 2-wheelers and bicycles and bullock-carts jostle for a share of the road in Chennai, huge mini-trucks and SUVs and sports cars with a single occupant sped across the roads of Houston. Excessive demand for energy, has maintained energy costs low in the US, leading to a more ravaging misuse of greenhouse gas emitting fuels.

The poor nations are watching themselves hit by more floods than ever, bizarrely early melting of snow, onset of droughts in places that have never witnessed one for centuries, lashing typhoons and cyclones with a higher frequency than ever. One show to watch for real-life views into how major cities in the developing world are facing a sudden incidence of such problems is the BBC's Hot Cities series.

Why is it that the profligacy of the rich, is affecting the poor on the other side of the world? Because in our nationalism and selfishness, we easily forget that the Earth is an inter-linked, living-breathing, intricate system, and no one part can be unconnected from the rest. To understand this better, one must watch the brilliant documentary-movie "Home"

Skeptics of global warming thrive on statistics showing a fall in the average global temperature. But, hard facts from the lives of people who have lived in the same place for generations speak louder than numbers to me.

Moral Obligations
Some numbers speak loud enough though. Per capita emissions of carbon dioxide show US and Australia as the large industrialised nations that have been on the top for years. A more general list of per capita emissions of greenhouse gases tells the same story. The US accounts for 20% of global emissions. Granted China is ranked first on this last list at 21%, Chinese emissions have only grown rapidly in the last decade or so.

For a nation that claims to be driven by morals, and with Barack Obama, a Nobel Peace prize winner at the helm, one that increasingly sees itself as an idol and a system to emulate, the US seems to be falling way short when it comes to the issue of climate change. Forcing democracy across the world, which is an oxymoron by the way, claiming to punish war crimes by dictators, saving people from tyrants, the world waits to see what the US will do this time, for a crisis that seemingly affects everyone we know of. All this, while the climate change bill wrangles its way through the houses of representatives in Washington, D.C. with the world hoping it makes it through in time for Copenhagen.

Time To Act
The time for negotiations and arm-twisting is gone. The only thing nations can do now is act, and act fast. It isn't easy to cut emissions and still maintain living standards, which is why efforts must start sooner rather than later. For once, when the world really needed a leader, the US doesn't seem likely to step up to the mark, instead becoming the major stumbling block with the economic crisis acting as an alibi. Developing nations, facing the brunt of the climate change problems, are forced to deal with them already. Will the rich nations be humbled and shamed by the efforts of the poorer nations? Or will status quo preside and small non-obligatory deals be the only outcome from Copenhagen?

The Truths and Myths of Slumdog

2009-01-25T17:56:00.004-06:00

Never in my living days have I seen such interest in a movie based in India. The hype is unbelievable and it would not surprise me if it nabbed the Oscar for Best Director, besides the mostly certain nod for A.R.Rehman for his brilliant musical score. But has it really rung the right bells, tickled the right feathers, fluffed the right pillows with the messages it has sent out?

It's been a month now since I saw the movie. All the blurry images and the exciting sequences should have faded, and what's left must be indelible enough for a trustworthy review of this question. I watched this movie in New Jersey with a fairly dominant Caucasian crowd, and a few Indians (besides my relatives) seated in the last few rows. The "white folk" waited until the credits rolled to a close - each one of them - and applauded to no one in particular. The "desis" sneaked out before the lights turned on, clearly embarrassed by what had been depicted!

Separating The Grain From The Chaff

All Indians are fluent English speakers, albeit with an accent! - Myth. The movie was made for the Western audience. Clearly an overdose of sub-titles would have ruined the experience.

Primary schools run by the government primarily teach Classic English literature including The Three Musketeers. Myth. Primary government-run schools are lucky to have regular attendance from teachers, let alone students, and Three Musketeers is not a staple of the curriculum. Another of those facets palatable to a Western theme.

Slum-dwellers practice open defecation. Truth. Sadly, most of them do not even have the odd door to hide them from public view.

People stop what they are doing to watch "Who wants to be a millionaire". Truth. The Indian version of WWTBM actually reported the highest TRP ratings ever, as high as an Indo-Pak cricket match, for weeks together.

Bad guys grab kids off the street and mutilate them, before putting them to work as beggars. Truth. It is no coincidence that 4 out of 5 child beggars I encountered in Mumbai were either blind or handicapped. The occasional girl also carried a baby "brother" for added sympathy-value.

A Mercedes luxury car can be unscrewed apart in a mere matter of minutes. Truth. Oh yeah, that can definitely be done with a team of skilled hands! In some parts of Mumbai, a stolen car is dismantled even before a police report has been filed.

A band of Hindu activists attacked pockets of Muslim population with swords. Truth. Of course, there was a tit-for-tat too.

Commuters don't give a damn when a bunch of bad guys drag a woman off the trains. Truth. Too often has this proved to be true in a city like Mumbai, where everyone always has something more important to do.

It's All True!

When most of what we saw in the movie was true - and most people who have lived in Mumbai will testify to that - then why are so many Indians raging at this depiction? One reason is that the upwardly mobile and social elite are now shamed because the truth is out about the slums and poverty of the country, which is embedded even in one of the biggest cities of the world like Mumbai. To add to their misery, the direction and cinematography of the movie has been so colourful and fast-paced that it has got people hooked and sold them the story a dime a dozen. The story of the "real" India.

If we keep the hollow pride of these elite aside, one can hear the voices calling for moderation, for the complete picture. Although the movie only hinted at the glowing side of a progressive nation, the focus clearly was on the poverty, and the indomitable spirit of a slum child to rise above it.

The Whole Is The Sum Of The Parts?

No one can blame these critics either. The West has always loved its cliches. 20 years ago, India was a nation of moustachioed snake charmers, "turbanised" rope tricksters and beggars. Today, it is the nation of back-office tech geeks, call center operators and beggars. The Western media has been awash with stories of the roaring Indian Tiger and the fiery Chinese Dragon. I have had numerous personal experiences of the latent exasperation in Strangeland that boils up at success stories from South Asia. In a way, stories of poverty, true as they may be, gives them a much vaunted sense of vindication, that finally their suspicions and doubts have found a base to latch on to. No wonder then that the book of the year (Arvind Adiga's Booker prize winner The White Tiger) and most likely the movie of the year, had poverty and deprivation in India as their central theme.

To the world - Do realise that no single movie can show you the complete picture. More than half of India's populace is poverty-stricken, but not everyone is miserable. Nor is every other person in tech-support. It is a country of financial extremes, visible both in big cities and the remotest villages. You have to see it to understand it!

To fellow Indians - Stop caring what the world thinks anymore. That was Mahatma Gandhi's way too. Let our actions speak for themselves. If this leads to a little complacency from the rest of the world, that wouldn't hurt now, would it?

Reactive, Or Proactive?

2008-12-07T17:48:00.004-06:00

It was the 26th of November, and I had a day off work as I was flying out from Austin toward Newark to spend the Thanksgiving weekend with relatives from Mom's side. The news scene was calm when I left home. 6 hours later as I land in Newark shielded from the real world in the confines of my airplane, my sister calls up to tell me there has been a dramatic change, and looking at how the events unfolded since, it is clear not much will be the same again.

At the airport, people watched as CNN splashed pictures of a burning century old Taj hotel, by the side of which I have walked so many times, but never ventured in. Reports of a massive operation by infiltrators who breached the shores of India's financial capital, my home for over 17 years, using boats, poured in as I stared in shock. CST railway terminus, which was where we would get off to go watch a movie at Sterling or Regal, was splattered with bodies and bloody trails of cold-blooded murder. Of all the places attacked by the cowards, the brutal mindless slaughter at CST where 2 men with guns simply sprayed bullets and lobbed grenades into the 10PM crowd, hit me the hardest, although the Indian media begs to differ.

Global Exposure

Living in Strangeland at this time gives me a different perspective of the reaction to the attacks, one from the same country that faced its own attack on its financial hub on 9/11, and responded in kind, and more. The widespread coverage on CNN, all day long, over local US news really is unprecedented. It surprised me that they deemed it important enough to cover the story as it unfolds, given the apathy of Strangeland toward anything that does not concern themselves directly.

It was clear then that the terrorists had achieved their motives. Their blasts were loud enough to be heard all across the globe. They targeted foreigners to ensure the international media paid attention. Not many international businesspersons will see India as a secure place anymore, at least for a short time. Strangeland tried to find a link back to itself - the epicenter of global interest - as it always does. Theories tying the attacks to the change brought about by election of Obama were thrown around, but not for long. When the links to Pakistan were loud and clear, there was only one voice - Pakistan is a rogue state and at the crossroads of all terrorist activity in the world today.

Local Excesses

It is understandable that people are stunned, hurt and angry. I plead guilty of belonging to the same club myself for a while. People want action, immediate results and solutions, a boost to the confidence of walking freely again in their own streets. Television screens and newspapers and internet blogs are awash with nationalist fervour demanding instant karma, and booing the government for its inaction. The only problem is that there is no quick fix to this madness. It's hard to realise this when one is possessed by hatred, and emotions blur all sense of reason.

All it took for me, is my brother to ask a simple question - "So you think a war is the solution?". Going on a hunt to find and, to use Bush-speak, "smoke-out" the perpetrators of such violence will only make us exactly like these terrorists themselves. And who is to say this will have achieved anything, other than a false feeling of security? It can only breed more hatred against India, which most people in the world today see as a peaceful nation.

Lessons From The Recent Past

One only needs to look at Strangeland and their reaction after 9/11. Two heavily funded wars, thousands of soldiers lost, almost a trillion dollars burnt, economy in ruins, and what is the state of terror in the world today? Yes, the American shores haven't been breached since, but clearly, the war on America has moved elsewhere - Iraq. The deaths of thousands of innocent civilians in Iraq and Afghanistan do no good to the American image in the world - especially the Islamic population. How can Strangeland claim to be better today than the enemies it fights?

Einstein once said, although not related to this context, that "Problems cannot be solved at the same level of thinking that created them". How can we stoop down to the same violent tactics and mindless slaughter, in the quest to eliminate terror, that the terrorists themselves apply? Who is to say that since we claim to have better intentions and seek the greater good, we are more righteous in our actions? Is there a way to leave all the innocent people, who want nothing to do with these activities, out of this?

The Indian Way

There is only one way to tackle the problems India faces - the Indian Way. That is the way we fought for our freedom, and that is the attitude that ensures billions today still look up to India for its peaceful outlook. Just last week my cab driver from Ethiopia smiled back at the mention of my Homeland, because of his image of the country, and his interactions with his teachers who came all the way from India to teach in his schools.

The Indian Way does not mean we turn over the other cheek and wait for the next slap. Its essence lies in the statement - "Despise the action, not the doer". The problem of terrorism cannot be solved by finding and eliminating all the people involved. That is just too simplistic. One has to locate and weed out all the sentiments that lead to such inhuman acts and try to address them at the same time that we take steps to locate the actual actors involved.

Of course, if a war is forced upon us, we will fight like we have 4 times before, to protect our sovereignty. But, a war initiated as a remedy is not the solution, ever, to any problem. If anything, it sows the seeds of more problems for the future. With India's economy booming, and the world watching, do we want to bankroll a war and take ourselves back by 20 years? Won't a war really be a victory for those nasty terrorists who ploughed through Mumbai? The attack on the financial hub of India, will eventually have then led to its economic demise.

To sum it all up, here's a little incident. At a comedy club in New York, a few days after 26/11, the host found me, an Indian, in the audience and said "I can't understand why, when there are a billion of you guys, you don't just go over and kick Pakistan's ass". Everyone laughed. But we know the answer, right? Cos we are not Strangeland.

Destination Moon

2008-10-25T17:33:00.006-05:00

Another date was just added to the long list that Indians like to remember. Along with the birthdays of great leaders and deities, historic and mytholigical events, 22nd October 2008 will hopefully be another date that brings a glow to every proud Indian's face. For on this day, India joined the elite club of nations that have sent a mission to the Moon. Chandrayaan-I (which literally means "vehicle for the moon"), at the time of writing this, is in an orbit around the earth with an apogee of around 76,000 Kms, which will be increased in 3 more bursts to put it into the grasp of the Moon's gravity and subsequently in an orbit around the Moon.

The Moon? Why not Mars?

This was the first question shot back at me as I disclosed this well-kept secret to colleagues in Strangeland. Not surprised at the obliviousness to activities outside their "well". However, good question.

When the "Cold War in Space" was going on between Strangeland and erstwhile USSR and they were racing to get to the Moon, Indian scientists were still literally in their diapers trying to launch rockets that breach the atmosphere. After all, we were a young nation recently freed off Colonial rule and grappling with the teething problems like poverty, population control, self-reliant economy, that we still fight to this day. The Indian Space Research Organisation (ISRO) began by launching weather and communication satellites using the launch-services of other nations, and gradually perfected the art of launching satellites themselves with the Polar Satellite Launch Vehicle (PSLV), indigenously developed over the years.

It is clear that for a nation that does not have a free flow of green bills to fund research, a small, less risky step to establish itself in the space fiefdom is better suited than to blast its way into the "We've been to Mars" club. Former president Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam, a revered national hero and scientist, also urged ISRO to shoot a probe to the moon and mark the silver soil with an Indian flag, anticipating a race in the near future to exploit the Moon's resources. After all, the responsibility to tend to almost a sixth of the world's population requires such forward thinking, doesn't it?

Does a moon mission feed the hungry?

One of the boiling controversies around the world has been whether the $86m spent on the Chandrayaan-I mission is criminal given the fact that over 200m children in India are undernourished. I am not sure if these are comments from self-righteous trolls from the West who think they have a handle on all their social ills. Maybe it's burning envy that leads to such comments. It is too naive to look at things in such a narrow perspective. With this argument, India should also abandon all the huge sums of money spent on any kind of welfare like education and first ensure children don't die hungry. Agreed the problem is severe, but space research and technological progress are not antithetical to welfare.

Studies in Strangeland have shown that the huge amounts spent on NASA have more than paid back on the investments in terms of technological spur, motivation, and introduction of new economies around the sector that feed off the scientific advancements. A few years ago, bright Indians graduating from prestigious institutes would look around for opportunities, and shrug their shoulders and fly abroad to greener pastures. How many of those will now be forced to think twice, and be motivated instead to join institutes in India?

As for the Indians who oppose the money spent on Chandrayaan-I, I only have this to say. Stop watching cricket, feeding the mammoth economy that spins money around the sport, and wastes resources including time and moolah. Stop overpaying the whole cricket system, from the players to the babus. Where is the national pride in that sport anyway, however hollow? How many more children can be fed by sacrificing futile cricket investments?

Strangeland, strange response

The one news article I caught on CNN related to India's mission betrayed yet again the jingoism required here in Strangeland to maintain high confidence in the face of despair. Announcing the mission to the viewers, the news item quickly moved on to China's (the new communist foe to observe and overcome) recent space achievements, and asked why the US has stopped its missions to the Moon at a time when everyone else seems to be on the bandwagon. It was finally wrapped with a chest-thumping cry - "Cos we've been there, done that, almost 40 years ago!". Strangeland is clearly wary of the Tiger and the Dragon.

Here's wishing everyone involved in the mission to the Moon - you make us proud!

Ebony and Ivory, Mars and Venus

2008-10-04T19:07:00.007-05:00

My stint in Strangeland happens to coincide with one of the historic moments in Strangelandian history, and I get to witness first-hand some of the most remarkable events taking place as this nation tries to finally shed the image of an intolerant society when it comes to choosing the president. In one of my very early posts back in October 2005, I had ridiculed that the White House should really be renamed to the White Man House so that it becomes explicit who is allowed to become President of Strangeland.

Little was I to know that in less than 2 years since, both the words "White" and "Man" were about to be challenged like never before by Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. After Hillary's bitter acceptance of defeat, the Republican nominee John McCain, revived the interest she had generated in female voters by choosing Sarah Palin as his running mate. It is yet to be ascertained if at 72, McCain has the legs to run really, while Palin, having already announced herself as a "Hockey Mom" and "Pitbull" has made it clear for the record that she is willing and capable.

On The Stand

One thing that caught my eye was how the media is allowed - in fact they deemed it their right - to corner the candidates and put them on a pedestal dealing with all sorts of questions and responses on issues. In Homeland, in stark contrast, the politicians decide when and where they will speak to the mass public and what they will be willing to talk about. The media there is really no more than a pair of omni-present eyes and ears that notes every move and jots down every word they can get their hands on. We never get to know our leader up-close and personal. They are but a face behind the microphone, and it is upto us to sort through the truth from the unavoidable bag of lies.

Putting candidates on the stand brings out this other side which we don't see in rehearsed speeches written by stunningly skilled writers - responsiveness, reaction to questions and real issues without the luxury of peeking down on a piece of paper. I personally think that is very important to allow the voters to decide who they want to choose.

Foot-in-mouth, head-up-backside

Of course, one can only enjoy the obvious results of the reflex action tests that mediapersons put candidates through - the truths that slip out, the gaffes that they can't tie down. When that happens, hapless campaign managers have to come out and firefight to put the words into context and turn them on their head.

In this regard, I like to compare Palin to a mix of Govinda (MP from North Mumbai) and Laloo Prasad Yadav (Railway Minister in cabinet). When she calls herself one from the "small town" and "far away from the politics of Washington", I can only remember Govinda's election-winning catch-phrases like "Virar ka chokra". When she talks about her hunting and pets, memories of Laloo describing his morning chores involving milking the "bhains" inevitably shoot back. Who says Homeland politicians are obscure?

When it comes to lies, half-truths, dodging issues, walloping the opposing candidate, dirty scandalous tricks, I don't think Strangeland politics is far behind Homeland at all; only more transparent. Tons of TV shows on news channels and comedy networks pick up on these sly remarks and put them in perspective for all to see. For instance, John McCain is taped saying the "fundamentals of the economy are strong" and that he has no fears for it only 2 weeks before the Wall Street crash, when he then comes out to say "we are in the midst of the worst crisis" he has ever seen.

The debates

Another interesting aspect of the campaign here in Strangeland are the live, televised debates between the candidates. While the nation watches, the two of them fight it out for mass approval in 90 minutes of feverish argumentation. There are few better ways to analyse the candidates than simultaneously being able to weigh them against each other. Another advantage I am sure the voters in Homeland would love to be able to have. All we get are mass rallies, memorized lines and jingoistic slogans. A debate brings out the best and the worst in the candidate, shows you how strong they are, how smart they are, and how gracefully they can deal with heated discussions. I don't need to choose one of these candidates, so I simply enjoy the debates like only a Homelandian can.

In exactly one month's time, the ballot will be held and the verdict will be out. Hopefully, it will be the historic ballot that everyone looks forward to. As for Homeland, I really don't think it matters who wins. History shows that no matter who the President is in Strangeland, the foreign policy remains mostly along the same tangential - aggressive, self-serving and self-gratifying.

Select famous phrases from the candidates

"Do you know what the difference between a hockey mom and a pitbull is? It's Lipstick!" - Sarah Palin.

"Hillary Clinton is as qualified or more qualified than I am to be vice president of the United States of America. Quite frankly, it might have been a better pick than me." - Joe Biden.

"On this Memorial Day, as our nation honors its unbroken line of fallen heroes -- and I see many of them in the audience here today -- our sense of patriotism is particularly strong." - Barack Obama.

"It's easy for me to go to Washington and, frankly, be somewhat divorced from the day-to-day challenges people have." - John McCain.

"They're our next door neighbors and you can actually see Russia from land here in Alaska, from an island in Alaska." - Sarah Palin.

"As for that VP talk all the time, I'll tell you, I still can't answer that question until somebody answers for me what is it exactly that the VP does every day?" - Sarah Palin, before she was chosen to be the running mate.

"The role of the vice president is to break ties in the Senate and inquire daily into the health of the president." - John McCain.

Your Time Has Come

2008-08-10T17:06:00.005-05:00

After months of world-wide protests and questions about health safety, the 2008 Beijing Olympics finally kicked off. And what a kick-off it turned out to be! For the Western world, so sure of their dominance with technology and culture and virtues and basically everything, the opening ceremony itself was a kick below the belt, a rude awakening.

The Rise Of The Dragon

Not that China hasn't grabbed attention over the last few years. Phenomenal population growth and hitting the billion mark, were soon followed by a successful control in birth rates. Of course, how the control was achieved may have a dubious side or two of its own. Which brings us to the second most popular Chinese coverage in the media - human rights abuse. Reports about the second child being snatched away from hapless parents, anti-communist or pro-Tibetan protests being squashed without notice and general forceful adherence to communist policies have hogged the international media and portrayed China as a fire-spitting Dragon. The largest number of criminal executions in the world anywhere doesn't get missed either.

The most popular Western media coverage of China though stems from fear, a realisation deep within about the coming of a superpower like none before, but one which no one wants to accept completely. Statistics proving China is now the "circuit-board" of the world, leading in electronics, and generally any sort of manufacturing, are ably matched by numbers showing disproportionate growth in GDP and wealth, and eventually political clout and military might that the Dragon now wields. Everyone is looking behind their backs.

Whatever the reason, one thing is for sure. From a virtual nobody, China is on the world's lips and thoughts every single day now. Their presence is not taken for granted anymore.

Icing On The Cake

Gone are the days where the West enjoyed centuries of technological superiority on the back of the Industrial Revolution. Now, most manufacturing takes place in East Asia. A popular tag on products in the stores in the US reads - "Designed in the US. Made in China" - as if to reassure where the brains lie. Nevertheless, the Chinese have not only minted money from their manufacturing exploits, but also inherited skills that help them master technology on their own.

What better way to signal your intentions and abilities to the world than the Olympic Opening Ceremony, while everyone on the planet is tuned in. The magnificent display filled the senses of the viewers and everyone must have been left with a gaping wide-open jaw. Anyone who still thought of China as the land of cheap labourers, will not dare to think that again. Lights, organisation of massive proportions, sounds, colours, shadow-plays and marvels of modern technology intermingled with varied sights that gave a glimpse into the country's five thousand year cultural history and variety. It was like saying - "We have always been around, long before any of you were civilized. Now, we are ready to take the stage."

Homeland, Take a Cue

It is widely said that the next coming would be that of India's. Homeland will soon be 61 years old - young enough to justify it's lag - but another nation whose time is almost here. After China, the Indian Tiger gets second-best media coverage in the West. But, it is not one of utter fear, but rather one of upheaval of the backward. A story of rags to riches, as opposed to lust for universal fiefdom.

I wonder how India will send its message out when it wants to announce to the world that there is a new kid on the block. History however, gives us enough clues. Homeland has never been boisterous. The messages are always subtle, and India has always preferred a gradual flowing change as opposed to a sharp transition. So eventually, I believe when its time comes, people will not be shocked but instead accept it as fate that awaited. However, I do hope there are a few little stunning moves in the midst. I anxiously look forward to the lunar-probe mission - Chandrayaan-1 - later this year. No one expected India to come this close to such a massive step, indigenously, only a few years after Independence. It's all been hush-hush, but when its time to blast off, I hope it isn't!

Fear Translates to Hate
A few months ago, I walked into a barbershop (hair saloon for the unconventional) in Strangeland. The media was whipping China's backside for toxic levels of lead in Chinese toys (80% of toys in the world are Chinese!) at the time. A mom was helping her 7 year old with his homework - an essay on toys - while she waited her turn. Seeing me walk in, she somehow felt like I needed chastising, and asked her son to read aloud what he had written. He read aloud - "I love playing with toys when I come from school. However, recently, I learnt it is not safe to play anymore. The Chinese toys are poisonous. China makes bad toys, and everything they make is bad. They should stop making things and we should stop buying from them." The mom gave him a mini-applause, both obviously needing a lesson in global economics, and of course, English essay writing. By the way, do I look like I am Chinese?

Stranger In A Strangeland - Part II

2008-07-20T01:06:00.005-05:00

Another brave soul landed on the shores of Strangeland on April 6 last year, hoping the experience of working here will turn his career around. I must have surprised myself when events took their turn in such a mysterious manner to push me on that Air France flight to Strangeland, for my second, but extended, stint. Surprising because most people close to me know that I despised the idea of working here, and swore never to follow the Patel family troops to the land of opportunity. I have always maintained the haves are hypocrites who are certain the have-nots are simply either "not bright enough" or lazy, and that Strangeland is the outstanding example. Why would I want to work for them?

Yet, events like becoming a Computer Engineer, and then getting a Master's degree, joining the IT services industry, and ending up on the project I worked on have conspired to make me go against myself. After 1 year and 3 months, I felt it was time to take stock!

Why Am I Here?

The same reason why I am not a physicist or an astronomer today. Popular choice. I don't blame anyone, not my peers, not even myself. When I was 18, I somehow weighed up spending long years earning a PhD against starting to earn within 4 years in the IT industry, and the financial implications made sense. You just go with the flow after that. Working as a software engineer in India, it is only a matter of time before you get the chance to come down to Strangeland. Of course, you do need to be in the sweatshop business serving Strangelandians.

How Do I Feel?

Lonely.

Lonely because I miss my family and my friends from my student-life. Once you leave all this behind, you start to realise what they meant to you, and that you just took these things for granted. I feel damn lucky to have such friends as I once had in Kandivli, a bustling suburb stuck away in the crowds of Mumbai. In a way, what I never once experienced amongst my own for 24 years, I am now suddenly exposed to.

Confused.

The confusion arises from all those questions my idle mind is now starting to ask.

"What do you want to do with your life?"

"Is there any purpose to all that you do with your struggles at work and the daily chores?"

"Should I believe the Bhagavad Gita and blindly carry on my work, because there is nothing else to life other than fulfilling your purpose, your work (karma yoga)?"

Amused.

Low-rise skirts, shorts, tons of make-up, short-trim - all of these can be found in Homeland too. You just have to walk into a mall in one of the big cities. Yet there are things that amuse and surprise me everyday.

You see 4 in 5 women flaunting tresses that don't defy gravity and simply fall straight down in neat parallel lines. How many of those are natural!?

The smiles when they pass you at the grocers - where the corners of the lips move outwards, not upwards - an unwarranted pleasantry.

Ladies pulling out the mirror and make-up kit when the car is waiting at the traffic light, for barely 30 seconds.

Answering questions about where I get my protein from, if I "only eat vegetables". And, "What the hell are pulses/lentils?" or "So fish is not vegetarian?"

Enlightened.

Working with a bunch of 40-year olds is quite a treat. They seem to anticipate everything, and can map previous experiences into current situations and rationalize solutions so well. They finally have stopped treating me like a baby, so that's a good sign. I have also found a few itchy genes that make me want to cook various dishes over the week - surely a gift from my mom! I read more books like I used to when I was in school, and re-living that experience is a joy. Ok, so that's not an enlightening, but I sure have discovered stuff about myself in this little journey.

What have I inherited?

I now sport a really short-trimmed mane, although that was more the fault of the first time a male barber chopped my hair off in Strangeland. He was in a kind of hurry that I have only before witnessed in commuters in Mumbai ambling hurriedly to catch the 6.03PM Borivli Fast local train. Contact me for pictures if you want to amuse yourself. The sad part is, I now seem to like this trim!

I walk to work everyday, which is an arduous task when the temperatures are touching 40 degrees Celsius (me no understand Fahrenheit yet), and it gives me an excuse to wear shorts, "cos they are comfortable". Oh, they sure are and I can't seem to make myself wear jeans anymore! I even pranced around Bangaluru in shorts this April.

A work ethic totally different from what I witnessed in Homeland. The good part is, you only work in the workplace and dedicate all your energy to work while you are there. The bad part is, you never develop any personal relations with any of the office folk, and every relation is "strictly professional".

All in all

Eventually, I do feel less of a Stranger in this Strangeland, partly because I have inherited some Strangelandian qualities. And thankfully, I have learnt things about myself that I never had the time to discover.

Don't Judge Me!

2008-06-29T18:19:00.005-05:00

It's the easiest job in the world for me. Judging other people, their behaviour, their performances, their actions. It's the one task where you need no certification for the role, simply privilege of position. You stand to lose nothing as a judge, while the judged stand to lose everything. You need no tools or statistics to guide you, only a personal point of view. How easier can it get? Everyday, we expose ourselves to the world, where every step we take is watched, each failure we encounter is counted, every shortcoming we disclose is noticed. The society is divided into two buckets - winners and losers - and who wants to be in the losers bucket?

When did living become synonymous with winning? When did tryers become synonymous with losers? I am not sure. Maybe as I was growing up?

My Judge is a Superstar

I recently read a disturbing news item, where a teenage girl, with an established dance background, walked into a TV show for performing in a televised contest, and was rebuked by the "star" judges for her performance. Young minds don't need this kind of treatment, not in front of millions of vicarious hounds sitting in front of their TV sets, waiting for someone to slip-up and be virtually slapped in public. Yeah, this is entertainment, alright. Ask the parents of the girl, as they wait in agony day and night at the hospital, awaiting their daughter to come out of shock which has dragged her into post-depression semi-paralysis and muteness.

Shows in the West often add spice by adding high-profile judges who are given liberty to exercise no restraint on verbal extremities when chiding a contestant. It makes great prime-time television as you watch the wheat separated from the chaff, and the chaff gets a nice whack on the stone in the process too. Shows like American Idol, The Apprentice, Hell's Kitchen and numerous other reality-based shows have grabbed the attention of eyeballs and eardrums by thumping participants in public. If you are good, you are showered in gold. If you are less than good, you are soaked in manure, thrown into a pig-sty, and left to dry in the hot sun. It's sad to see, these kind of barbaric television antics are being fed to entertainment-hungry Indians too now. And how they are lapping it all up!

Who are you to wave your finger?

Who defines "good"? How do you know how far less than good is considered bad? Is a successful endeavour one where a single person excels and the whole world is left in awe, or one where no single person wins and everyone ends up better for the effort? The premise of judgement is so murky and left to individual perspectives, one is surprised why we give it so much importance in our daily lives.

Why do I get affected when someone glances scornfully at my attire? Fashion to one, is rags to the other.
Why are grades in school given more weight than what the student actually learns? We all know Einsteins are not produced in schools.
When did overcoming stage-fear and putting up a public performance start producing rebuke instead of applause? When I was a kid, you were a winner even if you stood mute on the stage and walked out when the bell rang.

If I continue listing all the judgement one has to face in a lifetime, I could write a book on it. The real question is, why are we, as humans, both ready to dish out verdicts and to succumb under their burden? More importantly, why do we let every single person who cares to judge us, judge us? Just because they achieved something which is noteworthy? Just because that is how they command respect? Oh how great it must feel to tell someone what you think of them and then bask in the thoughts that she will be better for it, for setbacks trigger fightbacks to success!

I Will Be The Judge Now

Here, then is my verdict! It is the natural tendency of a competitive human species to push down the others when they themselves feel threatened. Sometimes, pushing down the weak, makes the strong feel stronger. Sometimes, they stand up and "frankly" point out weaknesses, believing it will earn them respect. We have to learn to accept this nature, and have a strong filter to only let through those statements that matter. Building the filter itself, is an act that can take a lifetime, but we can get to work on it today.

I should admit, for all that I write here, I have been known to be highly susceptible to negative feedback, and hugely reliant on positive ones. But, I believe I have learnt a lot in the process. The simplest way is to only trust feedback from the ones you know really care about you - your family and the closest friends in whom you can always confide in. It's true that there could be so much feedback you miss out on because not everyone in your circle is good at everything, and can comment on everything. But, one will learn in time to tune their ears to the right feedback, both positive and negative, from all around. It is always important to know that negative feedback should never affect your spirits, and should only be treated as course-correction at best, not a disaster of titanic proportions.

What is sad though, is that many a time, I have witnessed parents push their children past the limits to pedestals where they are exposed to such chiding. Victory is sometimes more important for the parents, than for the kid. Where can a youngster hide, if eventually, he has to face the wrath of his father for losing a tennis match or the ladle of her mom for slipping during the dance recital? For people to be safe of all that is bad in the world, there needs to be a home that they can always be accepted in, without any judging. Without that, no filter will ever be good enough.

Nevertheless, it helps to remember, if there's one thing Einstein has taught us, it is that everything the human mind can discern is relative, and nothing in that realm is absolute. Judgements too, are after all, creations of the human mind.

The Oranje Locomotive

2008-06-15T16:53:00.006-05:00

The Oranje Locomotive is hurtling down the tracks at Euro 2008 and crushing everything that comes in its way!

Yes, the UEFA Euro 2008 football competition is underway (and there is no way you will make me call it Soccer) and the draw pitted three of European football's giants in the same group, which then had to be called, in a rather cliched fashion, the Group of Death. World Cup champions Italy, Runners-up France and the mighty Netherlands were all drawn together in Group C, alongside Romania, who for all their underdog tags, did of course win their qualifying group ahead of the Dutch. All eyes were on this group to produce the tight games and nerve-wrecking climaxes. However, it has been a let-down in that respect! But, thrown at us, especially those of us who were born after the Johan Cruyff era, an exhibition of Total Football from the nation that invented it, but has rarely been able to put together in recent times.

The Colour

When I was a kid, I would be asked to pick a favourite colour, and I would always plump for Orange. I believe it must have been the striking flashiness, and the unconventional nature of the colour, that caught my roving eye. I was distraught there was no "Orange house" (a house is like a fraternity) in my primary school, while they had Red, Yellow, Green and Blue. I did choose the closest colour house of course, Red. I would always paint my Suns a bright orange, and never a yellow.

Little wonder then, that when I was first exposed to a football World Cup, I took a look at the jerseys the Dutch put on, and I elected to be a fan. If there is one thing about Orange, it is that it never goes unnoticed. And I read in the football history books, that the same could be said of some of the football the Oranje had played - easy on the eye, exciting and attacking from the back. I needed no more reassuring, especially given Homeland was, and still is, decades away from qualifying.

Total Football

The concept of Total Football is very Dutch. The team is composed of 11 players who are all technically able to pick out passes and have supreme ball control skills. This enables even the defenders to start pushing from the back, defending high up the field, and playing a crucial part in the attack. Why attack with 6 when you can as well attack with 10? The full-backs are as good wingers, as they are defenders. The midfield will have a couple of master technicians and the frontmen will be clinical finishers. When all of this works, oh, what joy it is to watch!

Sadly, ever since I started following the Dutch at major tournaments, they have been mostly disappointing. The Total Football has not been as brilliant, or sometimes missing, and they have on occasion failed to even qualify for the big-uns. But, come Euro 2008, that has all turned around on a heel.

Teed up against World Cup winners Italy, and arguably the best defence in World football, they gave them a 3-0 drubbing. The latter two goals bore fruit from swift counter-attack manoeuvres, where Italy came ever-so-close to scoring themselves, but instead of heaving a sigh of relief, the Dutch decided to break forward and punish them, and they scored within 20 seconds of the chance at the other end. Those goals were phenomenal, and lightning fast, built with team work and individual skills and pace, and clinical finishing. Coach Marco Van Basten, a clinical finisher himself, from the excellent Dutch team of the 80s, must have been proud.

The show continued, as World Cup runners-up France, hoped to prove the Oranje were a one-hit wonder, but instead got a lesson themselves. This time, the scoreline read 4-1.

The players

It wasn't all looking rosy (of course, the rose here is Orange too), for the Dutch prior to the tournament. Yes, they qualified comfortably, but did not win their group. Nor did they stir up a hornet's nest with their performances. There were grumbles all over the Dutch media and fans were not happy with the way the team was shaping up. They qualified with not only the least goals conceded, but also the least scored. That doesn't sound Dutch at all.

However, once the tournament kicked off, the young stars all came to life, wanting to prove why they are in the Dutch team! Youngsters Rafael Van Der Vaart, Wesley Sneijder and Arjen Robben have been the orchestrators from midfield, while the aging star Ruud Van Nistelrooy still puts them away up front. Robin Van Persie looks a promising striker himself. But, most surprising has been the performance of Giovani Van Bronkchorst, who has been springing forward from left-back whenever he can, and not just putting in the final cross, but also scoring himself. He looks a shadow of the player that left Arsenal, and then Barcelona, a few years ago. And so does Khalid Boulahrouz on the right, who hardly won fans over at Chelsea a season ago.

It must be the coach, Van Basten, who is motivating this team with so many young performers, toward glory. He's been there with the greats - Johan Cruyff, Ruud Gullit, Frank Rijkaard - and been a part of a team that excelled at Total Football. He knows how important it is to peak at the right team for a competition as big as this, and most importantly, knows how to win, Even if they do not win the cup, they have surely won over a few more fans who will not be shy to wear Oranje anymore!

An IIT for a vote

2008-06-01T08:12:00.008-05:00

It sounds incredible - 20 years of education. I seem to have spent the major portion of my life "occupied" as a student in the schools and colleges of Homeland. I have studied in 3 different schools, one junior college, one engineering college and finally an IIT.

As I look back, how many teachers jump to mind that make you feel proud for even being in their presence? How many moments can I recollect from these institutes where I went 'A-ha' because I grasped something magical? How much did we actually learn from this huge investment of our lives, other than the stuff we crammed in from text books just to regurgitate it out on the exam papers? What did we finally earn other than glorious degree certificates, that do not say we know something, but that we made the examiner believe we do? Did we undergo higher education, or was it just "hire" education?

Textbooks - A student's best friend?

Teaching to the book. Sticking to the curriculum. Covering the syllabus in time. These are "mantras" I have seen most teachers in my life follow. My experiences might be too specific; perhaps down to the choice of schools I went to. But, I am in no doubt as to why I learnt nothing at school, but more from the Time-Life series of Illustrated Encyclopedia and the World Book Encyclopedia. The textbooks served up facts in a totally unmotivating fashion, while these other books encouraged you to do experiments and learn for yourself. Isn't that the best way to learn - doing stuff?

Aren't textbooks merely meant to be guides to what a kid needs to learn? Why then do schools stick to only cramming little heads with sequence of words from a textbook, when they don't understand the sentence? Doesn't that show them the trees in the forest, without them knowing they are looking at a forest? And that there are more trees they would never be shown unless they tread forward on their own?

Quantity not quality

One of the problems, especially in higher education, is the fact that the HRD (Human Resources Development) or the Education ministry, needs to show numbers. "A million graduate seats over the country, half a million engineering graduates, fifty thousand engineering post-grads. Ok, that meets the demand. Students are happy, industry is happy." I have personally watched the number of engineering seats, in Maharashtra alone, multiply over the years, as new colleges get immediate sanction and mushroom all over the place. I watched as folks two years senior struggled to get admitted, and again watched a few years later as most who wanted a seat did get one, albeit in remotely accessible, poorly developed institutes.

The colleges that sprout up all over the country, do not all meet the high standards setup by the AICTE, but still get sanction by pressure from politicians that back them. Some of these colleges are blatantly named after politicians or their mentors, and there is nothing left to one's imagination as to why they are still standing. Higher education is good business.

Take my engineering college for example. Facility-wise, it was among the best around. Splendid class rooms, well-equipped labs, and a sparkling building that reminds one of a four-star hotel. When the classes begin, some teachers fumble around calling a "semi-colon" a "semi-comma", while others just leave us in awe, not because they are exemplary, but because they are only a couple of years older than we are. In four years, I can remember maybe two lecturers who stood to gain my respect, and that is poor considering I sat through at least twenty different lecturers.

Notably, the Commission on Growth and Development, in its report on Strategies for Sustained Growth and Development noted as one of the essential "sins" that economies that fail to sustain growth commit - "Measuring educational progress solely by the construction of school infrastructure or higher enrollments, instead of focusing on the extent of learning."

Haste is waste

Of the 20 years of education, I can say without doubt that the culminating final two years were simply the best. I would say that of the 15-odd professors I learnt from, maybe two weren't impressive enough, but you still respected them. The rest, just blow you away with their delivery styles and the grasp of their subjects. You get absorbed into the lectures and you want to solve their assignments because you are enjoying the learning experience. Simply put, even for a Master's graduate, IIT is definitely the best place to be at if you want to study in Homeland. The atmosphere, the culture, the class-mates, the teachers, the facilities are out of this world. And everyone deserves to get that experience before diving into the rat race of the real world.

That said, there is a reason why those institutes are so good today. Pandit Nehru saw a dream once that India would be self-sufficient in science and technology, and nurtured the IIT system as a means to fulfill his dream. It is over the years that IIT has learnt to adapt itself and become an institute of world renown. Today, most of them are self-sufficient and do not depend on huge government grants. But, to think that the formula can be replicated overnight to meet the growing demand, seems farcical. It reeks of the same desperate numbers game that saw poor third-rate engineering colleges mushroom in the first place.

It will take years before the new IITs can come up to speed with the rest. Assigning mentor IITs to each of the 6 new IITs is not a solution. Professors, labs, computers, hostels, hell even classrooms aren't ready. Sites for 2 of the IITs are not yet finalised, but soon students may be getting admitted to them.

None of the IIT directors have a say, as they didn't when the controversial quotas were implemented, which in fact, seems to be the sole reason behind this hastiness. The government had an election-manifesto promise of implementing 27% OBC quota in higher institutes of knowledge, and to implement that in the IITs before the coming election early next year, is a way to salvage pride. At what cost? Will the standards associated with the IITs still hold? Or will they be politicised and entrapped in gimmicks too?

Everyday is Mother's Day

2008-05-11T13:59:00.004-05:00

Greeting card manufacturers, gift franchises, flower shops are all gung-ho again today. Another day where people are forced to buy cards, mugs for the World's greatest mom, and roses just so that they aren't left out. Popular restaurants and getaways will also be on family radars for sons and daughters today. Conveniently placed on a Sunday, Mother's Day is here again. One chance for a Mom to feel special; One chance for the offspring to show they care - no one is missing out.

I have never believed in such occasions. You don't need one day every year to show someone you love them. Leaving it to the one day to do something special is deplorable, and judging someone on their actions on this day is even worse. But, I now realise, that in the race of life, which all of us know underneath is pointless, and the pursuit of something we crave for and will most likely never get, we tend to forget the basic foundations our lives were built on. These days atleast bring us back to them, if only once a year. Today then, is Mother's day.

Mom and her Fan club

All my closest friends, who spent hours at my home watching cricket or playing games in the searing heat of summer or the merciless showers of the monsoon, are big fans of my mum. They'd all call her Aunty and I never saw a shadow of disrespect or any other negative vibes from them for her ever. And why not; mom always looked after them as if they were her own. We would all get hot tea and pakoras in the rain, and cold fresh juices in summer. So often, they would stay back for lunch or dinner even though there was a meal waiting back home. I would feel jealous at times at the attention they got!

Even the grown-ups weren't far behind in reverence, even though they are so much more absorbed in egos and jealousy and all that kids only grow up to learn. The "aunties" were always coming to her with anything - be it some problem in the family (which I could make out due to the sudden hushing of tones), or need for a recipe to please the in-laws, or even sharing gossip (again identified by hushed tones interspersed with loud, obnoxious laughter!). The "uncles" knew that she was very aware of political happenings at dad's workplace and also current news affairs from the papers, and a chat at the front door while mom waited for dad to come home while they waited for the elevator to descend, was always a welcome respite.

The ultimate sponge

I have never known anyone in my few years on earth who has absorbed and learnt so much in her life. She can put up with anything and picks up on even every little thing she can. In the kitchen, where she spends hours everyday making feasts for us, she is 'The Queen'. In her miniature pint-sized kitchens, she cooks up meals I have never managed to get anywhere else. Mughlai, Chettinad, Udipi, Mexican, Sri Lankan, Chinese, Italian - are just a few of the cuisines she has tried, with loads of success.

For years, she was shy of the computer. No, wait; the word is scared. She imagined she would hit a button and it would blow up in smoke! But, when I left home to arrive in Strangeland, mom reached out to the computer to connect back with her son. Starting with emails with punctuation sprayed all over, but well-guided by my brother, she now logs on every morning and has a long chat with me and other relatives she meets online. It's easy to forget, she was born and educated in an age where a computer was a machine that filled a whole room, while I place one on my lap everyday.

Politics, global happenings, astronomy, gastronomy, religion, spirituality, health, economics, languages, are topics she delves into everyday, and she picks up on them whenever she can spare the time from her chores. If you want an opinion, rest assured Mom always has one.

I don't know anyone else who can speak as many languages as her. Gujarati with the Gujju, Marathi with the Marathi, Telugu with the Andhraite, Tamizh with the Tamizhilian. English, Tulu, Kannada, Hindi are other languages she is fluent at, while with Bengali and Malayalam she can fool one to believe she actually does speak them fluently.

Everything I Am

I have learnt to face problems, stand strong, be truthful and honest, hard-working and loyal, from my parents. Whether I am really good at applying everything I have learnt is not for me to judge. Mom has especially taught me compassion and respectfulness, and to never think oneself weak. She may not think much of her achievements in life, but she has no idea how much I have picked up from the way she has fought for everything she believed in. Being a woman in India, especially back then, and living in a patriarchal society, and still doing whatever she has, is no mean feat.

I pity those other kids who do not get attention from their mothers, who are busy in their alternate lives. My throat swells up with fear when I imagine myself in that place. I have always had mom around, and even though it may not be obvious to her, it has always been great to have her around. All my problems would disappear in an instant. They only started stacking up when I grew up and hardly reached out to her. But when I returned, I saw a different side of my mom. I had grown up to be over 20, but she had adapted herself to be a companion to a 20 year old too. Now, how many moms can do that?

She has in fact set such high standards of parenting and caring, that I fear I will absolutely never be able to live up to that, whenever my turn comes. Selflessness and sacrifice are two words I am yet to learn. Hopefully, I will learn that from her too.

Everyday I live, it is Mother's Day and Father's Day, for without them, there is no me.

Free Rice

2007-11-11T00:34:00.000-06:00

Just today, I found out about this website, funnily called Free Rice, and intriguingly ventured in to see what all the fuss is about. Pretty soon I realised that although it does present itself as a way to have some fun, the ulterior motives are anything but. It is part of a small movement which not only makes people aware of the problems of World Poverty and the everyday fight for survival the world's poor have to live through, but also tries to do its bit in letting the more gifted countries and average joes like us play a part in helping the ones who can't even aspire to a square meal a day.

Online Ration Shop

If you haven't clicked either of those hyperlinks above yet, I urge you to. Free Rice is a really innovative way they have found to help the hungry in the world get some access to food. It presents a simple website that fires vocabulary questions at you, and donates 10 grains of rice for every correct answer. It is a novel concept where you can help even as you pass time and sharpen your linguistic skills. Right now, it's only in English, but I do hope, given how the poverty problem is a world-wide phenomenon, they do support other languages too. If you are wondering why "only 10 grains" and why "do we need to play to donate", they have answers in the FAQ section. Basically, advertisers get to put their logos up next to the questions, and they in turn do the actual donations through the United Nations World Food Programme.

Hunger As A Shock
When one makes it to the parent website, the index page presents itself as a shock-effect (nothing to do with shockwave!). You should see for yourself. But, the core message is that around 25000 people die each day for want of food, and most of them, expectedly, are kids, who cannot bear the anguish long enough to wait it out for the next meal, whenever that is.

It is pathetic when I realise, I just had a plate full of rice myself. There is no corner in my belly that could hold another grain. But, there are kids out there who just don't have the same liberties. Kids who would eat cooked plain rice just like that if they got some, while I crib at Mom for only making a Daal to go with it, and no sabji. It is even more pathetic to see people waste food, throw it in the bins, eat so much more than they need to. I am always proud my Mom taught me not to waste food since I was little, and she would always give me the example of the little kid who was begging at the railway station, who for all certainty, did not get a full meal that night.

How can ONE make a difference?

We have all heard those stories about little deeds that matter, how the sea is ultimately composed of little drops (boond boond se sagar). But I, for one, have never seen it in common practice. At my college hostel, the flattering government's Human Resource Development department showered excesses on us, so that we would have tons of food present itself every day at our disposal. Hundreds of students would stuff their big plates with food, more than they could ever eat. And obviously, throw away that they couldn't eat. Every one of those plates could have fed another hungry child. When my employer started giving away free food, I saw more of the same again. I have heard all kinds of responses when I tried to rebuke them -
"Man, that food isn't any good. Those kids you are talking about, I am doing a favour so they don't eat this and fall sick."

"You talk about poverty! I myself hail from a far-off village. My parents struggle from meal to meal. I think I would know if not throwing this food away made a difference!"

"How can one person like me make a world of difference for the hungry? If I stop, there are others who still go on relentless."

It is truly ridiculous. And to think, these are once again, comments from the "cream" of the brilliant minds of the nation. It's true - when you don't have the problem, you don't realise its seriousness. The noteworthy thing is, when the food was not free, I never saw the same wastage.

Where Does The Food Go?

From individuals onto nations. Such a large part of the Western world is noted as developed, and none of their denizens (picked that word from the vocab quiz at Free Rice!) have to worry about the problem of hunger. I don't like to say this, but it is a glaring fact. I see the homeless here in Strangeland, and they are out on the streets begging, but mind you, a number of them are, to say it lightly, well-fed. I compare this to the beggars back home, and it is distinctly obvious they are begging so they can quell the burning fires in the pits of their stomachs.

I had taken a course in college on "Globalisation and the Modern World" or something like that. I don't remember the name of the course or much of its contents, which is obvious given my profession, and the fact that we were forced to take the course! But, some ideas from the course stuck. One of them was the problem of hunger.

Poverty.com makes an important statement on its front page which I had learnt in the course too - "there is plenty of food in the world for everyone. The problem is that hungry people are trapped in severe poverty." Isn't that remarkable? Where does all that extra food go? The rich nations have more than enough food for themselves. But, they bargain to make that extra buck when exporting to the poorer nations. So, a lot of the food rots in storage warehouses. Their own citizens get food on the cheap, and the prosperity literally shows.

There is so much diplomatic politics in play at the global level, that I should really leave that for some other time. But, the bottom line is, no one cares enough for the fact that people, even in this day and age, die of hunger.

The Larger Perspective

It is obvious that the richer nations can do their bit to help erase poverty. Poverty.com estimates that $195 billion needs to be allocated every year to eradicate the deaths caused due to hunger. That may seem a big amount, but it really is only a fraction of the GDP of most of these prosperous nations in question. If only they cared enough about humanity, and not about less trivial issues. Oh, wait, the "Fight Against Terror" has to be more important. It frees the world of "bad people", in the words of the famous Strangeland Kid.

International Aid statistics show that while 189 members of the UN promised to dedicate 0.7% of their yearly income toward eradication of poverty and hunger, only 5 have reached the mark so far. Some of the economic superpowers, have been found to be seriously lacking in their contribution. Take Strangeland for instance. They have managed 0.17% so far. Now compare that to their Military budget - a whopping $532.8 billion. And that does not include spending on nuclear research or, even the spending on the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. Enough said.

Bottomline again. If only everyone contributed their mere 0.7% share, the world would already be a better place.

I don't claim to be doing anything myself about this. But, I can say for one, atleast I only cook as much as I can eat, and eat everything I cook. I try never to waste my food, in the hope that, the food I saved from wastage, might end up somehow in someone else's plate who needs it more than the garbage bin. Can you do your bit?

Where Am I?

2007-10-06T15:54:00.000-05:00

That was my first reaction when I first heard what was going on right outside my front door - to ask myself where I am. Because this isn't a scene I have witnessed before. I was chatting with my buddy Ashwin, and it was 1am at night here in Austin, and he was surprised when I asked him too - Where Am I? Call me naive, but I have never heard this kinda talk in my life before.

The Conversation

Girl A : Yayyy...here comes the birthday girl! And here is her birthday boy, her birthday gift.

Girl B : This is a birthday party? Awww..you should have told me. I just got a fresh stash yesterday. We could have smoked some pot tonight. Hey, have you done it before?

Birthday Girl : Nope.

Girl B : Aww...my friend here..what's your name?..

Birthday Girl : Gina.

Girl B : Yeah, Gina, here has never done it before people. Do we still have time?

Boy C : Heyyyy..is that Cigga-weed?... Ha? ...Ha? How come you are doing it alone. Come on give me some.

Girl B : C'mon Gina. Give it a shot. It's just marijuana. It's clinically approved.

Loud cheers sound out.

What is so weird?

Well, I have never had friends that indulge in such acts. Never. Neither have I ever been in the neighbourhood of such activities all my life. No wonder then that this incident, happening right outside my door, late at night, with some of the people that poured out of the loud, obnoxious party next door, gave me a little shock.

Except at work and at the stores, I hardly interact with StrangeLandians here. Atleast, most of my friendly chats are limited to Indians, and that made me feel I am still in India, to some extent. But, this kinda jolted me back to reality. It's hard to escape this here in StrangeLand, no matter where you live, what with the "fresh stash" apparently available freely.

Is India clean?

With all the overnight prosperity HomeLand is seeing, with bloated salaries and extravagant lifestyles, which is only true of the urban classes, how far can we be from this way of life? A life where your only intention is to live happily, with no consideration to morals and with no attachment to one's culture that parents try hard to inculcate. "What I like, is what I shall do."

With both parents increasingly deciding to take up full-time jobs to support the family's lavish needs, kids are thrust relatively early into life on their own, with no protection whatsoever of the parent's guiding words to keep them away from vices. I have lived in Pune, and witnessed how a mass of young students and highly-paid young professionals exploit their new-found freedom. Exposed to the western way of life on TV, chat shows, tabloids, gloss magazines, movies, they are beginning to discover what they are missing out on, in life. The old adage, "You only have one life" is beaten to death to explain all the vices one will indulge into.

I have encountered people who acknowledge, very openly, that they are into smoking gaanja, or marijuana, right there in Pune. I have heard them talk about finding their way through the police bandobast to get their hands on some "maal" for the weekend. They are even known to make the cigga-weed mentioned above and present it as a cigarette to unsuspecting friends, to help them grow their circle; you know, increase the demand, so that the supply chain stays strong.

Not too long ago, a rave party was organised in the outskirts of Pune, apparently by a drug-dealer, and it lured over 250 youngsters from Mumbai and Pune, all having cash and the will to have a good time. They were rounded up by the cops, and a few kilograms of stuff, a large stack of alcohol, and a couple hundred condoms, were recovered from the site. The worst aspect of this was that a large number of them were under 18. And, where were all the logistics finalised and people invited? The friendly neighbourhood social community - Orkut. No, we aren't too far behind in HomeLand ourselves.

Ok, now Where Am I Going?

I have no right to comment on what people do, and what they shouldn't. But, if there are laws against some activities, and are widely approved, I believe they were meant to maintain order. And to provide security to the innocent little kids who can be dragged into this way of life, especially when there is a parent who isn't keeping tabs on their offspring. Freedom and having fun, is very good. One empowers you and prepares you for the life ahead, and the other, gives life a certain refreshment to keep you chugging along.

But, there is only one end to all this. A shorter life. Losing touch with life itself, and ending up disillusioned about its purpose. Losing your parents, your family, and ending up with friends that do fill up your holes enough, but are only around as long as you are like them - high.

I am worried, and only because I have now seen with my own eyes how HomeLand is transforming. With all the good that is happening in the country, slowly sneaking up, unnoticed or ignored, behind all the limelight, is this evil, the unmistakable side-effect of growing prosperity. I fear for whether my country will end up being exactly what I hate about StrangeLand. I fear we are too quickly replacing thousands of years of heritage with the brash attitudes of the West, instead of letting the natural confluence of the cultures happen to bring out the best in them. Is HomeLand growing too fast for its own good?

Expression or Repression?

2007-09-16T15:18:00.000-05:00

The other day I was reading about another (yet another, really) public outcry in the Islamic nations against a cartoon depicting Prophet Mohammad. Another cartoonist, who either doesn't understand the religious sentiments that are tied to this act of depicting the Prophet pictorially, or doesn't think that anything is beyond his freedom of expression, has "blasphemed". He was so ignorant, that he went to the extent of using a dog's body to describe the Prophet. Free press? A few people laughing? To be frank, I miss the point really. Especially, when there will be a few readers laughing, but a lot more boiling over.

Free Press in the West

The Western world really give utmost importance to the word "Freedom". I don't know how many of them really understand what it means, but they demand it anyway. Honestly, I believe that you don't know what freedom is, until someone has taken it away from you, be-shackled you. What proportion of the Western world can claim to have been there, I am not certain. The press especially though, lives and breathes on this one word. Why not? It gives them the right to conjure up radical images that people want to see, to stir up controversies that no one cares for but everyone wants to read about. It's all about the money, honey. Even something as inspiring and thought provoking as the press, can get its hands down and dirty just to sell a few more copies.

I am not saying the actions of the press are always bad. Their desperate search for a sizzler, so often does make them open a cupboard and have skeletons fall out - skull, bones and dental remains in tow. Politicians are exposed, cruelties come to light, and so often, justice is delivered. But, that of course, cannot always be true. So, just conjuring up something that sells, seems to be the mantra.

Press In India

When I was at school, we would learn in history about the freedom struggle, and how India attained independence from the British. In those days, the press was an astonishingly great force in the way it spread the message of the leaders of the movement for the nation's citizens to stand up as one against the oppression. Readers would come to know about how the incumbent British would try to squash every uprising, the atrocities doled out, the ideas and thoughts of the great leaders who were leading the movement against the East India Company, and they would be provoked into action themselves. It was the single-most largest non-violent movement for freedom the world has ever seen, and the press had a large role in putting that together.

After independence, the press was still respected to a great extent, as it mirrored the progress of a developing young nation that India was. Bringing forth the rapid changes that the nation was undergoing, to the eyes of the avid reader. But, I, having been reading the newspaper since I was a kid, have seen a huge transformation in the mass media. The papers I started out with were really huge spread-outs with a fresh scent that can only come from a fresh newspaper. The really important news could always be found on the front page, and I would quickly scroll through the politics to get to the last 2 pages - my favourite sports pages. I would turn on the television at 8pm to get this lady with a single rose in her tresses and absurdly loud make-up read out the news to the whole nation, and wrap it up in 20 minutes. That was the dose for the whole day, and on the only channel we had back then!

Whoosh forward to the present day. We have more than 20 national news broadcasters on tv, that dish out news 24 hours a day. The newspaper has bloated into a thicker ream, but smaller in size, and more like a tabloid. It has as many pages dedicated to real nonsense grapevine crap, as to the rest of the news I am used to reading since I was little, and still manage a fistful for classifieds and advertisements. News on the front pages reads - "Superstar walks out of jail on bail", "It's official: Rushdie, Padma to divorce", "Sachin: Caught bad luck, bowled Taufel" and "Munnabhai goes to Gandhi's jail". The sports section is now 4 pages long at least, but 3 of those are dedicated to cricket (non-olympic sport, really just a pastime). Occasionally, we see one Sania Mirza glitz one of the articles. And there is a football section which has news which reads like - "Henry divorces wife and Arsenal", "Ashley gifts Bentley to girlfriend".

News that you can use?

I can now blitz through a newspaper in 10 minutes, because nothing catches my eye. Oh, except for the skimpily clad page 3 damsels of course. I missed them as a kid! Even the televised media isn't too far behind. But, who can blame them? They gotto run all day, everyday, and still get viewers hooked. What do they resort to? I like to liken what they do with what a computer geek does when he/she cant crack a software, or break into a website, or solve a problem in a straighforward way. He/she will "hack" in by any means possible - legal or illegal.

The news reporters seem to do that too now. The latest fad is the "Tehelka" way - hidden cameras and setups to corner unsuspecting victims to divulge vital incarcerating information. Political criminals have been uncovered. The casting couch in the film industry became a matter of public discussion. Saffron-garbed sadhus masquerading as social heroes were unmasked and their exploitation of children and women was exposed. So far, so good.

Now, it seems even this has taken a wild and desperate turn with so many news channels competing for the viewer's roving hand on the remote control. A teacher in Delhi was victimised and somehow revealed as a pimp who brokered kids into prostitution. She was beaten up by parents and sent off to prison for 10 days, before it came to light that there was absolutely no evidence, and that this may just be a sham by the "reporter" - a profound setup.

Bring back my newspaper

I just hope the Indian media doesn't go completely the way of the media in the West. Too often, the British media, for instance, is accused of being "star-struck" and following celebrities around. The news coverage in the US is so biased, that it can never be digested by anyone who ventures in from outside the country. Paparazzis abound in the West. Yet, the freedom of expression does ensure everyone has a voice, and that it can be heard out loud to everyone who wants to hear.

But, shouldn't there be limits to everything? Isn't there something which is off-limits? The Prophet Mohammad for instance. Or Hillary Clinton's low blouse during a speech. I just want my clean old newspaper back. Don't let it be this "one fix for all" thing that delivers news, gossip, and crap all in one single place. Oh and titillaton too for those who need that from their morning newspaper.

I go home to Chennai and find The Hindu on the couch in the morning, and it takes me back to the old days. That's how a newspaper ought to be. Everything has its place. Freedom is only good, when enjoyed by everyone.

What You See, Is Not Real

2007-07-20T20:14:00.000-05:00

I have often wondered and marveled at this great creation that we call the human body. Nothing though, amuses me more than the human brain, the complex organ that effectively acts as the center of our nervous system, and is the one feature that we all are proud of as it apparently makes us superior to the rest of the creatures on our planet. In fact, the very abstraction of being proud is a figment of our brain once again, isn't it!

Center of control
The more I think about the brain though (who is "I" by the way? Isn't it my brain again?), the more I realize how much it is in control. Of who I am, what I sense, what I think, what I believe and eventually what I do. Why do we trust the brain so much? Why do we trust the signals it senses? Are the sensory organs we own the epitomy of perfection, so much so that all other devices we create for measurement and sensing should be judged against our sensory organs?

If one reads the ancient Hindu scriptures, one can read about Maya, also known as Mayajaal. It can be described as this veil that covers our eyes, and blinding us from the truth, the reality. Not that what we see is not true. Yes, that is a truck hurtling down toward you on the streets! What we see though is only one perspective of the truth, part of the whole, perhaps better described as a projection of the real thing on a smaller dimension, but yet something we are happy to accept as true. No matter how marvelous our senses, especially our eyes are, one can definitely question whether it can see everything as it is.

This whole thing sounds so "Matrixy", doesn't it? But, the very fact that it is very hard to accept we don't see the truth and that "Seeing, may not always be, believing", is why this is not very commonly heard either. Those who know that we cannot see the truth with open eyes, only advice that one must attain this realisation on their own. One cannot be told or shown what the truth is, but one can be guided how to seek it. Reminds me of a line from Brave New World by Iron Maiden -

What you see is not real, those who know will not tell
All is lost, sold your souls to this brave new world.

What does education have to do with it?

We turn up in schools with an open mind, as absorbent as a sponge, only to be taught some of the most outdated material one can dole out. This is especially true of all sciences including Mathematics. Perhaps we could leave out biology to some extent. All that we learnt were labeled as theoretically perfect sciences, where every statement worth its weight had a proof, devised in a precise, orderly fashion. Little did we realise that these perfect sciences were all standing on the foundations of certain axioms and statements of truth, that never needed to be proved. Indeed, if you think about it, such a science which is based on devising proofs and conclusions and cause-and-effect theories, can never exist without such axioms to start with.

I am not saying all we learnt was bullshit. But, could it not be possible that these axioms were only sufficiently biased to not be generally applicable? They may only apply to a limited array of problem-spaces, but all of these fill up our daily lives and overwhelm us so much, we don't realise there might be more to it that is missing . Take for instance, the Newton's laws of motion. We apply them everywhere today. It is impressive standing on its own. However, it only took a few nuclear scientists to start digging into sub-atomic particles and their microscopic properties, and someone called Einstein in 1917 to take the macroscopic view at the universal scale to realise that Newton's laws no longer dictate how things work. They weren't found wrong, but inadequate.

From behind the spectacles

Our eyes give us this amazing perspective to life and our surroundings and dictate our interactions with it. They are excellent when it comes to helping us survive on earth. But we all know its limitations. We can only see radiation in the optical wavelength range, which is just so miniscule compared to the whole observed spectrum in the universe. We already cannot see everything. Add to this the fact, we cannot view objects below a certain size and beyond a certain distance, and we come to know, there is so much more we would want to see, if only we could!

Let me present another interesting example of our limitations. We know this from school as Geometry. But, today, in scientific circles, it is classified as Euclidean Geometry. Why? Ever wonder why we could always solve those theorems and proofs on a sheet of paper? Because it only applies to flat surfaces and planes! If you try to take your theorems to a curved surface, like say the surface of a sphere, they fail to apply! A straight line on a flat surface is obvious - shortest line between 2 points. We can use the same shortest line argument on a curved surface, but of course, this line is no longer straight. The sum of the internal angles of a triangle is 180 degrees. But on a sphere? It's greater than 180 degrees! The figures below show "straight lines" on our spherical globe (latitudes), and a triangle on a sphere with sum of angles equal to 270 degrees..

What can we see?

We only "see" what we are taught to see. Over years, we have developed a notion of what is "real", and we understand images based on this perspective. The eyes and the brain combine to form an instrument, which together "see" what they are trained to, within the limitations of the eye as a lens with a fixed focal length range, and a filter that can decipher only a few of the radiations out there. This doesn't imply I shouldn't trust the things I see, but only that I should believe there are more ways to interpet what I see that can mean a lot more if only I tried. There are more revealing illustrations to feed one's mind and make them suspect their firmest beliefs, which I will leave for future posts for now. But, believe me, there is more out there than meets the eye!

Push Pa For No Dowry

2007-07-10T21:05:00.000-05:00

I am proud of my country and its rich heritage, the traditions, the spirituality embedded in every aspect of life and the fact that all of this has survived the test of time in a melting pot of the most diverse cultures one can find in any single country. But, at the same time, I despise belonging to a society where the masses still adhere to cooked up practices that no one understands, but everyone accepts. One of the most widespread of such practices is the tradition of dowry for a marriage.

Buy my love, love

Marriage is supposed to be a sacred bond between two bodies and souls that get tied to each other for eternity - as they say in those Western marriage vows - in sickness and in health. When it does sound so much as a pillar of strength and equality, how the hell did the concept of dowry fit into the scheme? Why does the bride-to-be have to pay her husband for his "services"? Last I checked, most men actually end up getting the service - both with their demands in the bedroom and with the daily household chores, and after there are kids in the house.

I don't really know when and how this tradition took shape, and I don't even care to research and find out, because what it has ended up becoming is a totally inexplicable farce. My explanation is that the woman has always been seen as the weaker sex and one needing protection. When she is born, she walks into the loving protecting arms of a father. When he finally hands her over to another man, he hands over the responsibility of protecting and caring for her, and ends up paying a price.

Not many fathers have qualms about this, as they do not want to risk taking on the orthodox society they live in. Or worse still, because they have themselves received a dowry once upon a time. Not many girls raise their voice as most women still don't consider it right to speak up against the norm for fear of being outcast and bringing shame to the family. Hell, she instead turns into a bride-burner herself! Dowsing the newly wed bride with kerosene and lighting the match after an unsuccessful demand for more dowry.

What does education have to do with this?

Nothing, apparently. The practice is as prevalent in cities, as it is in the villages. Some urbanites actually pride themselves in "preserving the culture" in the face of invasion from western thoughts and this preservation naturally involves sticking with age-old practices like dowry.

I was never more shocked than when I brought this issue up with my fellow classmates during my Masters. It should be noted that these guys are some of the brightest young people around who have been afforded the chance to go ahead and get the finest education possible in the country. But when it comes to the issue of dowry, they were still massively orthodox and openly accepted that they expect a dowry, and that in fact, since they have had the privilege of studying in the top technological institute in India, they expect to land a fat one. Ask them how it is justified, and pat comes the reply. "My parents spent a fortune getting me this higher education, and I will ultimately end up earning more because of that. Hence, I need to expect a higher dowry." I persist, "But, why expect a dowry at all? Never mind the size of it." The reply has the same tone, "Who will repay my parent's efforts?". I am pissed by now - "Who will repay the girl's parents? Don't you know that the girl today also studies as much as a guy does? How can you not be ashamed to ask for money when you will never have less because of your pedigree?"

There are other explanations I hear too. "Girls have high expenses, dude. Her parents will have to cover for that." "My parents didn't find it wrong, why should I?" "We will be paying for my sister, I should get some back." Just to add spice to all this, I should let you in on the figures I heard. Try 50 lakh rupees for size, will you? If all this doesn't sound absurd by now, you are most likely part of that elite gang of thugs.

Save for the marriage, not retirement

Being a girl's father is sometimes cursed in this sense, as is being born a girl child. The minute you are born, daddy decides to start saving on that marriage fund. Even though he may want to raise the girl as well as he would raise a boy, he will still make compromises. Fewer girls make it to higher studies this way. Its a toss-up between spending on education and on the marriage, both once-in-a-lifetime events. I need not say more here. If you have a sister or better still, are one (!), you probably know all about this woe.

Hellraiser

What can one do against a whole society of orthodox beasts who clamour for a slice of the pie everyone can get their hands on? We can pass legislation. Oh, but that's already been done. No one comes clean against the offenders, and no one testifies, so according to the law, it doesn't happen. I, for one, am definitely going to be invited to a lot fewer weddings, because I have threatened my buddies that they daren't get caught accepting dowry with me around.

How about the girl's dad refusing to relent? Well, not many will marry his daughter then, and if your daughter gets turned down by a few, people are already thinking she is "characterless". It all then boils down to the one person who is the central character throughout. The bride. If she refuses to marry a guy, openly and in full public view, and tell the world the guy is looking for a dowry, it will be the first step. I wish all the girls could do this and be strong enough to face the consequences. Marriage is not a matter of life and death. A collective action will definitely bring a change. But, one girl here and another there, cannot make a difference.

Recently, I was amazed by a daring move by one such woman claiming to be a dowry victim. This amazing personality from Gujarat had already lodged a complaint with the local police against her husband and mother-in-law (bride burner!), but got no response. She just marched out into the streets in broad daylight stripped to her undergarments to catch the attention of all and sundry and to highlight her plight. She definitely got the attention, but I am not sure it will be more than a "I saw a sleaze show on the streets of Ahmedabad" in the short-term public memory. Nevertheless, I salute her courage. The world just needs more.

There used to be an advert of a talcum powder (huh?), where this female would turn down a relation with a man because he asks for dowry. And then, as the whole world scorns at her and her dad looks forlorn, a handsome guy walks in from nowhere and asks her hand in marriage. The talcum powder actually helps. Maybe there are enough guys out there to walk in on a distraught situation, and I bet there are, given the male-female ratio in our country!

So, what are you waiting for? Push Pa! For no dowry. Not necessarily like Pooja Chauhan did by marching semi-naked onto the streets.

Back In Strangeland

2007-07-07T20:25:00.000-05:00

This is where I started blogging - Austin, Texas. Guess loneliness drives me to blogging. Or the angst created by living here gives me reason to blog. Whatever it may boil down to, I am back now. Back to Strangeland. Still feeling like a stranger. Riding the bus to go places. Walking to work to almost everyone's glaring surprised eyes. Cooking everyday what my awesome mom teaches me from across the globe over the internet.

Back in India, life was normal. In fact, too chaotic to even afford me the time to blog. I lost all inspiration whatsoever. Only time will tell how this second stint will go. In the meanwhile, a short gist of what I have been through (if anyone cares of course) -
1) I have found a sweet little sister who has become the apple of my eye and filled that gaping hole I always felt inside me.
2)I stumbled upon my mom's genes within me when I picked up the ladle and knife.
3) I led a team of 6 developers for 6 months on an exciting project on Continuous Data Protection in Windows - working weekends so as to not step over my full-time project work. Thanks team, you were really co-operative!
4) Witnessed Leeds United fall to the throes of misery as they got relegated once again.
5) Sold my dear bike that was with me for 4 long years where I cared for it a lot, although I am glad it went to my dearest buddy.

I certainly hope my brand new Canon S3IS camera can help me tell better stories and my now hectic lifestyle can still throw opportunities to blog. Hope you will come back and egg me on!

You cant rock me!

2006-07-12T03:41:00.000-05:00

I get knocked down, but I get up again,
You're never gonna keep me down!

You can bend me, but I wont break! I will bounce back. 17 years living in this city, and this is the biggest lesson I have learnt from the metropolis. Mumbai, one of the largest cities anywhere, was rocked once again with a series of blasts targetted at the public transport system.

Horribly sly

One can just see through the cruelty of the planning.
-- The western railway carries over 2 million people a day.
-- 6pm is the time when the trains are packed not to capacity, but well past it.
-- First class is the only compartment where one can deftly move in and out through the scores of commuters.

7 blasts go off at various points on the railway line leaving close to 200 dead and over 700 injured. Purely insane lack of respect for innocent human lives.

Rising like a phoenix

I wasnt surprised this morning though when the very railway that got hit by the blasts started services early this morning again - less than 12 hours after the explosions put a spanner in their works. Nothing gets affected here. Schools, offices, colleges, shops - everythings back to normal. The city simply bounced back like I counted on it to.

Indomitable spirit

Of course, it isn't the city thats remarkable, it is the citizens. New York, London, Madrid; we have seen them taken down by terrorist attacks. And we have seen how they took it. I cant meet enough New Yorkers, or Americans for that matter, who show how badly 9/11 impressed their minds. I cant forget how panicky London police got and had some scorn left over for me at London airport. When every other citizen would have hibernated to a shell, or should I call it a nuclear holocaust security cell in their basement if they are really paranoid, the Mumbaikar will take the blow, goto sleep and wake up the next morning like nothing happened.

There have been innumerable instances where the city was brought down to its knees - the 13 serial blasts in 1993, the massive flooding from last year, intermittent terrorist incidents every now and then. Nothing could even stir this spirit. It is the fact that people fight everyday. To make ends meet. To travel from home to schools and workplaces and back. To make time for friends and family. They have seen how hard life can be. So much that they have become kinda hardened. The mumbaikar is still passionate, but they dont have the time to get bogged down and cry. Life, they know, must always go on.

My Salute!

I can never forget what this city has taught me. Which is why I feel so relaxed, so happy to return to its throes. The streets may be filthy, the traffic snarled, the stress levels steep, the crowds mangled. But, getting through it all unscathed is what makes one realise how strong they are. Damn yes, I salute this city, one like I've never seen. Although I may not want to settle down with a house there anymore, I will always remember what it has meant to me. The city never gets rocked!

Air-Tale : A Story About The Monarch And I

2006-03-23T11:01:00.000-06:00

Boy, do people know how to piss me off. And as is obvious for readers of my blog, it typically gives me something to vent right here. This is a tale of woes that was initiated without me having the faintest of hints when I left for StrangeLand. Sachin and Shah Rukh might promote Airtel, but I'm sure they never had to face up to the so-called Customer Support system. Let's Rant...

Introduction

Airtel has always been my first and preferred service provider when it comes to cellular service. But, that was definitely before I switched from pre-paid to post-paid. I had to, cos I was one of those users with heavy outgoing traffic. My monthly bills went through the roof - on average more than what my colleagues spent overall on their living expenses. Of course, that still doesn't buy you any privileges as a well-paying customer. I've had tiffs about them not raising my credit limit, even though I've been paying always on time and they had a copy of my salary certificate to prove I can afford to pay them. This always meant, they forced me to come pay event other week.

Before I was to fly off to StrangeLand, I had a suspicion that my stay would be atleast 3 months long, if not more. The friendly Airtel customer care guy at Monarch Technologies in Aundh, Pune, said all I need to do to ensure my number is safe and not disconnected, is to pay 100 bucks a month toward holding it in 'safe custody'. When I informed him how long I expected to stay away, he simply said, even if its 6 months, all I need to do is ask a friend to show up and pay the 100 bucks every month on my behalf. I paid all my remaining dues plus the 300 Rs for 3 months of safe custody and happily strode away.

3 Months Later

My room-mate informs me of bills that are still arriving back home for unpaid dues, and they seem to be rising every month. I tell him that my stay could last upto 3 more months and request him to pay 300 Rs. further toward the 'safe custody' extension. The friend at Monarch tells my room-mate the bills could be a mistake and accepts the 300 bucks. Smile back on my face..my beloved number lives on.

Return of the Harrassee

On day 1 of my return, I turn up at Monarch to explain my situation and ask them to restart my number. '24 hours' is the friendly reply. After 48, I march back in, still calm and collected. 'It's been off for a long time, sir. Give me 48 more.' I give her 96. My earlier friend, the one who put my number in safe custody, is nowhere to be seen.

After a 3rd trip and another failed promise, I finally ring up the Airtel Customer Care number, only for him to ask for 2 more days. 4 days later, I ring them up again, only to be told, my number has been permanently disconnected. Its been 15 days now, and this is how long it takes for me to realise this. Im advised to take up the issue with Monarch again.

This time, I walk to the manager cos the minions obviously have no idea what they are doing. He patiently listens to my story and breaks another surprise to me - '6 months? But the safe custody can only be used to hold numbers for 2 months'. Duh??! Why the hell did my friend say that to me then? Was he the Court Jester for Monarch? After he makes a couple of phone calls, the manager promises to get my number started by dusk. I tell him I expect it to be broken.

Voila. 48 hours and still nothing. On the 3rd day, I march in with a huff. There's a new friend, who seems to know how it's done, better than the rest. 'Your number is permanently disconnected. I will waive off the rent that's accrued on your bills, cos you weren't here. And the amount that you paid toward safe custody actually went toward repaying dues. So, your number was never in safe custody'. One shock follows another. After 21 days, there's no respite with the news flashes. Finally, I regain my senses, and I ask him a single straightforward question calmly - 'Tell me what you want me to do'. All I hear is - 'Goto this other place, check if you can still get your number back, pay this due, blah blah blah!'. Dude! All of you incompetent morons have screwed me up big time, and now you want me running around even more? After you have finally understood all the injustice that was dished out? WTF~! Screw Airtel. "And I'm sorry to have wasted your time. Cos you never felt sorry for wasting mine".

Silver Lining

Now that I've switched service providers, I get a legal notice from Airtel. More like a threat. Asking me to cough up more dough. For the rent they added on my account for the time I thought it was in safe-custody. This period of course also includes the time it was disconnected by them for non-payment. Plus, my safe-custody payment went toward part-payment of that rent itself! So, technically, they didnt put it in safe custody, charged me rent, used my safe custody payment to pay off that rent for a couple of months, then disconnected my number and kept piling up the bills.

And what am I gonna do? Nothing, but pay up and pen my frustrations in a blog. Cos I can't afford a lawyer or spare time to run around. I'd rather think of the 400 bucks as charity toward the impoverished Bharti Tele-Enterprises. I'm giving something to the needy here, of course.

Makes you wonder..We give such excellent world-class service to the rest of the world. Everyone marvels at the Indian service industry and its talents. But, when it comes to serving its own citizens, there's complete apathy. Customer is not king, its the Monarch and his court jesters who are kings. As RATM would never say - 'FU, I WILL do what you tell me.'

Pretending to be Pune

2006-02-27T11:07:00.000-06:00

A warning at the outset, to all those who call themselves Puneris, Punekars, Puneites - basically take pride in the town that's called Pune. Yes, you heard me right, it's a town pretending to be a city, and yes, this is a slugfest against the pretentious town, so keep out, if you adore it.

First brush

I have lived 17 years of my life in Bombay. Wait, 9 in Bombay and 8 in Mumbai. But, I never got a chance to see this neighbouring bustling township they call Pune. My mom still rues the fact, but I wonder why. As I grew up, more and more of my friends started telling me about the pretty femme-fatales that crowd Pune and that I should desperately seek a job there (or here, cos I am here now). So, when as fate would have it I landed a job in Pune, my friends were evidently more excited than I was.

I leave behind my parents and my bro, all my bosom buddies, and move to Pune to earn my living on my first job. Its raining (record rainfall that year actually) most of the time, and the weather strikes me as pleasant. False first impression that. Later that year, the summer records desperate highs, and the winter records temperatures almost ready to freeze your veins, and all year long dust billows around riding on hot winds like you are in a desert. The journey hath only begun.

The earth is round, not flat

The folks in Pune are said to be well-educated and smart. I am sure even the guys who direct road construction here know that the earth is round, and not flat. They carry forward this knowledge blatantly, ensuring none of the roads here are flat. How can you have flat roads, if the earth itself isn't flat? The roads are filled with both intentional and unintentional speed-breakers. A tiny pothole gets filled overnight with tarry goo, and becomes a mound next morning. I have been used to potholes from my rainy days in Mumbai. But, the healthy mixture of ups and downs in Pune's roads reminds you that life is not just about downs.

I bet my bike has aged thrice as fast since I came here. You can only slow down so much for every bump, and there are too many around. A ride in the auto-rickhsaw, sans the shock-resistance of course, is most definitely a break-test for the spinal cord. Damn, I have seen better roads in a lot of other cities that Puneris like to compare Pune with. Pune is a town, with roads that deserve a place not even in a town.

Public transport - Two-wheeler

Everybody, and I mean everybody, owns a 2-wheeler. Public transport system? Conservation of fuel resources? Duh...Ok, there's a so-called PTC bus system. The buses are so filthy from the outside itself, I haven't dared step into one of them. I'm used to the more cleaner buses I have seen in Mumbai, Chennai, Hyderabad...Hell, even the buses in Calcutta are more inviting. Plus, its not like the bus system is flawless and efficient and has a good span or coverage. Walk a mile to the bus stop, get down at some unknown place, and ask for directions during another mile hike toward where you really wanted to get. I know comparing with the BEST in Mumbai is pointless, but how bad can one get? The only semblance of public transport then becomes the auto-rickshaw, which is hell by itself. City or town?

Weird alarm system

I don't use an alarm to wake up in the morning. Precisely at 8am, the power is cut-off and I am woken up by the lulling hum of the fan being suddenly withdrawn. This is one of the ways mom used to wake me up when she thought I'd had enough sleep. But, I live alone now, and its plain rude! Damn, what worse time could one choose? People have their bath, prepare to leave for a day's work, and they gotto do it without power? The philosophy behind this of course is an attempt to 'hit where it hurts'. Try to cut off power when people need it the most. Thank god they haven't realised yet we need it most in the nights actually.

Femme Fatale

Yeah..women that kill. Of course, that was meant in a poetic sense by an arduous French admirer of women. But, my first venture into the streets of Pune made me rethink - perhaps Femme Fatale was meant to be taken literally here. Women may not be killers, but boy, they do dress like one. Bombarded with those images of militants and terrorists covering their faces with elaborate pieces of clothing, one can only help but relive those memories when they see the women here walking around, driving around, in exactly the same garb. You wonder if they will pull out a gun if you say a meek 'Hi'.They say it protects them from the sun and the dust. They even have some wrinkled horrendous polka-dotted thing they call a sun-coat to cover the rest of their exposed skin. And with the stereotypical arranged marriages that happen around us everyday with the groom seeking 'Pretty fair-skinned girl', how can you blame them? The only quirk of course is, when people ask me about the girls in Pune, I come back with, 'I am yet to see them, really'.

Afternoon slumber

Another annoying bit I hate is the fact so many of the shops and services shut down for a whole 2 hours in the afternoon. No, it's not a lunch break, its more like a siesta break. People simply shut shop at 2 to re-open at 4. I've never seen somebody run a business like this anywhere. The shops shut early at night too, if this isn't already bad enough. It took one long trek at 10pm to find an open pharmacist before I realised, I should ensure not to fall sick at night, or stock up my home like a little pharmacy.

Pretentious

Everything about Pune is pretentious. A town pretending to be a city. Riding the IT-wave that has now hit most of the country anyway. Pune may have started early, but believe me, its not keeping up. With infrastructure in shambles, that's no surprise.

A town is made by its people. And that's where the pretending begins. You only have to speak to the youth here to know what I mean. So many of them carry a fake American accent. I don't know where they picked that from, unless the TV is their only friend and they have healthy conversations with it. 'Pune is a fashion conscious city'. People are obsessed with how they look, how they present themselves. They build a facade to hide the real 'them'. The less I speak about this the better. Cos I will be called judgemental, but in my view this is where all the make-believe and pretention starts.

At best, Pune is still a cantonment, tempted to blow into a city, but this really looks set to implode if the governance doesn't wake up and take note.

Made In Heaven

2006-02-17T01:35:00.000-06:00

Last week, I attended a special function - the wedding of one of my best buddies Jigesh. I have been skeptic about attending marriages as they've always felt drab and massively over-elaborate. After this experience, they arent really drab, but still massively over-elaborate. But, with Jigesh involved this one had to be extra-special. Especially, cos I had met his better half in Los Angeles, and loved her pleasing personality and her kind, but savvy attitude. One thing she excels in is having the tolerance to stand a bombardment of bad jokes from me and Jigesh at the same time.

I havent written what I like to call poetry on my blog ever before. But, this occasion definitely calls for one. And I dont care what you think of my poetic skills! And don't think Woodsworth, think Mike Myers.

Buddies in college, sharing the 371 bus,
If there were two in a lecture, had to be us.
So kind and helpful was he, people exploited him too,
But then he made friends, only to stick like glue.

(Stop laughing..I am serious!)
He wrote all the assignments, coded all the programs,
All we had to do, was wait till he gave away the alms.
We silenced our conscience by saying "Damn, he lives so close",
"While we travel for hours, he takes a refreshing doze!".

Giving rides in his car, companionship for where you wanna go,
Tons of support and tutoring, helping you keep up the score.
When you wanna stay awake, even when the teacher sings lullabies,
Bet on him for a timely nudge, right before you close your eyes.

Always gives, hardly ever takes, he's a bag of joy and fun,
Little did he care that's not the secret of being number one!
I secretly told myself, there aint a girl good enough for him,
The ones out there are smitten by me, hell, what's left for him!

No wonder then, I was surprised to meet her the very first time,
I sensed it in minutes, better than this poem they shall rhyme.
One a gujju, the other a punju from gujarat,
That's where the differences ended, take my word for that.

I promised myself to make it to the wedding,
Had to see them both smile together in a divine setting.
As the day approached, the celebrations increased,
Hundreds, preparing, swarming around like bees.

Oh, it was a sight to behold, when his parents danced together,
Rejoicing the occasion when their son ties himself with a tether,
To the most suitable girl, they could never have found on their own,
And to see them rejoice, made me thrilled to the bone.

I, who never dances, pranced to the obnoxious and loud music,
I had no idea what I was doing, cos dancing makes me sick.
Who gives a damn if the feet and hands are never in synchrony,
We celebrate the couple and dance to the cacophony.

The two descend from the clouds, at the altar they take their place,
All eyes on them, no one cares for my pretty face.
Around the sacred fire, they do the seven auspicious revolutions,
With him following her, the trend for the future is set in motion.

Bless the couple, for a life together in peace and sacrimony,
Have the little tiffs too, to keep things in harmony.
May you always get the very best in life for each other,
And God Bless, someday you will make an excellent father and mother.

With Love,
Satwik.

Ok..it wasnt Mike Myers good...give me atleast Ben Stiller.

Mum's the word...

2006-02-15T01:08:00.000-06:00

Its late in the night - closer to daybreak, than to midnight. I wake up with a start. Im not sure if it’s the mosquitoes bothering me. Then, I start wheezing and my chest doesn’t seem to be able to expand to its full capacity with each breath. I sit up and try to find a position that would comfort me and make it easier. My brother shakes around in the bed next to me, as I start coughing slowly to clear my bronchial tract. Then, I hear light footsteps walking toward my room, and from the dark my mom emerges, bringing instant relief with some of her quick-help remedies.

Since I was little, I've had this problem of developing breathing complexities when trying to sleep. The doctors gave it technical recognition with names like ‘Bronchial Asthma’ and the lot, but couldn’t really cure it. It turned out to be one of those things that gets cured on its own with age, and now its simply a rarity, only rearing its head on the occasional exposure to extreme amounts of dust or pollution. But, the part I remember about all of this, is how my mom always managed to feel my pain and rush to my assistance. I am certain my dad got woken up too. But, he realizes that in such scenarios, it is definitely the mom’s touch that makes the difference. And he won’t arrive until it’s absolutely necessary – to dish out some medicine because it’s pretty severe, for example.

Enlightenment?

Of late, I have been living away from my parents and my brother, and I have learnt that it is the distance that finally gives you the realization of how important they were in your lives. When they were always around, you take them for granted, and give more importance to your television, sports and friends. Not once have I ever done anything special for my mom except for hand-made birthday cards once a year. I have of course, picked arguments almost on a daily basis, criticized her cooking even though I reckon she’s the best and never told her so, never appreciated her sacrifices – the ones she made so me and my brother could have a peaceful life and everything would be taken care of. Now that I live alone, all that comfort is suddenly gone, and I can clearly see what a great effort she put in everyday for me and my brother. And how thankless I have been.

Transformation

If you tell her that you are sorry you never thanked her or appreciated her or even helped her out once in a while, she comes back with – “Well, you have atleast ensured you have a stable career ahead of you and learnt to live on your own. That is all I ever wanted for you anyway.”. Its like shes saying – “Mission accomplished”, but I cant get over the fact that I haven’t been the greatest of sons. However, I am glad I left home. Since then, I have developed a new-found level of relationship with her. I understand her more clearly now, I can talk to her about almost anything, I realize the gaps in my life she managed to fill so easily without me even knowing. Of course, I despise missing her cooking. Another thing I took for granted, cos good food was always just a few footsteps away - in the kitchen.

Mum is the word

So many of us search for God in idols, temples, peaceful surroundings, bearded people (?). None of us have really ever seen God. I think the closest I have come to seeing The Almighty is in my parents. Mum’s the word..the word I would use to describe God. Even though I gave her immense pain since the day I was born, she has shown great resilience and ensured that I have an unparalleled upbringing. That I can be proud of the human being she has moulded me into. Now, my visits home are more like a pilgrimage, where I look back at the times I was always in a temple and never realized it! Where I savour the sumptuous Prasad everyday, before its time to go back. Back to the material world, where I live with penny-chasers and become one too. Someday I will realize that chase was a waste too…will I?

India Whining

2006-01-18T21:02:00.000-06:00

Its what they are all talking about - India and China taking over the world. And it isn't China that adds the spice in these heated discussions, its the dark horse Homeland I belong to. Not many saw it coming. The land of spicy chicken tikka and lamb vindaloo, of beggars, of the Taj Mahal, of cheap software engineers (read job robbers) - which is how the average westerner sees India - was never one slated to make the big splashes. I've been seeing this all around me during my stay here in StrangeLand. My high point was actually when the cop that gave me a speeding ticket, not in the kindest words suggested - "So, you are from India, huh? I hear you are taking over the world economy". The unsaid words there of course were - "Getting rich by taking our jobs, huh? You wouldn't mind paying this ticket here, I'd imagine."

Why the hoopla?

The "India Shining" campaign was kicked off toward the end of 2003, when the incumbent political party decided to shine its shoes by showing how the country is shining. They pulled out all kind of statistics to show the progress the country had made during their rule. Sadly for them, the Indian electorate was smart enough to realise that the actual wheels had been put in motion before the government even came to power, by the outgoing party. Guess who won then?

Well, the economy hasn't let up its 8% annual growth, and the media, which plays such a major role in stirring things up, hasn't let up either. Just to give an example, visit the Rediff web portal. You will find a brand new news item or article by an "expert" either highlighting India's growth or comparing it to China. One day "We are 20 years behind China", and the next, "India and China economies will control the world market in 15 years". It just doesn't let up. The media quotes Forex reserves, GDP growth, the rising number of shopping malls and cellphone users, whatever it takes to make a mountain. And the whole world is hooked.

What's the hype and what's the truth?

The truth is, a country of India's size and rich heritage could never have been stopped. It was always an economy waiting to explode. And I believe it still is. We are getting excited at the first openings of a blossom. The question really is whether this bud will blossom or fade out like one of those overnight blooms. And right now either is equally possible.

Ok, so we have 140 billion dollars of forex reserves. But, aren't we forgetting the massive trade deficit we still have? Its definitely eclipsing this forex reserve figure. We are still primarily an importing economy.

IT rocks..We rule the software world. My brother has already written an interesting post on this fad. Yes, we absorb the largest chunk of all out-sourced software work. But, does it map to the revenue we make? Outsourcing as a business concept, in my view, will never cease. But, does it in anyway ensure we build a foundation to keep us going even when people decide to move to other havens of outsourcing? And to all those that think Indians are superior in intelligence, and smarter at work ethics and skills, well I have just one thing to say - God meant for all humans to be equal. Until we breed enterpreneurs out of our young software engineers, we will be slaves to others, and that takes us nowhere.

Shopping malls, multiplexes, branded clothes, faster cars - signs of prosperity, yes. But, by what scale? The Western scale again, isn't it? I wonder when this 'White man is superior' mental-block will be erased from our psyche, when we will stop embracing all things western as good. It is the west that must embrace our ethics. After all we are the ones with thousands of years of well-scuplted culture and heritage, whereas the western ideas are just flashes of brilliance, destined to fade out like our diwali fire-crackers. Instead, we are going out of our way, the other way.

My silver lining

When I see companies like TATA motors sealing bus production deals for South Africa, making their mark in the Eastern Eurpoean market, and looking for newer economies to venture into, I feel proud. When I see ONGC competing for oil fields in Nigeria with the big guns from the west, I feel excited. When I see so many more of our farmers getting access to advanced technologies to improve agricultural output, I feel happy to eat that extra roti! There are such stories all around us. Indian pharma companies using their low manufacturing cost, but equally good research background, to win contracts to make cheaper AIDS medicines, also comes to mind. But, they have all been overshadowed by the media hype surrounding the outsourcing industry.

Did you know that investors from the west shy away from venturing into Indian IT start-ups cos they require such a low investment, which in turn means lower returns? Where is the Indian investor in such times? Out of 10 enterpreneurs we conjure up, 1 ever manages to get funding, and mostly not to the extent she would want. 5 will lose hope immediately at the lack of excitement from investors. The remaining 4 will fight a losing battle and try putting in their savings and hope for the best. It's a sad story, where the typical Indian mentality of not taking risks, also shields them from all the good projects some enterpreneurs come up with. Any wonder then that all our best enterprenuers are in the Silicon Valley? And most of those here are into slave-work, the stable business - no matter how demeaning it is. Before you accuse me, you should know that I am in the same industry too.

Wrap up now, please!

India is a work of art in progress, poetry in the making, but we aren't firmly established to make it. To truly rule the world, we ought to ensure we can sell to the world first. We just keep buying. We ought to advance our technological base and our intellectual property a lot further to ensure we don't feed off foreign technology, and for this to happen, jobs like those of ISRO and BARC have to be atleast more appealing than the jobs at Infosys and Wipro. I could list a lot more, but these are good places to start. Everything else frankly seems to be pretty much in shape.

Yeah, and ensure we don't run outta gas, literally, in our push for industrial superiority. I cannot stress enough that India will have to take the lead in moving toward alternate energy resources, and not wait for the rest to take the first step. And stop bragging! To the west, we are coming dudes, just wait. And to all of us Indians, it's gonna be a heck of a ride, so hang on!

Teachers or Preachers?

2006-01-13T23:21:00.000-06:00

Guruh Brahma Gurur Vishnu, Guruh Devo Maheshwarah,
Guruh Saakshad Parabrahma, Tasmai Shree Gurave Namaha.

One of the first shlokas I was taught when I was young. I think it was because it was so simple to remember as a kid. Later in life, I understood what it meant. A Guru is the teacher, the one who shows us how to live life, who sets us on the right path when we are young. In ancient India, it was a sacred occupation, and some of the great sages have also been the greatest teachers. Hence, they have been compared to Brahma, Vishnu and Mahesh in this shloka.

My first Gurus

In my first years in school, apart from my parents, I had the utmost respect for all my teachers. I used to look up to them as some of society's greatest protagonists, as people who would shape how I live and quench my thirst for knowledge. Unlike now, when I couldn't care less about learning about diverse subjects, as a kid I was into the quest of discovery, exploring the unknown, and basically learn something new everyday. None of this holds true now, and I wonder if it has something to do with the teachers I have gone through in my 20 years of education. This is not a blame game I'm gonna play to clear my conscience; just trying to analyse what role my teachers played in my life.

As a kid, it was natural to look up to elders, and not just literally cos I was so short. I also perceived them as all-knowing and interacting with them gave me great joy. I was the quintessential "teacher's pet" too in school, atleast till the 7th grade. I think teachers always fall for the guy who tops the class most often. How shallow! I repaid them by almost worshipping the best ones, and someday wanting to be like them. Oh, how smart they were when they taught me about far-off countries I've never seen, about legendary kings who ruled our lands centuries ago, about how to find the square root of 27843, about how to convert a sentence in active voice to one in a passive voice, about the fact that light splits up into a rainbow when it passes through water. I was overawed.

Teacher, or a talking text-book?

Now that I think about it, I realise all they did was present bookish facts, most of them. Very few would actually perform experiments, force us to think on our own and question, and inspire us to dig deeper. They kinda got away with half-baked knowledge cos us kids wouldn't question. It was something inherent in a lot of kids - we don't question the elders, it might be a show of disrespect. Now, if someone taught me all that over again, I'd ask them back - Why do I need to find the square root of a number ever - what good is that? Where would I need to change a sentence from active to passive voice - I have no clue even now. Why does white light become multi-coloured when it passes through water?

I am reminded of the tale of one of my friends, Harsha. The teachers laughed at him when he was asked to add two numbers, and he neatly arranged the digits of the two numbers, and added them from left-to-right, instead of right-to-left. Come to think of it, I never asked my teachers why I need to add them from right-to-left. I just did it. How can the teachers even have it in them to laugh at little Harsha? When all he had was an innocent young mind that didnt see the difference between adding in one direction as opposed to the other.

I got the answers to most of the questions I'd never raised on my own, later in life. Life has its own way of teaching you - when you observe what's happening around you more carefully. In my case, I usually just observed the encyclopaedia. But, it drove home the point that all my education was just glaze on top of a doughnut. I had to mostly bake the doughnut myself, and my parents had a great big hand in that. What did teachers really give me then? The degrees I hold?

My ideal guru

I now see teachers who simply pass some stupid tests and start teaching young and eager minds, who have no idea what they are being fed. From all my years in school and university, I know that clearing the hurdle of a test is not the hardest thing in the world to do. More so, it is not the best guide to judging a person's aptitude. Teachers should know they are some of the biggest servants to our society, the ones who shape a child's future. And take some responsibility in what they do and how they do it. They shouldn't just cram our heads with facts and figures - we have the newspapers for that. They should realise the enviable positions they are in and utilise it to motivate young minds, to make them arrive at the answers to their questions instead of giving half-baked replies to hush them up. A true guru doesn't bring the water to the horse, he points the horse in the right directions so it can find water itself. And a really good one will ensure the horse notices the abundance of flora and fauna and natural artefacts around the water source, so that next time the horse can find it on his own, without needing a guru.

In their defence, I am sure the teachers will point to lousy salaries they take back home, and lack of adequate support from the establishments, and sometimes from parents themselves. I can't argue with that. However, I have seen a handful of good examples of excellent teachers, who have worked their way around all of this. I can still remember some of the really good teachers I had as a kid. To me they did invoke the thirst to seek more, although I quenched it elsewhere. Until the point, I realised I could no longer look up to them, and had to seek asnwers on my own, always.

What is then, the difference between a teacher and a preacher? They remind me of the modern preachers who grow beards as a sign of their sainthood and dress in simple clothes as a mark of enlightenment, and captivate audiences with talks about religion and how to live life. They never give the rationale behind anything they say, and people don't question them either. It would be disrespect to a sagely human - after all he knows it all. It is our lack of knowledge and the readiness to grasp blindly what comes our way, that makes sucess stories out of unmotivating teachers and haughty preachers. Can something be done?

Wake Up!

2006-01-05T23:01:00.000-06:00

That's a call to myself, for sleeping around and not posting for a long time..or so you think. I'm all stirred up right now - I just heard one of my favourite ground-breaking songs..It's called 'Wake Up'. By Rage Against The Machine. Pure exciting guitar riffs and awesome rapping by Zach. The song kicks off with a heavy riff that sounds like Led Zeppelin's 'Kashmir'. After that it only rises in tempo toward the end, where he screams out and insists we wake up!

Those of you not familiar with the song, please look back to The Matrix, where at the end, Neo calls up from a phone booth and doles out a threat, before flying away to this song. Those of you not familiar with the movie, life ain't worth living right now, is it!

The Message

Yeah, there's a message. Most of RATM's songs carry a message. The song wouldn't have been great without its motivatingly penned lyrics. It's about how the governments use their authority to muffle the protests, to sideline the obvious and to simply hide the truth. In particular, they stick to the example of the American government.

'Movements come and movements go,
Leaders speak, movements cease
When their heads are flown'.

Not scared to take names either -
'You know they went after King
When he spoke out on Vietnam
He turned the power to the have-nots
And then came the shot'.

And one of the most powerful statements -
'Networks at work, keepin' people calm
Ya know they murdered X
And tried to blame it on Islam'.

It's not just love

For all those of you still leading life with an ear only for the pop divas and the boy bands, you have no idea what you are missing out on. You obviously do realise that life is not just about love and heartbreak, right? The real life has problems, wars, politics. Hell, these mushy crooners don't even sing about humanity or the environment. How hard is it to write a song that goes - 'You are my fire, my one desire', and then 2 lines later - 'Am I your fire, your one desire'. I used to write better poetry when I was in 2nd grade. And even then I wrote about emporers and heroes.

Music as a weapon

I've heard statements like - 'Music is a really strong tool. You can use it carry any message through' - many a time. Then, why do so many of these cacophonists choose to send only one message through? Love, beauty, weeping after a heartbreak, sex? Ok, that's 4, but eventually it amounts to nothing, just a few mushy females and their sad boyfriends who go through this hell just for the sake of..you know what!

Why doesn't anybody sing about the environment and the extinction of rare species? Oh, wait, Megadeth did, with Countdown To Extinction.

Tell the truth, you wouldn’t dare.
The skin and trophy, oh so rare.
Killed a few feet from the cages,
Point blank, you’re so courageous

Why doesn't anybody sing about the treacherous stupidity of a war being fought in Iraq. Oh, wait, System Of A Down are already nominated for a Grammy with B.Y.O.B (Bring your own bomb).

Why do they always send the poor?
Why don't presidents fight the war?

Why doesn't anybody write about dreams and deja-vus, stuff that happens to us everyday. Oh, wait, Iron Maiden has Dream Of Mirrors dedicated to this freaky feeling.

Have you ever felt
the future is the past
but you don't know how...?
A reflected dream
of a captured time
Is it really now, is it really happening?

Why doesn't somebody write out against dictators that still rule some parts of this world. Oh, wait, Sepultura have penned Orgasmotron in their honour.

I Twist The Truth, I Rule The World, My Crown Is Called Deceit
I Am The Emperor Of Lies, You Grovel At My Feet

One last why doesn't. Why doesn't somebody write about the soldiers who defend our borders, goto war, blindly obeying the decisions made by superiors who sit in the comfy interiors of their palaces. Oh, wait, Metallica have already penned For Whom The Bell Tolls on that pretext.

For a hill men would kill, why? They do not know
Suffered wounds test their pride

Morons all of these to waste time and creativity to write about real stuff. Who listens to this crap? Without love, there's only wars, bad presidents, and nightmares. Boy Bands rock! Britney rulz.

Wake Up!

Whadda I got to, whadda I got to do to wake ya up
To shake ya up, to break the structure up.

It's sad to see that all the song-writing credits goto mushy or latino or hip-hop singers, while these other artists really churn out creative and meaningful stuff. I'm gonna be like the Missionary and try to convert every friend of mine to give these artists a shot, and see for themselves what they are missing. Meanwhile, you go and grab these songs I listed and give them a deserved hearing.

'It has to happen sometime,
It has to happen somehow,
What better place than this,
What better time than now!'

Kidspeak

2005-12-18T20:54:00.000-06:00

Somebody told the kid finally that nobody believes him. "What? I am the most powerful man on Earth. How can people not believe me? Do they even have a choice?". Or maybe they told him his approval ratings were tumbling, and everybody had to see his face for dinner. George W. Bush came on TV to address the nation, the StrangeLand. It was incidental that I caught him speaking, cos I was only looking for an episode of the Family Guy, when instead the quitessential family guy himself turns up from the cosy interiors of the Oval Office. To talk about 'Eye-Rack'.

The 'Begin by Backing Off' Strategy

He begins by being candid and admitting that there were no weapons of mass destruction found in Iraq. But, no, he wont say it straight out. He winds around long before he finally says it. "We had reason to believe". "We were not the only ones who believed". "We know he turned down requests from UN officials for inspections." "Saddam had the potential to use them". And, finally, "We were wrong. No WMDs were found. Except signs that they had the nuclear know-how to do so." Well, Mr Bush, you were the only one to believe they had WMDs. Tony Blair just tagged along and he got reprimanded for that from his own nation. And, what a way to admit a mistake. You never fully admit, it do you? And this was THE reason to march into Iraq. Of course, later it was re-monikered a War Against Terror.

Must say though, smart move that. All those who were willing to take his side, actually took it at that time. Cos he also said, "I am your president, and sometimes I must do what I believe is right, and be prepared to accept the consequences." Its an endearing statement, made to sound like it comes from a man with a deep sense of patriotism and responsibility. However, doing what ONE believes is right is called dictatorship, or atleast misuse of power. And what consequences? He loses the next election? What about the consequences of a whole nation, one that goes by the name of Iraq, one that has a history of its own much longer than this BushLand has?

The War Against Terror

I'm never gonna buy this one. In Saddam's regime, he might have been the terror, but there were no terrorists or insurgencies. Cos he would squash them. They are his enemies after all. The fact is, the terrorists and extremists who are waging a war against the US will walk in wherever there are US troops. And with Saddam gone and US troops all over Iraq, that's exactly what they did. It wouldn't have been difficult to recruit fighters either, with all the discontent that the youth will have pent up inside; given some nation, especially the US, is controlling their destiny.

For Bush, its a war that he's winning. For me, the war was over in the first few days when he took out Saddam. Fighting insurgencies is not war. If that's the case, India has always been at war in Kashmir. Thank God, my Prime Minister doesn't come out at dinner time to tell me 'We are winning the war, dude.'

Push Iraqis to the forefront

He wants to train Iraqi soldiers and policemen so they can handle the terrorists themselves, and so that he can reduce the troop count. Dude, this is the shit you created. Now, you throw it up at the fan and run? He talks as if he's empowering them. They didnt ask for anything they are getting. I agree Saddam was a bad influence. But, I am yet to be convinced they are better off right now.

What is victory?

In this self-defined war, what is the milestone for declaring victory? Setting up a democracy in Iraq? Setting them on a path to continued development? Or will it be decalared right before the next presidential elections in US? Or maybe, when they have divided Iraq into three parts, one for the Shias, one for the Sunnis, and one for the Kurds, cos no one would accept the draft constitution that didnt support their interests. "Let's have 3 constitutions then", the kid declares. "No matter what, I always win. Cos I define victory."

If US walks out with the job incomplete - and so Bush fears - they will lose the credibility they have today in the eyes of the world. No one will ever trust that they can do something right, he says. Here's some news. You have already lost credibility. The whole world insisted you dont enter Iraq in the first place, but you had your own games to play.

What now?

Bush also said that the troop pull-out decisions will be made by Generals and the President and his staff after careful considerations of the situations on the field, and will not follow "an artificial timetable", one which politicians in the Senate want. Coincidence then, that earlier today, V-P Cheney said the exact same words - and I mean exact - on his short visit to Iraq. I insist they use different speech writers, atleast when they speak on the same day. Or maybe Bush forgot CNN can bring Cheney's voice from 6000 miles, on the same day, using something called Satellite technology.

More deaths, more killings, an extended stay, one which Bush didnt plan for. The result is still shady to me. But, Bush is confident. Not optimistic. Confident. As for the parents of young soldiers who are fighting a war they dont understand, and the soldiers themselves, I only have sympathy. 2,515 is the US death count they tell me. Nobody shows the Iraqi civilian death count on CNN. Cos it would tick more faster than they want everybody to see. Its always hard when a kid gets a lot of power, nothing makes sense. But, someday he will be tired of this game and find something new to play. That's our only hope.

Let the Freeze begin

2005-12-07T20:24:00.000-06:00

Man, am I excited or what! Yeah, you can tell from the upsurge in the frequency of my blogs of course. But, today’s the first time I’ve experienced temperatures below zero. In 25 years. Wow! I know it sounds stupid, but this is one of the things I did want to experience when in StrangeLand. Still waiting for it to snow though. Remember my Boston trip, where I had the best opportunity, but the weather didn’t shake-up enough?

The Build-up

I got hints about the temperatures dropping drastically today from people at work yesterday, and when I woke up this morning, it was dark and dull outside. No, I didn’t wake up too early or before sunrise to be precise. It was very cloudy and there was a stiff breeze too. Every morning, I hear my favourite radio jockeys, Mike and Jason on 101X (Austin’s new rock alternative), tell me the temperatures – current and forecast high/low. I missed that today cos apparently I brush my teeth too loudly, although my gums are still intact.

So, I turned on the TV and tuned into the Weather Channel, and they forecast a chill accompanied by rains in central Texas, and other parts of the country I don’t care about. I was elated cos finally, this was really gonna happen. Everyone on my way to work had something to say about the chill. “I’m gonna stay indoors and make hamburgers.” “My wife insists I be home before 5pm”. “Your car rental contract needs to be extended”. Well, not quite everyone.

The real deal

People rushed out early from work and wherever cos rains were forecast for 5pm. And every kid who never went to school knows that when it rains and its below freezing point, the water freezes too. Those who did go to school think about how the volume of water decreases when it freezes and cheerfully imagine smaller puddles as a result. I had a meeting starting at 4:30pm and there was no way I was gonna miss this opportunity. I mean the opportunity to experience freezing cold and drive back home on ice!

It isn’t really fun to tell you the truth. There’s frost on the road, on your windshields. You think it’s just water and turn on the wipers, only to hear a loud creak indicating your wipers slid over the ice and you still have a blurry view of the world. If you peek at your rear-view mirror, your car looks either like its on fire or like the world’s most polluting vehicle, with all the usually invisible vapours turning into a foggy smoke. When you hit the gas right when the lights turn green, the car waits a second before jolting ahead, as if the fuel pipes were frozen from the idling. People are driving at 20mph on the freeway where they usually blast by you at 80mph and you are driving slowly to avoid hefty tickets. Today, you are king and you whoosh by all the others. At 35mph. Wherever water was dripping, you now see ice. Even the wind that hits you when you step outta the car feels like its carrying ice.

Yeah, it ain’t fun. Its kinda like wanting to rummage though garbage even though you know it ain’t fun, but you gotta do it cos you’ve never done that before. What? No, I meant cos you lost your credit card bill in there. In the end, I’m glad to be back in my hotel room, with the heater turned on and hot soup cooking on the stove. But, you still haven’t experienced this, have you? VIRGIN!!

Yesterday

2005-12-07T00:20:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was Monday, not very interesting. Tried some Lasagna for lunch, hoping I would love it but I didnt. It also kicked off an emotional rollercoaster in my head cos its hit me now that I live alone, work 7 days a week and miss my family. Yesterday is also the name of the South African movie I just finished watching. Maybe it was because of the state of mind I am in, but I have not felt as touched by a movie ever before.

Thanks to HBO for airing foreign language Oscar nominees. I really needed some amazing cinemawork to take my head off the normal lonely chains of thought. I had seen 'Maria, full of grace' sometime back about a Colombian girl who is coerced into carrying cocaine in her belly. But, I got lost in the pretty eyes of the actress and missed the whole movie! Yesterday was instead simple and frank and didn't ever attempt to pass on any message. It was all about the life of a woman called Yesterday. Depicted as is.

Yesterday?

Well, you don't watch enough soccer for sure, or don't keep a tab on African news, if you are suprised by that name. Missionaries did convert ethnic Africans into Christians, and taught them English. But, no one told them Yesterday, Sunday, Tomorrow aren't names of persons, but days. Her daughter is called Beauty, and here's the winner - her husband is called John! Can you beat that?

Why am I going ga-ga?
Like they say, 'This movie has Oscar written all over it'. However, I dont think it won the Oscar. It's about a village lady living somewhere remote in South Africa with a sweet little daughter who can't stop asking innocent questions. Daddy lives far away in Johannesburg and both hardly see him. It all looks so real, when Yesterday walks for hours to see a doctor and the doctor is too occupied with other patients to see her, and she has to walk back. And then, when its pretty late, the doctor diagnoses her with AIDS. The hubby's got it too, from some other woman apparently, so Beauty's safe.

The movie is all about how Yesterday dreams of sending Beauty to school and she makes up her mind to see her in school before she succumbs. Simultaneously looking after her daughter, tending to the fields, doing the housekeeping, managing the grumbles of the village-folk, she comes out to be a lady of admirably strong character. When an average person would give in to the disease, she stands up and decides to do what she has to.

Some of the parts are ultra-touching. For example, when the villagers dont want the husband in the village anymore, she tries getting him into a hospital in the city. But, there's a waiting list there too and she decides to build her own hospital bed, far away in the plains, for just her husband. She does it with her own two hands and sees him pass away in that hospital of hers. And the motivation coming from the fact that there was news from the neighbouring village about a girl being stoned to death cos she had the virus.

I have seen a few movies dealing with AIDS. Philadelphia comes to mind. From Bollywood, My Brother Nikhil and some Shilpa Shetty starrer come to mind too. But, they were pretty melodramatic. They tried to be phony and at times pushed the limits a bit. Such stories are meant to be made simple without the salt or sugar or whatever they add. It makes you feel like you know the people in the movie and makes you yearn to help them.

What am I doing?
It also made me think about my futile life. I'm into money spinning like everyone else. Chasing the buck. No, not black buck like Salman, please..I'm an animal lover. Millions of people out there toil even with deadly diseases and handicaps, while I lay back, sip my cocoa and watch TV and then decide to write a blog about it. Its not an easy decision to get up and go out and do something notable, but I wish it weren't as hard too. I'm gonna goto sleep and wake up tomorrow as if nothing really hit my mind last night, or in other words, Yesterday. But, someday, I pray, it will be different. I'd been talking about my destiny earlier and how I didn't know what I wanna do. Sometimes the answer's right in front and you can't see it. Is that the case here?

All I have learnt is I need to strive to make Today better, so that Tomorrow I can say Yesterday was good, I did something worthwhile. Yesterday says in the movie too that her dad named her Yesterday cos he always felt, Yesterday was better than Today.
Its a recursive formula guaranteed to make your Today awesome. Think about it..

Fear Of The Dark

2005-12-04T01:41:00.000-06:00

When the light begins to change
I sometimes feel a little strange
A little anxious when it’s dark

Fear of the dark, fear of the dark
I have a constant fear that someone's always near
Fear of the dark, fear of the dark
I have a phobia that someone’s always there

Over the Thanksgiving weekend, my cousin brothers extracted a lot of fun out of scaring my little sister Yera with an Ouija board, the one where you sit in the dark and place a finger over a planchette and it moves signalling that you are talking to a spirit. To me it immediately sounds a load of crap, cos obviously they are moving it with their hands, either with intention or not. But, I can imagine myself being 13, and I bet I'd be scared as hell too. She had a hard time sleeping that night, and it kinda led me thinking about the Spirits and the Ghosts.

Evil?

Why are ghosts considered bad? Why have we always been taught to be scared of them? If a ghost is simply a soul from the body of a person, there have to be atleast as many good ones as there are bad ones.

Why are ghosts only found at night and rarely at daytime? Why do they hide in dark places? From what I have heard, they are ultra-powerful cos the rules of this world don't apply to them. If so, what's with the guerilla warfare? Is one of them watching me right now and smirking at my ignorance? Are they gonna get back at me for this blog?

Another theory I've heard very often is that if one believes in angels, then one must believe there's an opposite too. It may come as no surprise, but angels are as much a myth to me as ghosts. For me, both ghosts and angels are too stereo-typed to be true.

Watching horror films the night before
Debating wiches and folklore
The unknown troubles on your mind
Maybe your mind is playing tricks
You sense and suddenly eyes fix
On dancing shadows from behind

Isn't it true that we 'sense' ghosts more readily right after watching a horror movie, or being told folklores about them? Mere hustles in the curtains and the shadows of trees on windows suddenly come to life. I remember one of my friends returning home after we all watched a late night show of The Sixth Sense. He headed straight for the loo, and poor thing, the lights blew on him when he was inside. What timing! All I'm saying is - Its All In Your Head. Just needs a trigger.

Growing up with ghosts

We are all introduced to ghosts by whoever, when we are kids. What a kid learns at that young age, always sticks. I dont think I was scared when I was 2 or 3 and left alone in the dark. Yes, I missed my mom and cried, but that's different. As I started being introduced to the spooky stuff, I would be scared to enter a dark room, turn off the lights myself before going to sleep. The seeds had been planted for a lifetime.

To make things worse, there were some ruins next to my school and..surprise, they were haunted by ghosts! I could see them from the balcony of my house and I walked past them many a time - only once at night, with my mom. My dad knows how much this bothered me. I would have a hard time even going to the balcony at night. And he was the one who helped clear the mysteries of ghosts and spirits in my head. The interesting thing is that last time I visited Hyderabad, one of my friends who knew how much I was scared of these ruins, invited me to go see them again, in the dark. He had a naughty smirk on his face. I think he was surprised how I readily agreed and actually enjoyed watching them from up-close, in the faint moonlight. Dude didnt know I am over it!

What I Believe

Every religion has its own way of explaining life after death, which to me is a way of comforting a person who has lost someone close. Knowing that they live on, not in this world but some other, and that we will join them soon, is a soothing thought. Somewhere down the line, this was twisted and there were exceptions to the rule. Some souls missed the bus (or is it the boat?) and stayed back cos they had unfinished business - like haunting for example? We have all wanted to do that, haven't we? In the Hindu philosophy, the soul is always stuck in the cycle of karma and may not leave the earth till its time has come and it has done enough good. It has to be re-born in another form. The good thing is they never asserted the souls are bad.

I believe that ghosts do not exist and I won't till I see one myself. And even if they do exist, they are not all bad. Most of these ghosts are my ancestors and they are protecting me, if anything.

Earth to America

2005-11-20T22:27:00.000-06:00

I have seen so much television since I've been here in Strangeland. I can't remember watching so much TV in the past 6-7 years. But, basketball and the Phoenix Suns and San Antonio Spurs aside, most of the stuff I watch isn't inventive, and for heaven's sake I get to see all that back home too. But, today I saw this completely different show; so different it caught me by surprise.

Best Comedians in the World
Well, we are all familiar by now that the word 'World' in American translates to 'Country' and is never to be taken literally, except for facts like 'Biggest consumer of oil in the world', 'Highest energy consumer in the world', and so on. But, yeah there were pretty good comedians on display for this show - Steve Martin, Robin Williams (he's my favourite), Ray Romano, Will Ferrell, Jack Black, Cedric the Entertainer (thats his name!), Larry David, Ben Stiller, and of course, Leonardo Di Caprio. Ok, hes not funny, but I still laugh when I hear the ladies go crazy when he's on stage. Cos, they haven't seen me yet and dunno what they are missing. No, they aren't missing a narcissistic moron.

Why were the comedians there? Well, finally someone had to accept that this 'World' is doing a lot of damage to the Earth (the World as we know it) with Greenhouse gases, toxic emissions, fossil fuel consumption, energy spending lavishness. I think no one takes stuff like the environment seriously here, so some good-natured, earth-loving comedians decided to give it to them in a different serving, like sugar-coated medicine. And I think it must have worked. They were cracking jokes, but also emphasising why the people have to elect representatives who themselves care about the future of the planet, how they can make a whole lot of difference with a little effort in their daily lives. I just hope the message sticks before they flick channels to watch Desperate Housewives tonight, cos thats tough to beat.

Why the fuss?
Everybody knows what the Greenhouse effect is, and how we are hurting ourselves by pumping CFCs and burning hydrocarbons. But, how many of us are serious enough to do our bit? When I see what goes on here in StrangeLand, I realise how much better people in developing countries are when it comes to environmental causes.

- Every dude and damsel drives to work. In a car. Alone. 4 wheels. 1 person. Whole lotta gas.
- Not just that. People don't give too much of a damn to the mileage the car gives. Its all about whose car is faster. And the Hummer that I once accidentally praised, is the king of gas-guzzlers. 44% of the oil consumption is by motor vehicles. This nation has some of the lowest gas prices in the world, which is wrong, cos the way people burn gas here, by the formula of demand and supply, it should be all the more expensive. Thats the only way to hurt people enough to start car pooling.
- Where we use fans back home, these guys have airconditioners, running all day. 10 times more costly in terms of energy consumption. And I've seen people crib when they don't have access to airconditioning, like its a basic amenity.
- Ever heard of the Kyoto Protocol? Well you might want to start here. 154 countries signed the treaty and agreed to put in place restrictions on toxic emissions of greenhouse gases and set targets to achieve certain low levels of emissions. Strangely, StrangeLand didn't sign. Its gonna hurt that lifestyle too much, isnt it? Ooh its so hot in here without the airconditioning. My hair doesn't set without them CFC-laden aerosol hairsprays. Do you expect me to walk for 5 minutes to the grocery store?

An astronaut's view

I dunno about you guys, but the view of the earth from space is one of the most breathtaking views I've ever seen. Wish I'd seen it for real, flying in orbit. The guys on the show including Leonardo himself, and Dustin Hoffman, narrated quotes from Astronomers about the view.

The only common theme was that this view shows us that the earth has no boundaries among nations. You simultaneously get a feel for the astounding and infinite universe, and the gorgeous planet earth teeming with life, both from opposite windows of the shuttle. It also reminds you, ever so deeply, that the gift of life, and the Earth itself, are so precious and we better do our part to take care of it. Its true, a trip to outer space, can turn an Astronaut into a Humanitarian.

If only it were possible, I'd send everyone out for these breathtaking tours and make humanitarians out of every soul. Alas, even though I ensure not to do damage myself to the Earth, I wrap myself in my daily life thickly enough not to do anymore. And that's true of every other person. I don't have a solution to that other than being sadistically shaken by some calamity that is directly linked to these horrible things we are doing. I sound harsh, but that is exactly what drives people to change. Prophecies worked in the age of kings, and people acted on them, not true anymore.

My Panchatantras

2005-11-12T20:58:00.000-06:00

In case you are wondering what Panchatantra is, I could point you somewhere. But, I know you wanna find out if I really know, oblivious of the fact that I may have visited that link already. Panchatantra is sanskrit for 5 (Pancha) principles (tantra) and only the pancha part has any relation whatsoever with this blog, cos I've been tagged! By my bro Sudhamshu. And I'm supposed to list some stuff about me in sets of 5 and then tag others I want to be tagged. It sounds like a venereal disease I'm spreading, but there's always fun associated with that right?

I'm going to switch some of the topics here, cos otherwise it would seem the lists are rip-offs from my bro's blog, when all it is supposed to mean is that we both like the same kinda stuff!

Five movies/shows/sitcoms I'd watch anytime (This is a rip-off)

The Matrix Trilogy

The Lord Of The Rings Trilogy

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

Any Jim Carrey movie (except when he violates animals rights like in Me, Myself and Irene by sticking his finger in a cow's nose!)

British comedies from the BBC production studios

Five things I miss now (Rip-off!)

My family

Mom's food (Its so good I am assured it can end wars)

My closest buddies

Playing cricket and football

Earning more than I deserve! (Used to get a stipend of 5k for 8 hours a week in college! That was unbeatable)

Five favourite music bands/performers (Original! Along with reasons why I like them!)

Creed (Can you take me higher?)

Iron Maiden (Hallowed be thy name)

Metallica (Nothing else matters)

Sepultura (We who are not as others)

U2 (I can't live, with or without you)

Five favourite lines

I have only two things dear to me - my word and my balls. And I don't like to break any of them. - Tony Montana a.k.a Scarface

Make no mistake blah blah blah. We will smoke them out. - George W. Bush a.k.a moron

Don't think about what the company can give you. Instead, take whatever you can from them and walk away. - Sudhamshu a.k.a bro a.k.a career advisor in guise

There is no try, only do. - Yoda a.k.a green li'l jedi from star wars

Do not try and bend the spoon. Instead, only realize the truth. There is no spoon. Then you will see, it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself. - Young bald-headed British 'The One'-wannabe kid at the Oracle's house a.k.a 'You still havent seen The Matrix if you want an a.k.a here'

Five Things I wanna do while I can

Be a good son, bro, boyfriend, husband, friend,...

Have my own company and emulate Google

Have my own rock band and decide whether I wanna do vocals or drums

15 years too late to build a football career that leads to the English Premier League, so wanna watch a big game in England at least.

Give something to the world that makes a difference

Five guys who will help spread this venereal disease

Well, I dont know 5 bloggers that havent already been tagged. How about 2?

Parag

Clan-Destiny?

2005-11-05T22:05:00.000-06:00

I know thats not a real word, the title of this blog. But, its something that crosses my mind pretty often; the thought, not the word. Concentrate on the 2nd part, destiny. Its about what Im here for, what I am meant to do in my lifetime, the purpose of it all. And its clandestine, a secret to me now, and I strive to find it. Everyone is, in a way. We are all searching for the reason for our existence, simply because life is such a special gift. It just cant be that there is no rhyme or reason to it, thats unfathomable.

Yeah, I know I sound a lot like all the characters in The Matrix, that helluva movie that fizzled out in the end. They used words like Purpose, Cause-n-Effect, Fate, Destiny as effective tools to grab our attention and keep us hooked. And it worked, simply because each one of us has time and again pondered over this. And it is so very dear to us, the fact that we are all here to do something important, to affect the lives of others in our own way. And we hate it when someone tries taking it away from us. I remember Agent Smith getting pissed off at Neo cos Neo tried to destroy the agent that he was. He comes back to remind him, "You tried to take away the very purpose of my existence. But, in a way, you gave me a whole new purpose. Now, I want everything."

My destiny taking shape?

From a very young age, I had been fascinated by science and its mysteries and I loved reading about how these mysteries are unresolved. Something that really caught my fantasy was Astronomy. The whole idea of an infinite universe baffled me. As a kid, I used to imagine one day answering to the question "Where do you live?" with "A-403, Krishi Vihar, Ameerpet, Hyderabad, Andhra Pradesh, India, Asia, Earth, Solar system of the Sun, Milky Way Galaxy. Where are you from?" I read about neutron stars, nebulae, gamma rays, radio telescopes, comets. I used to collect news items about discoveries of far-off planets and stars, photographs of exploding supernovae.

Today, I understand why I am not an Astronomer or an Astrophysicist. If you note the last paragraph, all I ever did was read about this. I never even got myself a telescope. It was merely a fascination. I never really did anything that would prepare me for a lifetime as an Astronomer. Does that mean my destiny lay elsewhere? I was just not meant to be an Astronomer? Or does it mean the seeds had been sown at a young age, but somewhere down the line, they might really sprout into life?

Peer and family

People around you have so much of an effect on your conscious or unconscious decisions. Drives me nuts, cos I dont know if these people are destined to show me my path, or they are destined to distract me. I know they are there for a reason though and I make sure I cherish that feeling. Peer pressure is the strongest force I have ever experienced. Up until the 12th standard, I was still firm somewhere in my head, I wanted to study Astrophysics. I'd still not done anything worthy of showing my interest in the field, but I was still fascinated. I'd not even figured out which college to go to if I needed to build a career in Astrophysics. I wasnt very good at physics either, but decent enough I'd say. Notably, I had taken computer science in the two years in high school and I'd enjoyed programming.

When the results came out, I'd got good enough scores to get into an engineering college, and when friends heard I'm not gonna apply, they said things like "Dude, do you even know where the money is?", "Haha, thats great. One more seat for me to grab. I wish there were more people like you" and the most influential one, "Isn't your dad retiring in like 5 years? You know you will have to get a PhD to get anywhere close to ISRO or NASA, which takes longer than 5 years." That struck me hard. Im gonna be studying even after my dad retires? And this job ain't gonna pay me enough anyway...

My dad for one showed why he's number one, why he's got everything figured out. He told me simply this - "Do what you love doing. I dont want you to regret later you didn't do what your heart asked you to do. We as parents are happy to go with whatever you choose. Dont let external factors influence your decisions."

Have I found it yet?

As things would have it, I went to engineering college and burnt a hole in my dad's pocket. Didn't let that burning influence my decision! Proud of him to get both his sons a good engineering education without showing he ever felt a pinch. Proud of my mom to push me to do my Masters in the best college in the country. And today I'm a software guy, like so many other Indians. Coding virtually for free for the Americans. Yes, I did realise during my education, that I enjoyed Computer Science in general. I loved discussing stuff from Operating Systems and Networks and I enjoyed programming much like an artist would love painting. During my masters, I thought it was my destiny to do a project in computer vision and move into this exciting field. As things would have it, I couldn't get a job in any of the good companies in India offering jobs in computer vision, and instead I got one in the fields I loved during my graduation - Operating systems and in general, simply programming.

I still dont know if this is what I was born to do. I dont see myself making big changes to the world with the code I write. Yes, I bring money into my company, but thats not big enough. Is it that I was born to be a son my parents love, have a brother who's simply the best buddy one can share with? Or am I still blind, still groping in the dark for that one big defining moment where I discover what Im here for?

Ultimate scare

The ultimate thought is one where you ponder over your destiny and realise that the very word means that everything is basically pre-decided. What am I supposed to do then? Is there even a way to let things not happen? "If its meant to be, its meant to be". So easy to say, but so difficult to comprehend. I sometimes feel exactly like Neo says, "I just don't like the idea that I'm not in control of my own life." But, to be frank, life throws so many instances at you where you have to believe that there is something like destiny and fate.

Its the ultimate salvation to discover the reason for your existence..So, all I can say is that the epic continues...happy hunting!

The Boston Tea Party

2005-10-29T20:51:00.000-05:00

Damn, have I been busy! All my regular readers (yes, both of you) must have realized I’ve been missing for a while. Hope you didn’t report me missing with the local police. I was drowned in tons of work, and now I get the much-needed break..where I have to travel! Ok, Im supposed to see this as an “opportunity”, cos I’m in StrangeLand, and I get to see another new city!

Where am I? I am in the place where StrangeLand’s freedom struggle took its first steps..Yup, my first ever blog from Boston, MA. Not to mention my first ever visit to this place too. Kinda like Meerut, UP. For the uninitiated (read non-Indians), it’s the place where India’s freedom struggle took its first steps, except that it has 100 times fewer cars.

Why the trip?

Well, I get to meet with the Einsteins of the software industry, more correctly the storage industry, and they know who they are (Hint : Whats the most famous equation Einstein ever developed?). More about them later. But, I was supposed to represent the company I work for and basically get some questions answered. They are Einsteins. Gotto have the answers.

The trip

I’m traveling with another guy from the company, and when we choose seats, he amazingly chooses to get a seat in a different row! Man, I didn’t know I was so nauseating…Nah, I think he did ME a favour instead. I’m not the one who’s judgemental about who sits next to me! 1 short and another loooong flight take me to Boston. On the long flight, Miss stewardess herself sits beside me. I’m on the window seat. But, I keep my charms sealed within, and let the other guy sitting next to her hit on her. “So, which airlines do you work for?” “North American” (Did she make that up?) “And you fly American, haha funny” (I don’t think so) “Yeah, I’m on my trip home. We picked up some soldiers from Eye-Rack” (For those who dunno, that’s how StrangeLandians pronounce Iraq). Long pause, more stupid jokes and one bored stewardess who says “Im just looking forward to catching up on some sleep”. Me, Im catching up on reading. Damn, there’s so much pressure. My company’s spending more than 1.5k dollars for the trip, I better ask the right questions to those Einsteins.

After my long serious reading session, stewardess tries chatting me up with stuff like “Can you see land?” Are we on a ship in the ocean, far away from any semblance of land for months? I’m avoiding my stupid jokes here and acting like the Marlboro guy, who says little and acts smart. I’m solving puzzles from the magazine, pondering over the crossword and wondering why they don’t have diagonals to solve. Finally, when we are waiting to get out at Boston airport, “you must be waiting to get out of here right?” Damn, have I been acting like a jerk? Wow, I’ve made a woman feel like I’ve been avoiding her, that’s a first! No, not really. I take that back. I’m an expert at that. My girl will vouch for me. My stupid remark in response, “Only if I can move my feet, cos I can’t even feel them”. 4 hours of flying can do that to you. You end up with numb feet and you tell stupid jokes.

Worst time to be in Boston. Raining. Freezing cold. I use my brand new jacket for the first time. I was kinda hoping for snow too, but not my luck I guess. I still have tomorrow morning to witness snow for the first time ever.

The Cadillac

Kind Hertz car rental gals give us the Cadillac to drive from Boston to the hotel. Damn.
Such a huge car. Not huge actually, just long. But, with leather cushions and sleek interiors, best car I’ve been in. And it sounds so smooth too. Digital tachometers, speedometers and all other o-meters. I’ve got one word for this car – awesome.

The hotel

Radisson hotel. Having lived with 25 odd channels, of which 18 I never watch, for over 2 months now, the TV here with 70 channels is most welcome! I watch a Spanish channel cos they have blaring music and cheesy flashbacks in the soap operas, that remind me of all the soap crap served up back home. Oh sorry, that’s soap Krap. For all the morons who didn’t get that joke, its cos all the damn soaps have names that begin with ‘K’. Yeah, now you are laughing, HA HA. Well, I was lying. I watched them cos they had beautiful latino girls! Only for 5 minutes ok! The bad part is the bed - so bad, I hardly sleep all night.

The Einsteins

Well, the Einsteins don’t answer my questions. They are actually stumped. “Hmm, we never though of that”. So, we flew all this way for nothing? I guess we got some extra context into what they are doing, and our eyes opened to the fact that big companies pretend they are Einsteins, when they really aren’t. The stuff they’ve built in a year, could be easily built in a couple of months by the guys in my company. And in the end, it doesn’t even work that well. I don’t remember much from the trip to the Einsteins cos a breeze carrying ice instead of air hit me before I entered their haven, and I got my senses back only only a few hours ago, which of course you wont believe, cos you have this very blog to prove that I never got my senses back. Damn, its cold! Im surpised I don’t have ice-cream flowing in my viens.

What next?

Well, discover all the channels that StrangeLand strangely presents – Court TV (?), Food TV, Weather channel, Game show network, comedy central, home shopping network, travel tv, Bravo (!), Sci-Fi Tv, My TV, MTV. Ok, we have MTV too. Gotto wake up real early and catch a flight. And return the Cadillac, boohoo. It would have been a perfect b’day gift. Yeah, so you forgot to wish me, huh?

Random Judgements

2005-10-15T16:42:00.000-05:00

Yeah, Im in that mood right now. To pass random judgements. Its good I aint the Supreme Court judge. But, if you guys see what the media is obsessed with (among so many other not so relevant issues) here in StrangeLand is the caliber of their new Supreme Court judge. I think I am no worse than her if what they say is true! Well, thats a sample of how random my judgements can be today, so sample everything I say here with a mound of salt.

Here Goes...

The White House?

Ever wonder why they call the Presidential residence for StrangeLand White House? Well, I just did. And I have the answer! Because it was only meant for white people....In over 200 years of democracy, not a single black president. Well, the guys who wrote the constitution of this place intended it to be so apparently. For that matter, they never even had a woman president. Maybe they could have been more appropriate if they'd named it WhiteMan House.

Iraqi Insurgency

For the umpteenth time, StrangeLand should stop showing the insurgents in Iraq in bad light all the time. Damn, they have no idea how it feels to have somebody march into your country, strip your freedom away and force something on them in the name of democracy. Neither do I for that matter, but I can only imagine how it must feel, and what I could have done about it were I put in such a situation. It is only a natural outcome of being in the place where the Iraqi nationalists find themselves. What is wrong of course is that there are foreign guys making the most of this whole chaotic situation (namely Al-Qaeda and their friends) and getting involved to meet their ultimate objective - the personal war against StrangeLandians. Of course, they dont know better, cos they always do turn up everywhere StrangeLandians go anyway.

It is sad to see a nation with an unparalleled history (the Mesopotamia of ancient days) where culture and science and religion has been nurtured over thousands of years, just like HomeLand, having to face times like these. I agree they were suffering under the reign of a dictator. But, what StrangeLand seems to be ready to offer them is a constitution written by people "hand-picked" for the job (wonder who gets to decide) and most likely a democracy with an elected leader, yes, but one who is going to rule like a Putin or a Hosni Mubarak; more like an elected dictator.

Funniest Radio Ad

Yeah this is definitely the funniest commercial I've heard on radio. It goes like this.
"Can I borrow 99 cents?"
"Why do you need 99 cents?"
"Well, I was going to get my car fixed."
"For 99 cents?"
"No, thats a couple hundred bucks. I was planning to go the gas station to put some gas in my car."
"Gas for 99 cents?"
"No, thats about 15 dollars. I was thinking I could then go to Wendys and get myself a cheese burger for 99 cents"
"So, you have 215 dollars for your car, but you don't have the 99 cents for your cheeseburger?"
"Ok, can I borrow 215 dollars 99 cents?"
"No!"
"Ummm .. what about the 99 cents part?"

Funniest guy in my company

Yeah, Im gonna pass a judgement on this too. This guy goes by the name of jd, but I think he should be JK (cos those are his initials). This is our conversation about me helping him out with some of his bugs :

JK : "Ive got a series of bugs which I think you could deal with better. Can you look at them and let me know what we should be doing?"
Me: "Yeah, I think I can do that cos Ive seen those before. Ill let you know what we should do to handle, if there's something to do at all"
JK: "You freaking rule my world! If we have a third child, we'll name him Satwik" (Just to make it clear with all the dirty minds out there - when he says 'we', he means him and his wife)
Me: "No, that would be wrong. Every 3rd child in the world is Chinese, not Indian. I think its every 4th child in the world thats Indian."
JK: "So, I have to have 2 kids in order to name one after you? Would you just accept my heartfelt thanks and a hearty handshake in place of that?"

There's this other occasion when one other guy (MB, aged 30) from the workplace invites me to his house. He says - "Hey Sawik (they miss the 't' usually), you are welcome to come and hang out with me and my old lady for the football game". JK goes "Oh MB still lives with his mom, in case you didn't know". MB : "I was about to say, dont mention to my wife that I called her that..damn you JD".

One time, JK wanted to skip coming to office, and this is what his email said - "My wife has to visit the doctor and I am supposed to play the role of a doting husband who accompanies her to the doc, for an appointment late in the afternoon, ignoring the fact that its gonna be freaking hot."

If somewhere down the line, you felt I am funnier than this guy, write a blog on me!

Gals, Databases and AI

3 things I never really understood, and I think Im not cut out to understand them either. I atleast have the claim to fame of getting through papers on the latter two. But, them gals, damn they are so uncanny and they so hide behind a facade all the time, greatest actors ever, greatest manipulators ever too. All you guys out there are going "we know what you're talking about", and all the gals are going "What the ....". Why are gals so hard to understand? Why have databases become such a big deal that people do million dollar research on them? When AI is all theory, and nothing really seems to work, what's all the hype about, why are we still dreaming and pumping money into trying to imitate the human mind?

Pedernales Doesnt Fall! - Part 2

2005-10-09T15:36:00.000-05:00

Continuing...A voice that sounds like Gollum in the Lord of the Rings tells me - 'We had told you. Dont follow the deer!'. Gollum warns the ring-bearer Frodo Baggins not to follow the lights in the marshes, and I complain cos he never warned me before I ventured. All around me I see the same scenes, everywhere looks the same. 5 minutes of dense woods, and a minute of clearing with sunlight and only cactii to tackle. I ponder trailing back. Nope. no good. I will only get more lost. I pull out some more thorns from my jeans and my hair. I stop to hear a rumble! A car is it?? I run forward to a clearing only to realise its a passing small plane. I wonder if they are looking for me? Darn, no one even knows Im here. I didnt tell anybody I was going to Pedernales Falls. I was worried about getting lost on the highway. That feels so much better than being lost in the woods! (Take a look at the photograph alongside to see what I just emerged from at a clearing)

As I march on aimlessly (but in my head Im still moving left), I pull out the map the nice lady had handed to me with the entrance pass. Its only a road map, how can they map the woods? But, it is reassuring to realise that the huge park area I am supposedly in is bounded on the left by the road and on 2 sides by the river, which seems to be meandering away making the area bloat on the top and on the right. 'I just have to make it either to the road or to the river. If I reach the river, I walk upstream to make it the falls and to the road.' I feel better now. I take stock of what I have. I have only sipped a few drops of the Lizard drink and gobbled up a sandwich, so Im left with only one. Damn, I should have had a compass. Atleast I could know which way to go. I dont even have a watch on me to tell the time. After around 20 more minutes of suppressing panic and dismissing thoughts of getting lost, I reach another clearing and hear another faint rumble. I look skywards. Nothing. Damn, could this be a car? The rumble continues for a long time. There is a speed limit of 25mph on these roads. So, if that is a car, Im gonna hear the rumble for some time. And to my delight, I do! I can hear it in the distance. I make a mental note of the direction and hurry on.

Im so excited now that I plunge through the bushes and the thorns. Its like Im a kid in a remote village who's never seen a car, but only heard about it. Another car swishes by. Im so sure Ive traced my route back to the road now. More low-hanging branches and cactii to tackle. But, somehow God has increased the traffic on the road for me! Its like a lighthouse in the sea now, ever visible. After about 10 minutes of maneouvring, I catch a glimpse of the road! Awesome! It feels so good to be back on the beaten path. Now, Im not looking into the woods again. I will walk along this road like a horse, who sees only straight ahead with those things covering its eyes.

The falls

I finally make it to the falls! This is what I was here for in the first place. I just took a brief sabbatical on the way. The clear blue water is a sight to behold. The rocks lining the water are pristine themselves, carved by the fury of the river. Alluvial soil, somewhat yellowish in colour, lines the river. What is disappointing is that there isnt actually a waterfall. Its a trickle a couple of feet high! Thats it. I wonder why they call it the Pedernales Falls. I know the river is called Pedernales. Or is it some famous Mexican guy who comes and falls here? That doesnt make sense. Maybe a mexican going by the name Pedernales once came and fell here. So, they should be calling it Pedernales Fell. But then, the Mexicans aren't really good at English, so I should give them a break. This is really Pedernales Falls. I take my comment back.

Another exploring session, where I dont venture anywhere where there aint people. I watch a bunch of kids going behind the rocks into the woods. I aint going there pal. Another miss, when I fail to shoot a tortoise that came out of the water for a short time. He (or maybe she, I dunno) makes me wait for another 10 minutes giving me hope that I will get another chance. But, I finally lose patience. Catch a vulture from pretty close though. I havent missed out on all the animals after all. To be frank, there arent many. I have mentioned all the animals I have seen on this blog! Yeah, not to forget the fish in the water, but that goes without saying. Like the dragonflies and the bees and all them wierd insects in the woods.

As I walk back toward the parking lot, I try to locate the point where I ventured out, away from the road. But, its so damn difficult! It all looks the same. Finally, after an exhausting walk with the terrain frequently climbing upwards, and where I have guzzled all of my Lizard stuff, I make it to the car, which is so damn hot! I had put it in the shade, but the shade apparently decided to move. I drive out again, slowly, cos they dont allow fast cars in the park. Once Im on the road again, I hit the radio back on and push the gas pedal. Its good to be back driving! And my rock station is faithful, and plays my favourite stuff again - Audioslave, Weezer, Red Hot Chilli Peppers, The Killers, Fuel, Foo Fighters. The freeway drive is refreshing. Feels so good to be back in the concrete jungle, on the concrete roads, making my way past the slower cars, on a path I know leads home (hotel in this case) for sure.

Ouch, whats that? Damn, these thorns have gone through my sneakers. There are more on my feet everywhere. I wish I had my mom or my girlfriend or my sisters here to hand me a tweezer. Where do I get one now?

Pedernales Doesnt Fall! - Part 1

2005-10-09T14:41:00.000-05:00

Ever since I have landed in StrangeLand, I havent really enjoyed my weekends and my time off work, especially cos Ive been put up in a hotel and havent had an opportunity to make friends. On top of that, all the guys at my client's workplace are married. No, that doesnt imply I am gay please! Just that they'd rather spend time with their wives, and not hang out with me. The only weekend I thoroughly enjoyed was the labour day weekend when I went to New Jersey and had a lot of fun with my little sisters watching Niagara falls (that thing does fall, around 150k gallons of water a second in all!) and New York city.

Well, this weekend I decided to do something I enjoy, hanging out with nature and hear the birds chirping, wind whistling through the trees and of course some glimpse of wildlife (the variety that doesnt like the taste of me). So, I did my research on google, picked up a Texas state park and used google maps to pick a route that I could remember easily. The park's called Pedernales Falls State Park and visitors have given it an awesome rating.

Preparation

I wake up early (something I cant do when I need to get to work), make 2 cheese sandwiches (my own secret recipe, tastes awesome!) and put a bottle of Lizard Lightning in the bag. Thats a drink for those who dont know, and its neither got Lizards nor is it meant for them. A simple orange and mango blend with ginseng (yeah the stuff that keeps you rocking alert). Something wierd tells me I should prefer a pair of jeans as opposed to shorts. I thank myself twice later that day for listening to that something.

Forward Journey

As I walk out of the hotel at 9 am I realise its pretty cold..good choice those jeans! I was pretty tense about making the road trip although it was only 41 miles. Somehow the thought of getting lost in a StrangeLand without a mobile phone at hand is something that doesnt appeal to me. But, thats really dumb, cos in HomeLand I head out on trails with a mobile phone on me, which practically becomes a worthless timekeeping device with no network coverage, and somehow that never made me tense. Well, here's a reason. I was alone this time!

My car has an awesome audio system with the bass turned up high which makes the car literally shake. The radio station (101x) dishes out some of my favourites - Metallica, Hoobastank, Stone Temple Pilots, Gorillaz, Red Hot Chilli Peppers, and I relax and enjoy the scenic drive. Im so damn relaxed I miss the right turn onto 3232 which was supposed to take me to the park. I was expecting a big road. Instead it was a single lane ranch road lined with a dead raccoon and another unidentifiable animal battered by some speeding car. I decide to slow down. The park was a serene and calm place, the calm broken occasionally by passing cars.

At the entrance, the nice lady selling tickets tells me - "Im sure you are hear to do some hiking today, huh?" "Naah, Im just hear to see the place, heard so much about it. Plus I dont hike alone." How wrong I was gonna be! I park my car at the parking lot, and decide to walk the 2 and half miles to the falls. I didnt wanna drive to the falls cos this was the day I do something healthy! After all, it only comes once a month or so. As I trundle along, some nice park rangers drive by, waving their hands and, Im sure wondering why I am walking on the road.

Misadventure

It was kinda boring walking on the road. Both the sides of the road were lined with dense woods, and I could hear the sounds of birds and insects and rustling in the bushes. There was no one else walking on the road too. Somehow, I might have looked like a moron, as everyone who drove by, made sure to give me a wierd second glance. Im now getting bored with this walk, its not exciting at all. Up ahead, I see the road bending to the right, sharply. I tell myself - 'Dude, this is the chance. Lets get into the woods and walk on straight and meet the road at the end of the bend. You've been looking into the woods and holding back too long.'

As soon as Im in, I hear something move around in the bushes ahead. Woah! A deer with horns and all just hopped by! I hurry to fish out my camera and by the time I can focus and prepare to shoot, 5 more have blazed the same trail. C'mon, one more, from somewhere. Nope. No deers to shoot for you today. Im determined to get my photograph, so I follow the deer. After a few minutes, I realise its pointless, cos they are too fast, and my jeans are slowing me down. So, I stop and look at them damn jeans. They're full of thorns! Damn, Im surrounded by cactii and almost all the trees, shrubs, bushes have pointed ends. I thank myself again for choosing the jeans over the shorts. Another glance and I see dead trees and white remains of old trees. Immediately, my mind goes back to the 'Blair Witch Project'. The scene around me, the dense woods, dead trees, rocks, hardly any sunlight making it down to the ground and the bumpy terrain, reminds me of the scary sights in that movie. Of course, its daytime here and Im a loooong way away from sunset.

I decide Im enjoying this and keep going inwards, my geographic sense telling me I must be walking parallel to the road. Ducking under thorny branches, moving around thickets, avoiding huge cactii fields I keep trundling along. After about half an hour, I remember that I had set out to meet the road ahead. And damn, I havent even heard a car rumble by for more than 15 minutes. Where am I? I quickly dismiss the thought that I may be lost. 'The road has always been to your left dude. You just have to walk left and you will meet it somewhere'. What if the road has ended and Ive ventured a bit too far ahead? Now, Im only walking leftwards. Or so I think cos everytime I avoid passing through low hanging thorny branches or a pocket of cactii, I am actually changing course. And Ive been doing this all along without realising.

Dude you are lost!

Dont suck up please!

2005-10-06T17:07:00.000-05:00

All of us have seen the guy at the workplace (or in school) who sucks up to the boss (or the teacher) all the time in the hope hes always on the first page of the boss' good books. The eternal 'yeah'-man, who agrees with everything the boss proposes and abides by everything the boss asks him to do.
This is not actually about those people, although for the record, I hate them like crazy and usually let them know too. Cos people like me, who like to keep our noses and tongues in places where there is fresh air (as opposed to the boss' a**), realise sooner or later that being in the good books does matter when it comes to getting good grades on an assignment or getting that all-important pay hike, but its something we'd rather not do.

Ok, then whats this about? I am gonna scale this up a few notches, cos this is about my HomeLand sucking up to the Big Boss that is StrangeLand. In fact, HomeLand has been sucking it up for a long time now, and I dont understand why. We arent that gullible that we need to rely on others for our survival, we have never been. Its not like the Big Boss can stand up anytime and wave its magic wand and ensure we die of hunger or choke to death. Then, why do we always go down on our knees at one snap of a finger even when it comes to issues we firmly believe in? Is it a big gameplan our leaders have been playing forever? Something thats superficial so the Big Boss thinks we abide by the rules while we still ensure our own good? I think only time can tell, but it is really humiliating too see your own nation sometimes act like a hungry weasel on the world stage, one who's living off crumbs thrown off other's plates...when its all just an act.

A case in point is the recent nuclear issue between StrangeLand and Iran (yes, not UN and Iran, cos I firmly believe that the 'N' in the UN doesnt have any relevance - it could as easily be replaced with an 'S', the General Assembly has no powers and among the veto powers, StrangeLand being the strongest, runs the rule). HomeLand has always had great ties with Iran, and even the cultures are in a way bound to each other. When it came to us needing backing on the Kashmir issue in the UN in 1994, Iran was backing us with all its gusto. Why then, did HomeLand take a backward step, pull back its arm from around Iran's shoulders when it needed it the most, with IAEA sanctions apparently in the wait? All for some peanuts that go by the name of civilian nuclear technology relationship with StrangeLand? God knows we are independent when it comes to nuclear know-how. We have hardly needed any help developing our nuclear deterrent and we produce most of our nuclear energy through the use of pure indegenious technology. Still, the government has placed a big price on this latest deal and showed the world that we are ready to suck up for the little pat on the back, which we would get from StrangeLand.

This is not something new at all. This land was flourishing during the rule of the Mughal empire with most of the country under one rule, when the Europeans came knocking on the door as traders. Damn good trade I tell you, what a deal they got. They were welcomed with open arms and all they did was bite us where it hurts most. They asked for trade relations, we nodded. They asked to set up a trading company locally, we nodded again. When they were embedded in the economy, they took over politically too. And we still didnt mind, as we have always been a bunch of peace-loving people, and expect to get in return what we give, a true manifestation of karma. What happened later is history, and we still havent stopped acting in that way. I strongly recommend this read as it captures the economic history of the world in a capsule and lets you know why an economy is where it is today.

Prime Minister Nehru was the first Prime Minister of the country, and in a way, he set the trend for things to come (Those interested can get some of the blunders listed here). No doubt he was a good leader, but some of the things he did were totally uncalled for. Like pulling back his troops during the war with Pakistan when India could have resolved the Kashmir conflict then and there by allowing troops into Pak territory, at the behest of the UN which had no understanding of the issue whatsoever. Nehru, the architect of the Hindi-Chini bhai bhai festivity, had gone out of his way to propitiate communist China, accepting even the Chinese annexation of Tibet in a 1954 agreement without settling the Indo-Tibetan border. This famously led to the ignorance of troop build-up on the huge Indo-China border and the smack-on-the-face defeat of 1962 .

Even when it comes to trade and commerce, we have been given a raw deal all the time, but we suck it up. Big MNCs from StrangeLand wanna set up establishments here..go ahead. They wanna export electronics and consumer products to a nation with one of the biggest markets in the world ..red carpet, green signal. Ok, now we wanna send in our agricultural goods to StrangeLand in return...doesnt meet standards, too much pesticide, the "you are dumping stuff in our market and killing our local farmer" comments, heavy tariff duties, holding up perishables for inspection too long in ports to ensure they rot and are sent back. How about textiles, they will be at competitive prices...StrangeLand allows that but immediately triggers a media campaign showing that Indian imported textiles are inflammable! Dude that was cotton we sent you! And your mannequin is burning like it was doused in gasoline! No change in our response though, we still give Coke and Pepsi massive exposure to our markets, inspite of laboratory tests proving the presence of insecticides in them.

Nevertheless, the globalization process ensures that jobs and manufacturing and trade still flows into HomeLand. We are a prosperous country, with a growth rate only superceded by neighbours China. I have seen so many talk shows and speeches and lectures here in StrangeLand where they are talking about HomeLand and China as a superpower in the coming years, not respectfully, but with a touch of disdain. Like its something they cant prevent. Yet, our leaders fail to see this? An independent nation that stands on its own two feet still behaves like it needs the support of the whole world.. the eternal good boy of the world. StrangeLand never needs support, be it to march into a country with troops or decide the fate of economies of the smaller countries. They wield their power almost like dictators and its time for them to be overthrown. They have warmed their a**es enough on top of the world while everyone else burns.

I want to see my nation stand up for what it truly is and what it believes in. Dont just state that you deserve a place in the Security Council, thats like filling up an application form. Demand it and ensure the world finally realises what this country is all about. We arent a bunch of pushovers. Behold everyone, our time hath come!

The American Cookie : Something HomeLand Can Do With

2005-10-02T16:36:00.000-05:00

Yeah, I know, my posts have been meandering yes, but ultimately, always within a quarter mile radius of the closest fuel station - StrangeLand bashing - that keeps me going. I can go on like this and never run out of gas, cos well, after all, Im in the nation that burns the most per capita gas anywhere. Plus, the fact Im living here for the time being and the way things are here, the gas station is always within a quarter mile radius, giving me more fodder to fire my cannons. But for once, I wanna tell you something I do like about this country! Yeah, you can call this a weekend break from the bashing for StrangeLand.

Number 1... Chocolate Cookies! They are everywhere. I absolutely have a brain-dead craving for the chocolate chip cookies. Something about those cookies, I have no idea what, makes them hundred times better than the cookies I get back in HomeLand. Maybe its the fact that the chips are just the right size and the ratio of chip to cookie is perfect, but thats going too far. My office is stacked with Famous Amos cookies and boy I cant stop having them. Im not a great food critic, so dont expect me to zap off a few foodie metaphors here to show you how enjoyable they are!

In case you are scared Im gonna list more cookies here (or you were desperatingly hoping I do that and put you to sleep, you insomniac!), well fear not. The American cookie is something I always liked about StrangeLand, and I used it to represent the good stuff about this land, just like they used that absolute nonsense metaphor "The American Pie" for something equally enjoyable I guess.

Number 2... Land of opportunities. Boy, if someone wants to make it big here, she just needs to work hard, believe in herself and convince the ones with the moolah to pump it into her ideas (Political correctness demands making no gender assumptions, but if you choose she over a he, you are always safe. Of course I slipped in a 'Boy' instead of a 'Girl' to begin with, heeheehaahaa). Well, isnt that true everywhere you moron, you wanna ask? Its the reknowned "Work Hard, Believe in Yourself and Trick Morons to pay for what you believe in" funda, never fails. (Never heard of it? Well now you have!) The only difference is that the morons with the money are all here, and they are desperate to multiply their investments if you have a real good idea with you that assures good returns. (Well, who can blame them, when you can sell salt substitutes with less Sodium in them here! What, the NaCl has half an atom of Na now? Before you think Im a moron, lemme assure you they use some compound without Na to say that Na is almost N/A in this substitute.) Back in HomeLand, apart from multiplying the number of newborns, the morons arent really handing their money on a platter. Of course, there is more money going round here, than back home, too, which helps. But, I think Im willing to fight that stubborn disbelieving attitude and make the morons back home turn around sometime and dish it out to me.

Number 3...Awesome sports cars! Whatever you do, you cant get the variety of sports cars they have in StrangeLand back in HomeLand. I absolutely went berserk when I saw the big Hummer on the roads here! Yeah, they are gas guzzlers and not environment friendly, but they are military design jeeps dude! Never seen something as astounding in my life. For now, check out their website - HUMMER!

Number 4...Open Society. Yeah, Ive been the one whos been concerned about this society being far too open. I still stand by that. However, when I compare that to the one we have back in HomeLand, I realise that all one needs to do is find a middle ground between the two. One where parents still have a say about how their kids are brought up and in what environment, and they can make sure they inculcate the right attitude and values in them. This is the part that the culture in HomeLand does have.

The part it can do without is where the society plays a big role in deciding how parents bring their kids up, what rules they enforce on their kids. If a guy is seen hanging out with a girl, the girl is labelled with a 'bad character' tag (which is as good as saying that the milk carton in the fridge is past its expiry date, and its as easy to say that too). And in a nation where marriages are mostly arranged with the mutual consent of mainly the parents first and then, the actual marrying couple, it is of prime importance for a girl to maintain a squeaky clean image (like me! although I dont need one, cos im a guy!) so that she isnt rejected just because too many people have been talking about having seen her hanging out with guys too often. Yuck! Makes me sick this ridiculous concept. The guys she hangs out with, on the other hand, are totally innocent, as they say in my land (doodh ka dhula - One cleaned with milk, supposed to be enchanting in the old days, but I would die of the stench of milk if you did that to me). They can move around doing what pleases them, and then solely based on their income they earn or the money their ancestors hand down, go ahead and demand the woman of their choice - one with good nature, culinary skills, one who can walk with charm, sing with pride (they sometimes do make wud-be brides walk and sing, ok, as a pre-nuptial test) and of course, one who is utterly beautiful so that he can take her to parties and be the envy of friends. Its still not balanced this world, when it comes to equality for men and women. Sad to see really.

A woman still is the one to make most sacrifices, be it with her career or with the guy she loves. Parents still make sure that the girl marries where they want her to be, oblivious to the fact that she may wanna marry someone else. A girl and a guy together means only one thing - they are never friends (platonic relationship? Whats that?), never brother and sister. A guy is always more adventurous, and brash. He wouldnt give a damn about what others think, about his parents opinions when it comes to marrying someone he loves, about moving around with anyone he likes to hang out with. It is supposedly a lot easier for a girl to tear apart the "Welcome" doormat outside her house (more correctly, her parents house), than it is for a guy, cos hes always forgiven, sometimes even overlooked. Thank God I was born a male! But its not all that rosy (I need a manly flower for this metaphor, cauliflowery?). I cant move around hand-in-hand with my girl without evoking unapproving glares. I cant sit and chat with a female friend openly very often cos people would assume Im her boyfriend. Heck, I cant even treat a girl like a sister, something Ive always yearned for. If one of my dearest aunts, someone whos cared for me from the day I was born, wants to treat me like a son, she cant. Everywhere, the society steps in to show whos the boss. You are either in or you're out. And if you wanna stay in, you play by their rules.

Yeah, I have finally brought out something I seriously hate about HomeLand. Better too open as it is here, than oppressively closed as back home. I wish I could do something about it, but I can only make my own stand, express my opinions, and stand by what I believe is right. In the meanwhile, the people who form this society will carry on spreading their menace, no amount of education seems to change their closed mindset. In Bon Jovi's words - Keep The Faith, cos (in my words) there is a turn up ahead somewhere and everything is gonna be just right, like the chocolate chip cookie from Famous Amos!

Happy Birthday Nandita!

2005-09-29T00:16:00.000-05:00

Thats for my sister, Nandita Patel, who turns 18 today. She's my cousin sister actually, but I prefer to call her sister, as she, along with her younger imp (as in devil!) Yera remember to send me rakhis every year, and basically I am closest to them compared to my other cousins. Anyway, I ask the typical 18th birthday question. "So, Nandita, what do you plan to do today on your 18th birthday. You know, like something you havent done before?" You know, if someone would have asked me I would have said "Vote! But damn, they had their elections 3 months back". Nah, I would have said drive a fast car. However, I heard of cases here in StrangeLand where kids ache to turn 18 cos they can officially drink alcohol now. (Yeah, the alcohol prohibition is enforced pretty strongly here. Of course, they dont give a damn about teenage pregnancy though cos I guess everybody is too busy making sure no one who aint supposed to drink, drinks while kids who dont wanna drink find better pastimes. I wonder why I enjoyed playing cricket and football and sports so much when I was young. Those were my pastimes. Thats the longest paranthesised statement I have ever seen. You've forgotten where I was going right?). These guys goto a bar and have competitions where the birthday boy guzzles down glasses and glasses of liqour to check his "stamina" and of course, some drown themselves to death. So much desperation? They must be eternally thirsty.

I have migrated again. So, Nandita still has a teddy bear with her, which is sweet. She loves teddy bears like a lot of other gals. But, I wanted to make fun of her and I went on like a typical elder bro saying how shes too big for her lil teddy and all that. She came back - "Satwik bhai, I think I am glad I chose the teddy over drugs, alcohol and smoking, dont you?" It hit me then! Man, here its a big deal if you get through high school without picking up any of those habits. Drugs?? I have never had a friend in all my education who ever did drugs. And here it is a lot more common. Dude, Nandita is right. She's a strong girl to have evaded peer pressure and all that and come through unscathed. Cheers to that! (My glass is filled with fruit punch ok, remember - teetotaller?) She and her sister are the silver lining in the clouds for me, cos I firmly believed Indians could not bring their kids up here and not have them get affected by the culture and the inherent prejudices and vices attached to it. Three cheers to her parents too for that. But, no.. Im still not gonna advise other Indians to raise their families here! Its too scary whats out there.

Thats it. My tiniest blog ever. Dedicated to my lovely sister on her birthday. You make me proud. By the way, her answer to my stupid question was "Nothing great, I will just go out with my friends and also with my parents". I dont remember when I last spent a birthday celebrating with my parents. Wait, yes I do. I was 10 years old and mom had baked this cake which looked like a cricket field and it had fielders and batsmen on it too. And my bro was jealous, cos he didnt get a fancy cake for his birthday, ever!

The Frog In The Well

2005-09-25T16:17:00.000-05:00

I bet everyone of you has heard the folk tale of the frog who used to live in the well. If you haven't here's a Chinese version of it. Even in ancient Sanskrit texts, the example of a kupamanduka is well-known and widely used. For those who don't want to take the pain of researching this abstract metaphor I have brought up again, lemme put it down in a line if I can :- The well-frog does indeed have a world-view, but its view is confined to the world of the well. It must be quite apparent where Im heading now, so hang on!

Yes, you guessed it right. StrangeLand is the well. It hit me real hard, this fact, when I heard they called their baseball league the World Series, and that the New York Yankees are poised to become World Champions. Yeah, believe me, when all the teams in this World Series are from the same nation, you are guaranteed to have a World Champion every year from somewhere in StrangeLand. Who plays baseball anyway! Its not even as widely popular as cricket if you take note of the number of people watching the two sports. Well, guess who won the Baseball World Cup 2005? Cuba. Where was StrangeLand placed? 7th. I was surprised to see the World Champions so lowly placed. Of course, Im sure most of their top champion athletes didn't play, cos the world cup of course isn't the true world championship, is it?

"You know, I went to Europe for my holidays, and this car almost ran into me, cos I was walking on the road and these morons drive on the wrong side." Dude! Just because you drive on the right side of the road (as opposed to the left side as found in, well, almost everywhere), doesn't mean everyone is on the wrong side. "Do you watch football?" "Yeah, its my favourite sport!" "Cool, then you are gonna have lotsa fun here, cos we have football all over the TV on weekends" "You mean American football? The one where you wear helmets?" "Yeah, what did you think? Oh. you mean soccer." Soccer? Don't rename the game that is the real football just so you can snatch that name away for a sport that is not really even close to football. How often do I see these helmeted-gladiators actually kicking the damn thing called a football, which is not even round! (To be more mathematically correct, spherical) The ball is mostly found in the hands of a guy trying to run it to the far end of the field, so that he can finally get to kick it into the massive goal. They fight and dodge and tackle for eternity, to get that one elusive chance to actually kick the ball. Why don't you steal handball for a name. How many countries play handball anyway? Why go and pledge the name of the world's favourite sport for yourself. Maybe they were trying to hide the fact that American football was derived from rugby, an English sport. Just like baseball was derived from cricket, another British import. It does really seem that StrangeLand completely rejects whatever is extremely popular elsewhere. They have their own Formula 1 GP, but definitely dont deserve it; it is not even close to being a popular sport here. For those who are not aware, it is the most televised sport everywhere else.

I am being harsh again I guess. Why should I expect one bunch of folks in one corner of the earth to be like the rest? After all they are superhumans here, arent they? We are simple humans compared to them. You dunno what Im talking about? How many disaster movies have you seen? Where the earth is on the verge of extinction. Who saves the world? Yes, it is the StrangeLandian who comes to the rescue, the knight in shining armour, the whiteman on a black stallion. The quintessential American superhero. Man, they love them here. And you know what, this doesnt end here. It actually trickles over (more like floods into) their international politics (I should be calling it diplomacy to be politically correct, but I was more inclined toward using war-mongering and bullying actually) where the President of StrangeLand is a leader of the World and he (I dont need to be politically correct here, over 50 presidents and not a single lady yet, not a single black president either, but thats a whole different cupboard I dont wanna creak open now) gets to poke his nose in the affairs of other nations and decide to change the course of their future and get away with it without being called a war-mongerer. Do good for your own nation first dude; for once be the frog in the well when you should be, blind to the outside world. Believe me, it is widely appreciated. Just dont steal the name football though, its a cheap thing to do!

Rocking Start - In Excess

2005-09-24T00:01:00.000-05:00

Perception. Plain, untainted, innocent. A common human trait. Even when we have no knowledge whatsoever about something, our brain doesn’t leave a void in our memory cells. There’s something it always cooks up, out of nothing.

Well, it is no more truer (if that’s even a word) anywhere else than in this StrangeLand. The folks here are renowned for having apathy toward knowledge about foreign lands, foreign people and the works, and are famously represented by a President who regularly comes up with fodder for the hungry media when he’s caught as confused as a toddler in a strip joint (One of my favourite Sidhuisms this one!). And this isn’t my view here, its something I have known, but has been reaffirmed by comments from the locals.

I didn’t have to wait long for my enlightenment to begin. I started discovering this from the first day at work here. I was in the land where Rock and Roll took its first lil steps. And I totally wanted to see a rock show by a real kick-*** band in the time that I’m here (which was seemingly short then, not anymore, boohoo). I asked one of the guys, whether he’s planning to go to the OzzFest which was to rock a neighbouring town in 2 weeks’ time. And immediately, 3 guys pop out of their cubicles and rush toward mine with expressions clearly indicating I had blasphemed. One goes – “Did you say Ozzfest? Cos I think I heard Ozzfest.” I went – “Yeah, I must have said Ozzfest, if you heard Ozzfest. But, you know what? I did actually mention Ozzfest.” (One of my stupid attempts at a nervously stuttered joke. No one noticed though, their minds were still grappling with the fact that they had heard an Indian say Ozzfest.). “You mean the show where Ozzy Osbourne plays right?”. “Yeah, unless you have a festival for kids where there are numerous stagings of ‘The Wizard of Oz’.” (By this time, Im on a roll with my stupid jokes, cos well, no one’s actually listening!). “You mean to say Indians listen to this stuff?”. “What did you think? We are tribals, and we dance with sticks??”

A few days later. People are surprised I can handle English as a spoken language with as much ease as a stenographer typing on a typewriter. (You know when she’s so good she doesn’t need to look at the keys while typing away, and all that. If that’s the best metaphor I could come up with, I suck!). “I would have thought Indians would have a hard time with English, cos you know, they must not be teaching that in school.” Well, maybe I went to the wrong school then, cos I have been learning English since my first day at school. Another classic one coming up. “Are you a Hindu?”. “Yeah, I am”. “Oh is that why you said you speak Hindi at home?” “Yes, that’s true, but only if you speak American at home.”

I know Im being harsh here, but I expected people of StrangeLand to know about my country atleast as much as I do about their StrangeLand. Maybe that’s simply cos they don’t have as many relatives in India, as I have in StrangeLand. I wonder why our schools took the pain of teaching us about the American Revolution in History. Im damn sure, folks here haven’t read about Gandhi, although I know the contributions of people like Jefferson and Washington.

Well, lemme just go on meandering again. This blog no longer has any meaning, just a list of anecdotes. I was talking with the lady at the reception, and we were discussing the Tsunami that hit Asia in December last year (cos you know Katrina was in the news, well the only thing in the news to be more correct, and now Rita’s coming in a few hours!). This huge monster of a guy walks in and heard me mention Sri Lanka. He goes, “Is Sri Lanka a country? I thought its an island.” Huh?? Can’t islands be nations? Hasn’t he heard of island nations? We simply laughed it off.

Well, now these things hit me everyday. “You know the apparel stores here cover acres and acres of area.” “I know, they are called malls.” “How do you know?” “We have those!”. “Well, the theaters here are so big, they have 10-12 screens.” “Multiplexes” “Yes, how..”

My roomie has been in the US for 8 years now, and although he’s from Sri Lanka, that doesn’t stop him from getting surprised either. “Man, I wonder who this guy is. He keeps turning up everywhere she goes” “Oh, he’s Carrie Bradshaw’s ex-long-term boyfriend. One she wanted to marry” “Whose boyfriend?” “The character Sarah Jessica Parker plays” “You get this in India?” “These are reruns my dear friend.” “But, isn’t that amount of sex talk taboo?” “Well, we don’t need to talk! We love listening to these girls do the talking!” …. “What is this nonsense? Why are they singing rolling stones?” “Rock Star INXS” “What?” “Well, INXS is choosing their new band member, and they have made the competition a kind of a reality show thingy.” “How ..”

Well, the playing field has evened out now. People around me know what to expect from me. I have seen most television shows StrangeLand has to offer. I am a big fan of Rock music, especially the heavier stuff and Iron Maiden is one band I want to hear like crazy. (Too bad they couldn’t make it to the Ozzfest here). There’s a lot of stuff I don’t know about, and that is now common knowledge too, like college football, NFL, baseball (actually my lack of knowledge here surprised them more than what I knew about. “You’ve never seen a football game?”). I totally think there are perceptions I had about this country that have been proven wrong too, but Im not gonna talk about that! Cos this is not about my perceptions! Nah, but seriously, as much as this amused me, I soon realized it is human nature, but something that certainly expresses itself in a more profound way here. Cos people in StrangeLand never keep opinions to themselves. True Freedom of Speech, they tell me.

Welcome to Bloggerville

2005-09-20T17:33:00.000-05:00

Nah, I'm not welcoming any of you. Just myself, cos as is obvious, this is my very first blog...ever. That is of course not saying you aren't welcome here, cos otherwise I will be writing like a moron with no one giving a rat's ***. So, lemme put out a doormat right now and welcome you too. This first blog will be, simply put, just a rant. No point, no target, no whim.

I have always been intrigued by people who write blogs, and always told myself "Blogs arent for me! I will read them, but never write one." I held this opinion that people who write blogs are those who have either a lot of spare time, or have few around who would hear them out often, or even those who are unable to express views or thoughts freely in any other manner. I for one, run up the longest phone bills I have ever seen (Dear friend Rajan, I've never hit 8 grand, but on an average Im still ahead!), which implies I was mostly found on the phone, talking to my girl, or my sister, or my mom, or my bro, or my dad, or my friends, or ..well, you know. I never felt the need to express myself more. Until now. Cos Im now a Stranger in a Strange Land (ala Iron Maiden), where I have come leaving my family and friends behind. No one will simply listen to me, unless its a bartender getting a kick out of getting me drunk and him tip-rich. Sadly, I'm a teetotaller. I can't simply pick up the phone and call someone and hope they talk to me, unless I call a party-line where bimbos get paid to giggle and talk dirty. Again, this is an assumption, I've never used this service.

Yeah, I've already painted a good picture of myself haven't I? Squeaky clean. Maybe even irritatingly squeaky. You know, like when you rub a faintly damp tissue on a mirror. And maybe you wanna pity me too by now. Boohoo, somebody stole this kid's phone. Someone get him a new one, so he can get the hell out of bloggerville. But, alas, Im here to stay! Or so I say, for now, I'll let you judge whether this turns out to be one of those many things I start out enthusiastically on but never finish. Hmm, but why can't I remember one earlier instance of this when I desperately need one? C'mon jog your brain. That's the only part of your body that gets any exercise since you landed in this StrangeLand where people never walk, except to and from the car park. You know, in India, I took a home on the 6th floor, just so I could walk up and down each day. Of course, that also meant that the damn watchman always assumed I never needed the lift. He would turn it off when I would need it the most, like when I was coming to StrangeLand with 50kgs of luggage. Oh no, I am supposed to put that in pounds right? Cos citizens of StrangeLand dont understand kilos. I guess they have stopped reading this already though.

That was some meandering. I should write with more purpose. Else, my blogs are gonna end up like my phone conversations, where I talk about any damn thing that comes to my head. Let me bring your pain to an end now before you ask for an aspirin. Cos like they say in this part of StrangeLand - "I ain't got one, son!".